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Terrible, terrible joke.......

  1. #426
    Designing life since 1985 RyanNicholson's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    So I saw my dwarf neighbor at a bus stop on my way home.

    "Jump in, I'll give you a lift!" I shouted to him.

    "FUCK OFF" He replied.

    "What an ungrateful little cunt" I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued walking.

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  2. #427
    Hand Bra Designer Garandman's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    A man walks into a bar. he sits down in front of a bowl of peanuts and orders a drink. He starts snacking on the nuts as he waits for his drink. All of a sudden he hears a voice say "you're handsome".

    The man looks around and there's no one around, but he sits there and goes back to eating the peanuts and all of a sudden he hears "nice facial hair," and "I really like what you've done with the mustache." He looks around, strokes his beard, doesn't know where it's coming from, has another drink, and hears, "I like your shoes." Looks at his shoes and keeps looking around for the voice.

    The bartender comes up with the drink the man ordered and the man asks, "This may be weird, but there is someone around here saying nice things to me... is it you, man?" and the bartender says, "No, it's the peanuts; they are complimentary"

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    WR250R | TW200 | Tiger 1050 ABS | CRF100F | R90/6

    "The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function." F. Scott

  3. #428
    Hand Bra Designer Garandman's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    I just tried to kill a Cockroach with Axe Body Spray.

    Now he says his name is Brett and won't shut up about crossfit.

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    WR250R | TW200 | Tiger 1050 ABS | CRF100F | R90/6

    "The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function." F. Scott

  4. #429
    Lifer Falko's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    Quote Originally Posted by Garandman View Post
    I just tried to kill a Cockroach with Axe Body Spray.

    Now he says his name is Brett and won't shut up about crossfit.
    grew a beard too I bet...

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    Dad's Dream: Earn enough money to live the life that his wife and kids do.

  5. #430
    Giggity Giggity Goooooooo JohnnyV's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    Genie: I SHALL GRANT YOU 3 WISHES!!
    Steve: I want to be Rich!!
    Genie: Done. What's your second wish?
    Rich: I want lots of money





    - - - Updated - - -

    A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of 3. He says "uno, dos..." poof. He disappeared without a tres.

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  6. #431
    Where is my fast? GixerJockey's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    What's brown and sticky...?



    A stick

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  7. #432
    Backwoods lobster boy number9's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    Quote Originally Posted by GixerJockey View Post
    What's brown and sticky...?



    A stick
    What's green and sticky? Grass. I lied about the sticky.

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    '00 Honda VFR 800, '01 Subaru Outback, '03 Porsche 911, '05 KTM 300 EXC, '08 Ducati Hypermotard 1100S, '14 Honda CRF 250R

  8. #433
    Designing life since 1985 RyanNicholson's Avatar
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    Re: Terrible, terrible joke.......

    I was recently offered a night of sex with a 25 year old promotional model in exchange of promoting a cleaning product online. Of course, I said no, due to my strong morals. Morals which are almost as strong as AJAX... the super strong kitchen cleaner now available in lemon scent.

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