As the owner of the apparently "Ghey" (wtf??) bike in question, I'd like to thank everyone who voted, aside from the folks who compared me to Ponch. You can kiss my ass (okay, just kidding, I'm new, take it easy on me....)
For whatever its worth, I figure since I've always had much faster bikes, and was always at the back of the pack anyway, atleast now I can carry some stuff while I bring up the rear.
Anyway, thanks for the comments, and F-Scott Downs!!!!