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Terrible, terrible joke.......

  1. #401
    Senior Member myzx6's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......


    In my whole life, I've never been wrong, although I did think I was once but, I was mistaken!!

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  2. #402
    Member MUZ720's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    Ok, what's the difference between a battery and a women? A Battery has a Positive side..
    What do you get when you cross a pickle and a deer? A Dildo...

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  3. #403
    Hand Bra Designer Garandman's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

    A fish.

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  4. #404
    Hand Bra Designer Garandman's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    What do you call a nun riding in a car?

    Virgin Mobile.

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    Last edited by Garandman; 07-28-17 at 04:22 PM.
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  5. #405
    Lifer PhilB's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    Quote Originally Posted by Garandman View Post
    How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

    A fish.
    That's one of my favorite jokes ever.

    Alternate answer: Three. One to ride the giraffe, and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.

    PhilB

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    "A free man must be able to endure it when his fellow men act and live otherwise than he considers proper." -- Ludwig von Mises
    1993 Ducati Monster M900; 262,000 miles so far

  6. #406
    Dictionary quoting knob stoinkythepig's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    What's blue and smells just like red paint?

    Blue paint.

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  7. #407
    Hand Bra Designer Garandman's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    Yesterday my son told me, "I have the heart of a Lion: and a lifetime ban at the Franklin Park Zoo."

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  8. #408
    Super Moderator OreoGaborio's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    When does a joke become a dad joke?

    When the punchline becomes apparent.

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    -Pete LRRS/CCS #82 - ECK Racing, TonysTrackDays, Ironstone Ventures
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  9. #409
    Hand Bra Designer Garandman's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    10 young Jihadis died yesterday when the IED's they were building exploded prematurely.

    Kids blow up so fast these days.....

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  10. #410
    Hand Bra Designer Garandman's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    Who is the best smelling actor?


    Kevin Bacon.

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  11. #411
    Hand Bra Designer Garandman's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    What do you call a fight between a Mexican and a Priest?

    "Alien versus Predator."

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  12. #412
    Backwoods lobster boy number9's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    Quote Originally Posted by stoinkythepig View Post
    What's blue and smells just like red paint?

    Blue paint.
    What's brown and sticky?

    A stick.

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    '00 Honda VFR 800, '01 Subaru Outback, '03 Porsche 911, '05 KTM 300 EXC, '08 Ducati Hypermotard 1100S, '14 Honda CRF 250R

  13. #413
    Satans Donkey Uncle Snake's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    Q. What's red and has two legs?




    A. Half a cat!

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    Jake
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  14. #414
    Designing life since 1985 RyanNicholson's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    I, for one, like Roman Numerals...

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  15. #415
    Hand Bra Designer Garandman's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    What is Helen Keller's favorite color?

    Velcro.

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  16. #416
    Lifer ZX-12R's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......


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    "...i would seriously bite somebody right in the balls..." -bump909

  17. #417
    Hand Bra Designer Garandman's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    How do you get rid of the inner child in me?

    Miscarriage.

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    Last edited by Garandman; 06-28-17 at 11:46 PM.
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  18. #418
    Kosher Assassin Stoneman's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    Quote Originally Posted by Garandman View Post
    What is Helen Keller's favorite color?

    Velcro.
    Why did Helen Keller use two hands to masturbate?

    One to do it, the other to moan...

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    Did you grit your teeth and try to look like Clint Fuckin' Eastwood?
    Or did you lisp it all hangfisted like a fuckin' flower?

  19. #419
    Kosher Assassin Stoneman's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    Two, but I have no idea how they get in there...

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    Did you grit your teeth and try to look like Clint Fuckin' Eastwood?
    Or did you lisp it all hangfisted like a fuckin' flower?

  20. #420
    Hand Bra Designer Garandman's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light has to really, really want to change.

    How many men does it take to change Chuck Norris' light bulbs? None. Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark.

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  21. #421
    Lifer Imbeek's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    (sorry if a repeat)

    How many Yankee fans does it take to replace a light bulb?

    None; they just talk about how good the old one was

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  22. #422
    Grizzly Fuckin Adams dhuze's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    A Boy walks in on his parents going at it.

    His Father turns around, smiles, and winks.

    A Few minutes later, a horrible noise arises from down the hall. Father dismounts, runs down the hall, only to find the boy with Grandmother bent over the bed.

    "What the hell do you think you're doing?" says Father.

    The Boy smiles, winks, and says "Not so funny when it's your mom, is it?"

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    You suck at life. Why don't you quit?

    My dad told me I could be anything I wanted when I grew up. So I became an Asshole.

  23. #423

    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......


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  24. #424
    Backwoods lobster boy number9's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    Did I ever tell you guys about the time I paid to have sex with twin hookers? It was the greatest day of my life. At first it wasn't exactly easy to tell which was which, but Destiny had slightly blonder hair and George had a mustache.

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    '00 Honda VFR 800, '01 Subaru Outback, '03 Porsche 911, '05 KTM 300 EXC, '08 Ducati Hypermotard 1100S, '14 Honda CRF 250R

  25. #425
    Member martia's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    What did the Buck call his Wife?


    DEER

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