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  #1  
Old 06-01-07, 01:09 PM
Punjistick's Avatar
Gona be a star on my GSXR
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Cohasset, MA
Age: 24
Posts: 2,163
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Become an illegal alien


I thought this was pretty funny.


Becoming Illegal: An actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his Senator

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC , 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington, IA


Get your Forms (NOW)!! Call your Internal Revenue Service
1-800-289-1040.
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  #2  
Old 06-01-07, 02:46 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 81

Become an illegal alien


Hillarious, but true
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  #3  
Old 06-01-07, 03:06 PM
nanu nanu
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Keene
Posts: 110

Become an illegal alien


LOL
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  #4  
Old 06-01-07, 08:47 PM
Stoneman's Avatar
Forum Nazi
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Center Barnstead, NH
Posts: 1,000,182

Become an illegal alien


HA!
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  #5  
Old 06-01-07, 11:12 PM
SVRACER01's Avatar
.65 liter RC51 eater
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: looking out for that cone in 7
Age: 30
Posts: 6,070

Become an illegal alien


Quote:
Originally Posted by Stoneman View Post
HA!
and may i add..... HA HA!
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  #6  
Old 06-02-07, 11:45 AM
JeffL's Avatar
I'm mildly retarded.
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Bernardston, MA
Age: 25
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Become an illegal alien


Wow, where do you sign up?
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  #7  
Old 06-02-07, 12:14 PM
KillBill's Avatar
3,360 miles this season..
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Jefferson, MA
Age: 27
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Become an illegal alien


What the hell is wrong with this country???!!!???
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  #8  
Old 06-08-07, 05:06 PM
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 33

Become an illegal alien


thats some funny crap right there
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