Smart man + smart woman = romance

>>Smart man + dumb woman = affair

>>Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

>>Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

>>

>>OFFICE ARITHMETIC

>>Smart boss + smart employee = profit

>>Smart boss + dumb employee = production

>>Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

>>Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

>>

>>SHOPPING MATH

>>A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

>>A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

>>

>>GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

>>A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

>>A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

>>A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

>>A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

>>

>>HAPPINESS

>>To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a

>>little.

>>To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to

>>understand her at all.

>>

>>LONGEVITY

>>Married men live longer than single men -- but married men are a lot more

>>willing to die.

>>

>>MEMORY

>>Any married man should forget his mistakes -- there's no use in two people

>>remembering the same thing.

>>

>>APPEARANCE

>>Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

>>Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

>>

>>PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

>>A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

>>A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

>>

>>DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

>>A woman has the last word in any argument.

>>Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

>>

>>COMPREHENSION

>>There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman: before marriage

>>and after marriage.

>>

>>HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

>>Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and

>>cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing

>>the same thing to them at funerals