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A joke for you ladies......

  1. #1
    Littering and........
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    A joke for you ladies......


    THE LOTTERY



    A woman gets home, screeches her car into the driveway, runs into the
    house, slams the door and shouts at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack
    your bags. I won the lottery!" The husband says, 'Oh my God! What should I
    pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"




    "Doesn't matter," she says. "Just get the fuck out."

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  2. #2
    Tie me up not down Jaynnus's Avatar
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    A joke for you ladies......


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    MSF RiderCoach
    MSF Dirt Bike School Coach


    Quote Originally Posted by 5TOEZ View Post
    #5 Hangout w/Jaynnus................
    she rides like the wind
    & smells good too.
    PKism: you don't count, you're just a guy with indoor plumbing

  3. #3
    Lifer bentbryan's Avatar
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    A joke for you ladies......

    How come the military won't allow women to be paratroopers?




























































    Because they whistle on the way down!

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    2003 Yamaha R6
    1999 Yamaha YZ400



  4. #4
    Littering and........
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    And just to keep things even....


    > A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
    > A half-gallon of 2% milk,
    > A carton of eggs,
    > A quart of orange juice,
    > A head of romaine lettuce,
    > A 2 lb. can of coffee,
    > And a 1 lb. package of bacon.
    > As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a
    > drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of
    > the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk
    > calmly stated, "You must be single."
    > The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued
    > by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at
    > her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her
    > selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

    > Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're
    > absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
    > The drunk replied, " 'Cause you're ugly."

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  5. #5
    Tie me up not down Jaynnus's Avatar
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    A joke for you ladies......

    What can a bird do that a man can't?



















    Whistle out his pecker!

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    MSF RiderCoach
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    Quote Originally Posted by 5TOEZ View Post
    #5 Hangout w/Jaynnus................
    she rides like the wind
    & smells good too.
    PKism: you don't count, you're just a guy with indoor plumbing

  6. #6
    Lifer SEVENSGT's Avatar
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    this one's bad

    What do a hundred thousand abused women have in common



















































    thay don'y know when to shut up

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  7. #7
    Tie me up not down Jaynnus's Avatar
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    A joke for you ladies......

    What is the first thing a battered woman does when she gets out of the hospital?





















    The dishes, if she knows what is good for her!!

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    MSF RiderCoach
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    Quote Originally Posted by 5TOEZ View Post
    #5 Hangout w/Jaynnus................
    she rides like the wind
    & smells good too.
    PKism: you don't count, you're just a guy with indoor plumbing

  8. #8
    Littering and........
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    A joke for you ladies......

    What is the first thing your wife does when she returns from the Battered Women's Shelter?









































    The dishes if the bitch knows whats good for her.

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  9. #9
    Littering and........
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    A joke for you ladies......

    Dammit Jaynnus.



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  10. #10
    Tie me up not down Jaynnus's Avatar
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    A joke for you ladies......

    Originally posted by highsider
    Dammit Jaynnus.


    Ha ha....1 point for me!!

    ( I think you told it better though!)

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    MSF RiderCoach
    MSF Dirt Bike School Coach


    Quote Originally Posted by 5TOEZ View Post
    #5 Hangout w/Jaynnus................
    she rides like the wind
    & smells good too.
    PKism: you don't count, you're just a guy with indoor plumbing

  11. #11
    Lifer bentbryan's Avatar
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    A joke for you ladies......

    What do you say to a women with 2 black eyes?
















































































    Nothing. You've already told her twice!

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    2003 Yamaha R6
    1999 Yamaha YZ400



  12. #12
    Lifer SEVENSGT's Avatar
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    A joke for you ladies......

    ouch

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  13. #13
    Super Moderator OreoGaborio's Avatar
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    A joke for you ladies......

    suppose i'll add Dave Atelle's twist to those black eye jokes...

    So i saw this woman on the subway wearing sunglasses hiding a black eye, and i knew that every man on the train was thinking the saaaame thing..... "pfft... well she doesn't listen"

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    -Pete LRRS/CCS #82 - ECK Racing, TonysTrackDays
    GMD Computrack Boston | Pine Motorparts/PBE Specialists | Phoenix Graphics | Woodcraft | MTag-Pirelli | OnTrack Media

    The Garage: '03 Tuono | '06 SV650

  14. #14
    Super Moderator OreoGaborio's Avatar
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    A joke for you ladies......

    A senior citizen in Florida bought a brand new Mercedes convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head.

    "This is great," he thought as he roared down I-75. He pushed the pedal to the metal even more. Then he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a highway patrol trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren
    blaring.

    "I can get away from him with no problem," thought the man and he tromped it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph. Then 110, 120 mph!

    Then he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing." He pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up with him. The trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes and walked up to the man.

    "Sir," he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

    The man looked at the trooper and said,
    "Years ago my wife ran off with a Florida state trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back." The trooper replied,
    "Sir, have a nice day."

