2
Step 1 find some boots.
Step 2 strap em up and walk around the house, when this doesn't work go to step 3.
Step 3 wait until the wife isn't looking and climb in the hot tub set at 104*.
Step 4 simmer for 30 minutes.
Step 5 go back in the house and sit on the couch and watch a movie with your boots on a towel.
Step 6 throw out the stained towel before the wife sees it.
repeat steps 3 through 6 until you get the desired results.