Naughty Fairy Tales #1 Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the
woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf
jumped out from behind a tree. "I'm going to screw your brains out."
To
that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached
into her picnic basket and pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at
him
and said, "No you're not. You're going to eat
me, just like it says in the book."

Naughty Fairy Tales #2 Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would
sometimes complain about splinters whenever
they had sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he
could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little
sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily
through
town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"

Naughty Fairy Tales #3 Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the
woods
so she ran up behind him, knocked him
flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, "Lie to me, Lie to
me!!"

Naughty Fairy Tales #4 Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her
wicked
stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits
crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promises to
provide
Cinderella with everything she needs to go
to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a
diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's the second?"
"You must be home by 2a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn
into a
pumpkin." Cinderella agrees to be home by 2a.m.
The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up.
Finally, at 5a.m.,Cinderella shows up, looking
love-struck and very satisfied. "Where have you been?" demands the
fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm was
supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago." "I met a prince,
Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."
"I know of no prince with that kind of power. Tell me his name." "I
can't remember, exactly... Peter Peter, something or other...."

Naughty Fairy Tales #5: Mickey Mouse and Mini Mouse were in divorce
court
and the judge said to Mickey, "You say
here that your wife is crazy." Mickey replied, "No I didn't. I said
she is fuckin' Goofy