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    -Pete LRRS/CCS #82 - ECK Racing, TonysTrackDays
    GMD Computrack Boston | Pine Motorparts/PBE Specialists | Phoenix Graphics | Woodcraft | MTag-Pirelli | OnTrack Media

    The Garage: '03 Tuono | '06 SV650

  15. #15
    Super Moderator OreoGaborio's Avatar
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    A joke for you ladies......

    oh shit... i found some BAAAAAD ONES

    What is a woman doing when she is staring at a blank piece of paper?


















































    Reading Her Rights

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    -Pete LRRS/CCS #82 - ECK Racing, TonysTrackDays
    GMD Computrack Boston | Pine Motorparts/PBE Specialists | Phoenix Graphics | Woodcraft | MTag-Pirelli | OnTrack Media

    The Garage: '03 Tuono | '06 SV650

  16. #16
    Super Moderator OreoGaborio's Avatar
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    A joke for you ladies......

    A Man comes home and sits down on the couch, He then asks his wife to get him a beer. She replies " I was at a Womens Lib. convention and they said I dont have to get it if I dont want." So the man gets his own beer.

    Then He says, "Honey whats for dinner?" She replies once again "I was at a Womens Lib. convention and they said I dont have to make you dinner when you are hungry." Fine He says and makes dinner himself.

    The Man then says fine you won't see me for 2 weeks!!!!
























































    About two weeks later she was able to open one eye!

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    -Pete LRRS/CCS #82 - ECK Racing, TonysTrackDays
    GMD Computrack Boston | Pine Motorparts/PBE Specialists | Phoenix Graphics | Woodcraft | MTag-Pirelli | OnTrack Media

    The Garage: '03 Tuono | '06 SV650

  17. #17
    Super Moderator OreoGaborio's Avatar
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    A joke for you ladies......

    A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her.
    The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare, and walked directly toward him. Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20 on one condition."
    Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was.
    The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words. The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket, and slowly counted out four $5 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand.
    He looked deeply into her eyes, and slowly, meaningfully said:







































    "Paint

































    my
































    house."

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    -Pete LRRS/CCS #82 - ECK Racing, TonysTrackDays
    GMD Computrack Boston | Pine Motorparts/PBE Specialists | Phoenix Graphics | Woodcraft | MTag-Pirelli | OnTrack Media

    The Garage: '03 Tuono | '06 SV650

  18. #18
    Super Moderator OreoGaborio's Avatar
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    A joke for you ladies......

    i like this one....


    A man is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend stops him and asks, "Hey Bob! Whatcha get the case of beer for?"
    "I got it for my wife," answers Bob.
    "Oh!" exclaimed his friend, "Good trade. "

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    -Pete LRRS/CCS #82 - ECK Racing, TonysTrackDays
    GMD Computrack Boston | Pine Motorparts/PBE Specialists | Phoenix Graphics | Woodcraft | MTag-Pirelli | OnTrack Media

    The Garage: '03 Tuono | '06 SV650

  19. #19
    Super Moderator OreoGaborio's Avatar
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    A joke for you ladies......

    Q. Why haven't they sent any women to the moon?
















































































    A. Because it doesn't need cleaning yet

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    -Pete LRRS/CCS #82 - ECK Racing, TonysTrackDays
    GMD Computrack Boston | Pine Motorparts/PBE Specialists | Phoenix Graphics | Woodcraft | MTag-Pirelli | OnTrack Media

    The Garage: '03 Tuono | '06 SV650

  20. #20
    Super Moderator OreoGaborio's Avatar
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    A joke for you ladies......

    How many men does it take to open a beer?











    None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.

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    -Pete LRRS/CCS #82 - ECK Racing, TonysTrackDays
    GMD Computrack Boston | Pine Motorparts/PBE Specialists | Phoenix Graphics | Woodcraft | MTag-Pirelli | OnTrack Media

    The Garage: '03 Tuono | '06 SV650

  21. #21
    Super Moderator OreoGaborio's Avatar
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    A joke for you ladies......



    A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails. Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails, he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself, "Wouldn't it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me?" He went back to gathering the snails. All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They started talking and she invited him back to her place. They ended up spending the night together. At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh no!!! My wife's dinner party!!!" He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door. He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he's been all this time. He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said...












    "Come on guys, we're almost there!!"

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    -Pete LRRS/CCS #82 - ECK Racing, TonysTrackDays
    GMD Computrack Boston | Pine Motorparts/PBE Specialists | Phoenix Graphics | Woodcraft | MTag-Pirelli | OnTrack Media

    The Garage: '03 Tuono | '06 SV650

  22. #22
    Member Mad Max's Avatar
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    A joke for you ladies......

    Why do women generally have shorter feet than men?


















    Its an evolutionary trait that allows them to get closer to the kitchen sink

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    Christopher Aho

  23. #23
    Member Mad Max's Avatar
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    A joke for you ladies......

    what do you call that flabby piece of skin around the vagina?




















    a woman

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    Christopher Aho

  24. #24
    Kosher Assassin Stoneman's Avatar
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    A joke for you ladies......

    What's the difference between your new job and your new wife?





    You're new job'll still suck after a coupla months!

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    Did you grit your teeth and try to look like Clint Fuckin' Eastwood?
    Or did you lisp it all hangfisted like a fuckin' flower?

  25. #25
    Me? Sarchastic?? Nooooo!! FazerChic's Avatar
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    A joke for you ladies......

    2 can play at this game...!

    How do men exercise on the beach?

































    By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

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    My shit:

    2004 Yamaha FZ6 (Naked....mmmmmmm) (FOR SALE!!!! CONTACT ME FOR INFO!)
    2004 Mini Cooper - Deal's Gap tested and approved

    Guys on sportbikes are so hot....until they take their helmet off. Just leave the damn thing on already!

    Beware the counterfeit Mini!

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