lists I've found

[GadgettR1]

What not to say to a cop:
1. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.
3. Aren’t you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must’ve been doin’ about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer?
7. You’re not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That’s terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That’s how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says “Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?” You probably shouldn’t respond with, “Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?”

TOP TEN REASONS HARLEY RIDERS MAY NOT WAVE BACK
10...Afraid it will invalidate warranty.
9...Leather and studs make it too hard to raise arm.
8...Refuses to wave to anyone whose bike is already paid for.
7...Afraid to let go of handlebars because they might vibrate off.
6...Rushing wind would blow scabs off the new tattoos.
5...Angry because they just took out second mortgage to pay luxury tax on new Harley.
4...Just discovered the fine print in owner's manual and realized H-D is partially owned by those rice burner manufacturers.
3...Can't tell if other riders are waving or just reaching to cover their ears like everyone else.
2...Remembers the last time that a Harley rider waved back, and he impaled his hand on his spiked helmet.

...and the Number One reason Harley riders don't wave back:

1...They're jealous that, after spending $30,000, they still don't own a Gold Wing!

[GadgettR1]

TOP TEN REASONS GOLD WING RIDERS MAY NOT WAVE BACK

10...Wasn't sure whether other rider was waving or making an obscene gesture.
9...Afraid they might get frostbite if hand is removed from heated grip.
8...Has arthritis and the past 400 miles have made it difficult to raise arm.
7...Reflection from etched windshield momentarily blinded him.
6...The on-board expresso machine just finished brewing.
5...Was actually asleep when other rider waved.
4...Was in a three-way conference call with his stock broker and his accessories dealer.
3...Couldn't find the "auto wave back" button on dashboard.
2...Was simultaneously adjusting the air suspension, seat height, programmable CD player, seat temperature and satellite navigation
system.

...and the Number One reason Gold Wing riders don't wave back:

1...They couldn't see through the glare from the chromed dash accents.

sent by Beemer

TOP TEN REASONS SPORTBIKE RIDERS WAVE:

10... Speed trap is ahead.
9... Too bored.
8... When doing over 100miles per hour - SHOW OFF!
7... Cool bike! Where do you insert the batteries?
6... Sorry, I thought you wanted to race.
5... Sorry, I thought you could ride.
4... Hi, ladies!
3... Going back from point A and waving to all the bikes they passed on the way to point A.
2... See ya!

...and the Number One reason Sportbike riders wave back:

1...That wasn't a wave, you, naive idiot! (finger language)

[Stoneman]

THE NUMBER ONE THING NOT TO SAY TO A COP: Back off Skippy, I'm packin'!!!