SCREW ups of the year

[GadgettR1]

SCREW-UPS OF THE YEAR:

* 1.When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its intended victim
during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did
something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried
the trigger again. This time it worked.

* 2.The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
machine, and , after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its
men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger.
The chef's claim was approved.

* 3.A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during
a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken
the space. Understandably, he shot her.

* 4.After shopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from
Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the
driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free
ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and
prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
(Damn, I like that one....)

* 5.An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from
serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he
received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see
how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit. Sounds
like s southern boy to me!

* 6.A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an
examination to determine the cause of her daughters swollen abdomen.

It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, "Your daughter is pregnant."

The mother turned red with fury and she argued with the doctor that her
daughter was a good girl and would never compromise her reputation by having
sex with a boy. The doctor faced the window and silently watched the
horizon.

The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Aren't
you paying attention to me?"

"Yes, of course I am paying attention, ma'am. It's just that the last time
this happened, a star appeared in the East, and three wise men came. And I
was hoping that they would show up again."

[Stoneman]

Those are awesome!!!

[bemused]

most excellent!