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Joke: One 4 the Guys!

  1. #1
    Twin Addict Half Squid's Avatar
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    Talking Joke: One 4 the Guys!


    The time has finally come...


    Men strike back! ! ! ! ! !

    How many men does it take to open a beer?
    None. It should be opened when she brings it.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
    Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    Why do women have smaller feet than men?
    It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
    them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
    When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.."
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    How do you fix a woman's watch?
    You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Why do men fart more than women?
    Because women can't shut up long enough to
    build up the required pressure.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
    The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
    A woman who won't do what she's told
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    I married a Miss Right.
    I just didn't know her first name was Always.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
    a woman's sex drive by 90%.
    It's called a Wedding Cake.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Why do men die before their wives?
    They want to.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Women will never be equal to men until they can
    walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
    gut, and still think they are sexy.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
    Then God created Man and rested.
    Then God created Woman.
    Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.Boy ain't this the truth!

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    Rides: 13 Hyperstada, 09 SFV650, 97 CBR 900RR
    www.tailofthedragon.com
    RIP A.B. RIP BEET, I Ride in Leathers because I would rather sweat than Bleed...

  2. #2
    Grizzly Fuckin Adams dhuze's Avatar
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    Joke: One 4 the Guys!

    why are divorces expensive?


    because they are worth it.

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    You suck at life. Why don't you quit?

    My dad told me I could be anything I wanted when I grew up. So I became an Asshole.

  3. #3
    Littering and........
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    Joke: One 4 the Guys!

    What do thousands of battered women across the country have in common?





































    THEY JUST WONT LISTEN!!!!!!!!!!

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  4. #4
    IWOK Prez. bigred875's Avatar
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    Joke: One 4 the Guys!

    what's that useless skin around the vagina called?



    Woman

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    Quote Originally Posted by ThisBitch View Post
    From my experience, its the natural red heads (aka gingers) that have no soul--- I mean are crazy.

  5. #5
    IWOK Prez. bigred875's Avatar
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    Joke: One 4 the Guys!

    what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes...


    nuttin you already told the bitch twice...

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    Quote Originally Posted by ThisBitch View Post
    From my experience, its the natural red heads (aka gingers) that have no soul--- I mean are crazy.

  6. #6
    Littering and........
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    Joke: One 4 the Guys!

    Why do women fake orgasms?



































    Because they think men care

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  7. #7
    Grizzly Fuckin Adams dhuze's Avatar
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    Joke: One 4 the Guys!

    Originally posted by highsider
    What do thousands of battered women across the country have in common?




    THEY JUST WONT LISTEN!!!!!!!!!!
    Thousand of battered women? and all this time I've been eating mine plain

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    Last edited by dhuze; 01-06-05 at 07:54 PM.
    You suck at life. Why don't you quit?

    My dad told me I could be anything I wanted when I grew up. So I became an Asshole.

  8. #8
    Tie me up not down Jaynnus's Avatar
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    Joke: One 4 the Guys!

    Back at ya...

    Q.What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
    A. Shoot him again.

    Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
    A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose

    Q. Why do little boys whine?
    A. Because they're practicing to be men.

    Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A. One - he just holds it up there and waits
    for the world to revolve around him. OR Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part

    Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
    A. Trustworthy.

    Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
    A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

    Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
    A.Because no one will stop and ask directions

    Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
    A. To stop the snoring before it starts.

    Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
    A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

    Q: What is the difference between men and women...
    A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need

    Q: How does a man keep his youth?
    A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.

    Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
    A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

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    MSF RiderCoach
    MSF Dirt Bike School Coach


    Quote Originally Posted by 5TOEZ View Post
    #5 Hangout w/Jaynnus................
    she rides like the wind
    & smells good too.
    PKism: you don't count, you're just a guy with indoor plumbing

  9. #9
    Lifer SEVENSGT's Avatar
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    Joke: One 4 the Guys!

    A man wearing a mask bursts into a sperm bank with a shot gun. "Open the safe!" he yells at the girl behind the counter.
    >
    > "But we're not a real bank" replies the girl. "This is a sperm bank, we don't hold money".
    >
    > "Don't argue just open the safe or I'll blow your head off!" She obliges and opens the safe door.
    >
    > "Take one of the bottles and drink it!"
    >
    > "But it's full of sperm" the girl replies nervously.
    >
    > "Don't argue, just drink it" he says.
    >
    > She prys off the cap and gulps it down.
    >
    > "Take out another one and drink it too!" he demands.
    >
    > The girl drinks another one.
    >
    > Suddenly the guy pulls off the mask and to the girl's amazement it's her husband...
    >
    > "Not that damn difficult, is it?" he says.

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  10. #10
    IWOK Prez. bigred875's Avatar
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    Joke: One 4 the Guys!


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    Quote Originally Posted by ThisBitch View Post
    From my experience, its the natural red heads (aka gingers) that have no soul--- I mean are crazy.

  11. #11
    Just Registered xvrider's Avatar
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    Joke: One 4 the Guys!

