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Just when you think the world is getting a little smarter...

  1. #1
    Lifer oreo_n2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Amherst, NH

    Just when you think the world is getting a little smarter...

    Idiot # 1 I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
    toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in
    very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I
    quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be
    no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at
    the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her
    daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her
    that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
    Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

    Idiot # 2 Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield
    decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful
    in getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float
    on the river, a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised
    them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency
    locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no
    longer employed at Boeing. Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet;
    the paint might run.

    Idiot # 3 - A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a
    downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a
    stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line,
    waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone
    had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached
    the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the
    street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed
    his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his
    spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbour, told
    him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on
    a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out
    a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking
    omewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few
    minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. Don't
    bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

    Idiot # 4 A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap
    that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
    received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead
    of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several
    days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another
    picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
    Another sign (though this guy might be onto something worth thinking

    Idiot # 5 Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and
    demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put
    the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted
    behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the
    bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe
    you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused
    to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the
    robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the
    clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact
    over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the
    store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave
    the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They
    arrested the robber two hours later. Remind me to have more signs
    printed up. Give this guy his!

    Idiot # 6 A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously
    waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his
    partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't
    need a sign; he probably figured it out himself.

    Idiot # 7 Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He
    decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store
    window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and
    heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back
    and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems
    the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was
    caught on videotape. Oh, that smarts. Give him his sign!

    Idiot # 8 Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man
    walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A.M., flashed
    a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
    couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man
    ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
    breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. (Please note that these
    people are allowed to vote!)

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!
    Brent LRRS #772
    2006 KTM 560 SMR

  2. #2
    ultrabuddy twrayinma's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002

    Just when you think the world is getting a little smarter...



    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!
    The only "intuitive" interface is the nipple.

  3. #3

    Just when you think the world is getting a little smarter...

    Thanks for providing me with some entertainment, I needed that

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!

  4. #4
    Lifer GadgettR1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    New Bedford, Ma

    Just when you think the world is getting a little smarter...

    Now if only the asshole who stole my powerwasher and chainsaw did something that stupid! Like perhaps trying to pet my Rotty...lol

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!
    99 R1 with BRR front among other things
    01 WR426

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