[highsider]

I have come to realize that the concept of "loaning" money does not apply to family - to them, it is equivalent to "giving".

[Lucky13]

I loaned 3k to my parents when my father became very ill. They said they would pay me back, but I never asked for it. I figure the shit I put them through and cost them as a kid I still owe them money...

When loaning money to family, it's more like giving it to them..

depends upon how stupid the decision behind it is...

but yeah, I have been known to "loan" some particular family members some cash from time to time...

[Honclfibr]

I still owe my parents a few G's for tuition.

But I didn't see an option for "worthless mooch".

So, bemused

[bigred875]

depends..I have and do..but I do not except to get it back...

If it is very important I will...but if it is something trivial I will not...

[hohum]

Always will loan to family in emergency, but I never loan to family with the expectation of getting it back.

[LuvDog]

Ditto the others.... I've given money to family on several occassions.

Never expect or ask for it back.

[highsider]

Yikes....I guess I'm a dickhead

I loaned a certain family member $10,000 in 2001 so they wouldn't "lose their house" to the tax department. When I went to their house shortly thereafter, they were remodeling their kitchen, supposedly to make the house worth more for a re-fi. The next week a new (used) Winnebago showed up. I have yet to see any of the money, and their house still has a tax lien on it, thus no refinancing.

The Christmas after, said family member's children were "getting only dollar store items" for Christmas, because they had not money. $1,000 I never saw again.

The same family member then had no car. $500.

The car's motor blew up. $150 + labor.

Now, the heat bill is overdue, and I refuse to give them the $1,500. Am I a dick?

[Karaya One]

You should have been a dick after the 10 G's.

That is a lot of cake to hand over and get nothing back. And I would remind them about once a month about it.

[bigred875]

Originally posted by highsider
Yikes....I guess I'm a dickhead

I loaned a certain family member $10,000 in 2001 so they wouldn't "lose their house" to the tax department. When I went to their house shortly thereafter, they were remodeling their kitchen, supposedly to make the house worth more for a re-fi. The next week a new (used) Winnebago showed up. I have yet to see any of the money, and their house still has a tax lien on it, thus no refinancing.

The Christmas after, said family member's children were "getting only dollar store items" for Christmas, because they had not money. $1,000 I never saw again.

The same family member then had no car. $500.

The car's motor blew up. $150 + labor.

Now, the heat bill is overdue, and I refuse to give them the $1,500. Am I a dick?

nope not at all...they would not get 1 cent from me...

I do it like this..I "lend" the money...if I get it back..I will lend again...if not....never again....

See, I know one family member/family "unit" like that...

If you keep loaning them money, you're actually making the problem WORSE.

You are NOT a dickhead, the decisions they are making with respect to their money is fundamentally wrong. THAT's where the problem is. By giving it to them, you keep putting a band-aid on something that should be amputated....

[Nikon]

bemused

[Jaynnus]

Where is the option for 'yes, in a heart beat'??

[highsider]

Originally posted by Jaynnus
Where is the option for 'yes, in a heart beat'??

Oh, you dont see it? Its right next to the option for "Jaynnus is a smart ass."

[Jaynnus]

Originally posted by highsider
Oh, you dont see it? Its right next to the option for "Jaynnus is a smart ass."

Must be something wrong with my 'puter...double checked and I don't see it!!

It is easy for me to say this though, cause my family has not really asked for much over the years and have always paid back anything and everything.

On another note, I am the controller of a small company and I found one employee in particular that kept needing short term non-interest bearing loans for one personal disaster or another. It became an issue of never being able to climb out of the hole for her and was a short term patch that always needed a slightly bigger patch the next time. I had to tell her that I would no longer provide these loans. Yes, I felt bad, but I do agree that it was in her best interest.

[RandyO]

never actually loaned money, but I have cosigned for a loan and got burnt....... I still have a carpet van for sale if anybody wants to go into the carpet cleaning business

[bigred875]

Originally posted by RandyO
never actually loaned money, but I have cosigned for a loan and got burnt....... I still have a carpet van for sale if anybody wants to go into the carpet cleaning business

I would NEVER co-sign on anything for anyone...lol

am I a dick..maybe...but that's what was told to me by my "parents"...I have seen way too many get burned....

off topic - randy can you PM me details..I'm slightly interested..

[SEVENSGT]

Originally posted by RandyO
never actually loaned money, but I have cosigned for a loan and got burnt....... I still have a carpet van for sale if anybody wants to go into the carpet cleaning business

ah yes, I might also have a ford focus for sale also, 2000 low mileage

[SSearchVT]

Based on your description of what happened, I would recomend turning off the tap to that portion of the family.
Loaning money to friends and family can get real sticky fast if you don't work out the details up front. Even then, if they don't pay back, you are screwed. For that reason I don't loan people money I am not ready or able to walk away from. Also remeber that it is your money to do with as you please, and you are not the reason they are having money problems. Good Luck...

[MissTwisties]

I've learned that lending money to family is a mistake. You never see it back. Same thing with the family in law (not the parents, but the bro and sis-in-law), they think we're rich and that we don't need our money back.

[Suf Daddy]

OMG:

10 grand is a lot of bread..........

Here's what I'd do now or next time.....

You work at a "firm".

File a note on the property for the $10,000 but don't foreclose...
(but the week before) the tax lien is executed and the home is taken.

Better to be a creditor in line then on the curb out $13,000.

-Suf Daddy

[damannz]

its hard not too sometimes.after all its family,i guess in one way or another it will come back to you in the end.Id rather have family ask me then to ask outside the circle ya know.cant take it with ya when you go.