[highsider]

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted
a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a
friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're 30 feet above sea level. You are at
31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."
She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Democrat."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea
what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where
you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep,
then you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before
we met but, somehow, now it's my fault."

[Kham]

like it! like it!

[Honclfibr]

That joke used to be about engineers and businesspeople. But it's just as funny this way

[TheIglu]

HA HA HA.

NICE.

Where is the God bashing? I WANT GOD BASHING!!!!

[legalspeed]

Originally posted by TheIglu
HA HA HA.

NICE.

Where is the God bashing? I WANT GOD BASHING!!!!

Three nuns approach the pearly gates and are met by Saint Peter.

"Before you may enter, you must prove you have not touched a man's penis", said Peter.

The first nun spoke, "Say, Pete, I need to talk to you."

"What is it?"

"I once did touch a man's penis."

"Oh!" said Peter. "Say seven Hail Marys' and wash the hand in this Holy Water."

The first nun did this and was allowed to enter Heaven.

Then the second nun spoke up, "Hey Pete, can I gargle with that before my friend sticks her fat ass in it?"

[OreoGitorio]