Results 1 to 2 of 2

A few jokes to end the day

  1. #1
    aka Johnny Valve Stem need4speed's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Brookfield,CT
    Posts
    2,245

    A few jokes to end the day

    Venanzio and Lorenzo were sitting on a bench in a New York park.

    "Hey," said Venanzio, "do you likea biga fat woman with a longa straggley hair?"

    "No, I'ma no likea dat" replied Lorenzo.

    "Den, you likea da woman with a garlic comin' from her mouth alla da time?" inquired Venanzio.

    "Nope, I'ma no like dat kinda either!" said Lorenzo.

    "You musta likea da woman with a big, thicka hips anna varicose veins, no?" asks Venanzio.

    "Notta me!" answered Lorenzo.

    "Den whya you keepa screwin' my wife?" Venanzio asked.

    --------------------------------------
    A man and a woman were waiting in line at the hospital donation center.

    Man: "What are you doing here today?"

    Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me $5 for it."

    Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25."

    The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways. Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the same line.

    Man: "Hi there! Here to donate blood again?"

    Woman: (nodding her head with mouth closed) "Unh unh."

    ----------------------------------------

    A man goes into a restaurant, sits down at a table and, when the
    waitress asks for his order, he says "I want a quickie"

    She slaps his face and asks, "Now would you please give me your order?"

    Again, he says, " I want a quickie"

    She slaps him again and says, " I'll give you one last chance, what do
    you want?"

    Someone from the next table leans over and says quietly to the man,
    "I think it's pronounced QUICHE."
    ------------------------------

    A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double
    martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his
    shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini.
    After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and
    orders the bartender to bring another double martini.
    The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long -
    but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you
    order a refill."
    The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts
    to look good, I know it's time to go home."
    ----------------------------

    A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was
    severely burned.
    The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body
    because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his
    own skin.
    However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would
    have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would
    tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor
    also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
    After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new
    beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends
    and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!
    One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion
    at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything
    you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."
    "My darling," he replied, "think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need
    every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."

    0 Not allowed!
    John
    LRRS\CCS #714
    2004 Duc 620 monster racebike
    89 EX500 racebike - sold
    98 Superhawk 996

    "To repeat what others have said, requires education; to challenge it, requires brains".


  2. #2
    Guilt a USELESS emotion SEVENSGT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Warwick, RI
    Age
    43
    Posts
    3,217

    A few jokes to end the day

    She wannted to donate some blood.............BAWWWAWAWHAHAHAHA

    0 Not allowed!

Similar Threads

  1. Fresh new jokes ;)
    By MissTwisties in forum Off-Topic
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 09-15-06, 06:45 AM
  2. Jokes... probably all old, but so what...?
    By Uncle Snake in forum Off-Topic
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 01-21-06, 02:04 AM
  3. Coupla bad jokes
    By SEVENSGT in forum Off-Topic
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 08-22-05, 08:01 AM
  4. I Don't Usually Post Jokes...
    By Stoneman in forum Off-Topic
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-30-05, 11:00 AM
  5. The McGreevey Jokes Are Here
    By need4speed in forum Off-Topic
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-20-04, 03:36 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •