[SEVENSGT]

long story short


Your father passes away when you are 1yr old, you have a 6yr sis, and a 15yr bro. Your father have 3 brothers, and a sister. Over the years you fight with not having a dad there to see you through things(but hey you have 3 uncles right?). No the truth is you only see your aunt 1 time just before you get married, and she doesn't come to your wedding. Now in 23yrs none of your uncles have bothered to get intouch with you(even though your name and number are in the phonebook).


29 yrs later you get a phone call, not from your uncle, but from his wife. Keep in mind, growing up not knowing what a dad is like, just seeing other peoples dads is all you know. My sister called to ask me to meet with my uncle, roght now I don't think I will. Her reasons are for me to get to know my father, I don't see a point in that because I have absolutly no memories at all. I do have all his papers from the force, and his flag and badge and his hats. What would you do???

[Nikon]

i answered yes...here why....
I figure that there is no harm that can be done. Maybe you don't like him and, if that's the case, you would never have to see him again and it's not a big deal - at least you made an effort right?
On the other hand, he could be a kool guy and you may get something outta knowing him. Maybe some insight on your dad could give you some info about yourself.
Maybe he's doing this for himself but I figure that it can't hurt to at least meet him....right?

[highsider]

I agree with Nikon on this one, but I have to play the Devil's Advocate as well -

My Dad never met his father until he was 23 years old, and his father was dying of cancer. My Dad was all excited to meet his father, went to visit him in the hospital. When my Dad arrived at the hospital room, flowers in hand, his father said "Yeah, I'll be with you in a minute," and went back to flirting with some nurse.

Sometimes its best to let sleeping dogs lie.

Originally posted by highsider
I agree with Nikon on this one, but I have to play the Devil's Advocate as well -

My Dad never met his father until he was 23 years old, and his father was dying of cancer. My Dad was all excited to meet his father, went to visit him in the hospital. When my Dad arrived at the hospital room, flowers in hand, his father said "Yeah, I'll be with you in a minute," and went back to flirting with some nurse.

Sometimes its best to let sleeping dogs lie.

yeah, but at least there was some chance of it being cool versus no chance.

i fully agree with the snake charmer on this one....

[bentbryan]

Meet with him. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain from it.

[oreo_n2]

thats a long ugly scenario, and i went through it just a year ago when my dad died of cancer, i hadnt seen him in almost.... well a really long time.

i made decisions i regret, try not to do the same, they'll haunt you.

[SEVENSGT]

I get what you guys are saying, but it's NOT my father, and no matter what happens, I still won't know my dad. After reading what you've all said I might meet with him, but I'm still on the fence

[patricia929]

i guess i'm curious why his wife called instead of your uncle. it would nice to know if contacting you was his idea or if it is his wife just wanting to make peace for some reason (like maybe he's in poor health and wants to clear his conscience or something). if it were me i think i'd like to talk to him over the phone first and get some more info before i'd really decide.

that being said, you may actually get a lot out of it. it would be interesting to find out what your dad was like growing up and what the rest of his family is like. they may turn out to be really nice people.

[PinHead]

This might be a chance you wont get again. Maybe it is time to meet them, if it turns out bad you can just walk away without regrets of not meeting them when you had the chance.
Go for it !

[Stoneman]

I wouldn't do it. Like you said, it's NOT your pops. Almost 30 years later, his WIFE calls you? Nope, I'd let HIM deal with 'those' feelings now...

PS-I'm an INCREDIBLY vindictive person...

[Nikon]

Originally posted by Stoneman
PS-I'm an INCREDIBLY vindictive person...

nnnnnnoooooooooooo.....???????......
really???????


uh oh - maybe i'm on THE LIST ....again.....

[Stoneman]

Originally posted by Nikon
nnnnnnoooooooooooo.....???????......
really???????


uh oh - maybe i'm on THE LIST ....again.....

[cyberxen]

I say go meet em... why not?

The wife sounds like a nice person who probably came from a tight-knit family.

I'd go if it was me....

[highsider]

Passing up the chance to meet someone who never bothered to contact you for this long a period of time, IMO, holds very little chance of being a "missed opportunity".

Just my opinion.

[bigred875]

only you can answer this one bud..I here you I am in a similar position..

'cept my father jsut left..he still lives in NH somewhere

What do YOU want to get out of it...it may answer some questions you may have...like why you are teh way you are...etc....

but if it will only cause pain, heartaceh and bad feelings there really is no point...

...but life is short..and family is forever...so back to my original point...

that help...lol

[SEVENSGT]

Originally posted by cyberxen
I say go meet em... why not?

The wife sounds like a nice person who probably came from a tight-knit family.

I'd go if it was me....

Read the whole thing, 29years later, they've been married longer then I have been alive.....


I'm not looking for anything out of this, it's too late to know my dad, I'm 30 now and he passed away when I was 8 months old. Now if I was 13 and he called me to meet with me then it's a diff story.


Highsider this is like the 3rd time we totally agree , although just to make my sister happy I might show up, and kick him in the balls , I really think this is him making peace with himself, not with me

[beet]

you & only you i would go with you first instinct
i find my gut feelings r most of the time good
ps if its bothering you go see him

[beet]

[WildBill]

First thing is I don't know your family so take this with a grain of salt. Maybe there was some bad feeling in your family and your Uncle has stayed away until now figuring that you are old enough to talk to with out preconceived notions about him.

I have an Aunt like that ,she saw me when I was born and I didn't meet her until I was 22 and now we are very close even to the point that I got her and my Mom to at least be civil to each other.

So I would meet him, you have nothing to lose and an Uncle to gain.

[bentbryan]

Originally posted by SEVENSGT
Read the whole thing, 29years later, they've been married longer then I have been alive.....


I'm not looking for anything out of this, it's too late to know my dad, I'm 30 now and he passed away when I was 8 months old. Now if I was 13 and he called me to meet with me then it's a diff story.


Highsider this is like the 3rd time we totally agree , although just to make my sister happy I might show up, and kick him in the balls , I really think this is him making peace with himself, not with me

Just go into it without having any expectations. That way there'll be less of a chance of you being dissappointed.