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Those beautiful Darwin Awards...

  1. #1
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    Those beautiful Darwin Awards...


    (23 September 2002, Brazil) A farm keeper from S„o Paulo decided to remove a beehive from his orange tree. He didn't know exactly how to proceed, but he knew the hive should be burned, and he knew bees sting. So he protected his head with a plastic bag sealed tightly around his neck, grabbed a torch, and went off to fight the bees.
    His worried wife went to look for him a few hours later, and found him dead. However, it wasn't the bees that killed him. The plastic bag had protected him from smoke, stingers, and... oxygen! He had forgotten to put breathing holes in the bag.



    (2 August 2002, Kansas) Police said an Olathe man was struck and killed by a train after his vehicle broke down on Interstate 35. His attempts at repairing his car had failed, and he was calling for help when the train engineer spotted him standing on the tracks. The engineer said the man was holding a cell phone to one ear, and cupping his hand to the other ear to block the noise of the train.


    (January 2002, Croatia) A Croatian was killed while trying to open a hand grenade with a chainsaw. He wanted to retrieve the explosive to make firecrackers for the New Yearís holiday.



    there are a ton more... http://www.darwinawards.com

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  2. #2
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    LMAO.. one more...

    one more.. HA

    Rectum Nearly Killed'm
    2002
    (June 2000) As a nurse in the intensive care unit of a large medical center, I've had the opportunity to care for many potential recipients of the Darwin Award. The man in this story didnít lose his life, but lost his dignity and claim to common sense, among other injuries.
    At 3AM one morning, the charge nurse called to tell me to expect a patient from the ER who had just had an emergency bowel resection. Trying to stifle her laughter, she said the report nurse would call soon to fill me in on the details.

    My coworkers and I speculated about possible reasons someone would require emergency bowel surgery in the middle of the night. Finally, the phone rang, and we sat in rapt silence to take the report on this unfortunate soul.

    A 40-year-old white male came in complaining of abdominal pain and rectal bleeding. He claimed to be unaware of any reason for such symptoms. But during his examination, the physician discovered a coat hanger protruding from the patient's rectum.

    When questioned, the man admitted he had inflicted this injury upon himself. Earlier that night, while his wife was at work, he was "pleasuring himself" when he had an urge to push an uncooked egg into his anus. Panicked when he lost it "up there," he tried to fish it out with the crooked end of a coat hanger. But the coat hanger became snagged!

    He decided that maybe the vibration from a ride on his motorcycle would cause the whole mess to dislodge from his nether region. Finally, unable to stand the growing pain, he rode his motorcycle to the ER.

    The physician removed the coat hanger, and repaired his intestines.

    An hour later, his wife arrived. Minutes later, she stormed out of the room and demanded to be told what had happened. I told her she should ask her husband. She said he claimed that he didn't know, and that the medical staff wouldn't tell him anything. She was politely, but firmly, instructed to speak to the man's physician.

    Darwin Says: More common than you'd think.

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  3. #3
    aka Johnny Valve Stem need4speed's Avatar
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    Those beautiful Darwin Awards...

    Isn't it wonderful that we have people willing to take themselves out of the gene pool and also offer us some amusement at their sheer stupidity.

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    John
    LRRS\CCS #714
    2004 Duc 620 monster racebike
    89 EX500 racebike - sold
    98 Superhawk 996

    "To repeat what others have said, requires education; to challenge it, requires brains".


  4. #4
    ultrabuddy twrayinma's Avatar
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    Those beautiful Darwin Awards...

    that last one doesn't count... not only did he not die, but he's MARRIED, and can potentially pass on those stupid genes...

    curses, foiled again!
    -t

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    The only "intuitive" interface is the nipple.

  5. #5
    aka Johnny Valve Stem need4speed's Avatar
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    Those beautiful Darwin Awards...

    Originally posted by twrayinma
    that last one doesn't count... not only did he not die, but he's MARRIED, and can potentially pass on those stupid genes...

    curses, foiled again!
    -t
    Yes but just think of the future enjoyment his dim-witted offspring will bring.

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    John
    LRRS\CCS #714
    2004 Duc 620 monster racebike
    89 EX500 racebike - sold
    98 Superhawk 996

    "To repeat what others have said, requires education; to challenge it, requires brains".


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