    Back at ya...

    Q.What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
    A. Shoot him again.

    Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
    A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose

    Q. Why do little boys whine?



    Thanks Jaynnus...I knew we could give it back to them...Just one more....

    What do men and parking spaces have in common?

    The good ones are already taken and the rest are handicapped!!!


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    " It's never too late to be what you might have been." George Eliot

  12. #12
    Tie me up not down Jaynnus's Avatar
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    Joke: One 4 the Guys!

    Originally posted by vrginrider


    What do men and parking spaces have in common?

    The good ones are already taken and the rest are handicapped!!!

    Greeeaaatttt....now thats encouraging

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    MSF RiderCoach
    MSF Dirt Bike School Coach


    Quote Originally Posted by 5TOEZ View Post
    #5 Hangout w/Jaynnus................
    she rides like the wind
    & smells good too.
    PKism: you don't count, you're just a guy with indoor plumbing

  13. #13
    Grizzly Fuckin Adams dhuze's Avatar
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    Joke: One 4 the Guys!

    how do you give a woman an orgasm?





    who cares

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    You suck at life. Why don't you quit?

    My dad told me I could be anything I wanted when I grew up. So I became an Asshole.

  14. #14
    Lifer
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    Joke: One 4 the Guys!

    Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?


    A: 45 pounds.

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    SSearchVT

    For every action there is an equal but opposite reaction - and sometimes a scar...

  15. #15
    Lifer GMAN226's Avatar
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    Joke: One 4 the Guys!

    55

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    Gerard

  16. #16
    Grizzly Fuckin Adams dhuze's Avatar
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    Joke: One 4 the Guys!

    whats the definition of making love?









    what your girlfriend does while you fuck her

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    You suck at life. Why don't you quit?

    My dad told me I could be anything I wanted when I grew up. So I became an Asshole.

  17. #17
    Kosher Assassin Stoneman's Avatar
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    Joke: One 4 the Guys!

    What's the difference between a pussy and a cunt?




































    A pussy is warm, wet and wonderful...





















    A cunt is the thing carrying it...

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    Did you grit your teeth and try to look like Clint Fuckin' Eastwood?
    Or did you lisp it all hangfisted like a fuckin' flower?

  18. #18
    Kosher Assassin Stoneman's Avatar
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    Joke: One 4 the Guys!

    How many men does it take to mop the floor?



























    None. It's a woman's job...

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    Did you grit your teeth and try to look like Clint Fuckin' Eastwood?
    Or did you lisp it all hangfisted like a fuckin' flower?

  19. #19
    Kosher Assassin Stoneman's Avatar
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    Joke: One 4 the Guys!

    How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?































    One. She just holds the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around her...

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    Did you grit your teeth and try to look like Clint Fuckin' Eastwood?
    Or did you lisp it all hangfisted like a fuckin' flower?

  20. #20
    Lifer ZX-12R's Avatar
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    Joke: One 4 the Guys!

    Q: What is a woman doing when she is staring at a blank piece of paper?











    A: Reading Her Rights!

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  21. #21
    Lifer ZX-12R's Avatar
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    Joke: One 4 the Guys!

    Q: How do you make four old ladies say "FUCK!"?















    A: Get a fifth one to yell "BINGO!"

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  22. #22
    Lifer ZX-12R's Avatar
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    Joke: One 4 the Guys!

    Q: Why do woman get their belly buttons pierced?












    A: So they have a place to hang an air freshener!

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  23. #23
    Lifer
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    Joke: One 4 the Guys!

    What's the insensitive piece of flesh around the penis?




    That would be ME!

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    It's all water under the bridge, and we do enter the next round-robin. Am I wrong?

  24. #24
    Lifer SEVENSGT's Avatar
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    Talking Joke: One 4 the Guys!

    A man walking along a California beach was deep in
    >
    > prayer. Suddenly the clouded sky above his head parted and,
    >
    > in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have
    >
    > TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant
    >
    > you one wish."
    >
    >
    >
    > The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive
    >
    > over anytime I want."
    >
    >
    >
    > The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic.
    >
    > Think of the enormous
    >
    > challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports
    >
    > required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The
    >
    > concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly
    >
    > exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it
    >
    > is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly
    >
    > things.
    >
    > Take a little more time and think of something that
    >
    > would honor and glorify me."
    >
    >
    >
    > The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he
    >
    > said, "Lord, I wish
    >
    > that I could understand my wife. I want to know how
    >
    > she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives
    >
    > me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means
    >
    > when she says 'nothing's wrong,' and how I can make a
    >
    > woman truly happy."
    >
    >
    >
    > The Lord replied,
    >
    > "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

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  25. #25
    Just Registered beet's Avatar
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    why did the biker trade his oldlady for a out house ?

    ?



















    cause the hole was smaller & smelled better

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    www.bostonmoto.com

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    Heres a condom. I figured since youre acting like a dick, you should dress like one too.

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