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Due to ongoing confusion, I felt it was time to address the important matter of properly breaking the law while motorcycling. It is imperative that this guide be adhered to explicitly. Lack of compliance will result in, but not limited to:
1. Being called a squid.
2. Accusations of riding a stolen motorcycle.
3. Being mistaken for a “thug.”
4. Giving motorcyclists a bad name.
5. Someone saying you’re wrong on the internet.
Please observe the following protocol:
1. Be a heterosexual white male.
2. Work hard in school and get into a good college to earn a sensible degree. You’ll want to maximize your income while minimizing your debt.
3. Land high paying job based on a recommendation from your parent’s professional network and become respected by your peers.
4. Marry first woman who touched your penis, your options will be limited here. It helps if the penis touching was nonconsensual.
5. Purchase house on a cul de sac in a super vanilla sounding suburb like Westwood or Scituate. Don’t forget to landscape regularly, your neighbors are watching.
6. Produce two offspring before people begin questioning your sexuality.
7. Purchase expensive European motorcycle, $15,000 should do it to begin with.
8. Purchase a nice two piece Aerostitch suit and folding face helmet with comms and nav.
9. Secretly hate your wife all while privately questioning your sexuality.
When you have successfully worked through this protocol, the world is your oyster. Triple the speed limit on back country roads? Sure! Loft whoolies through your neighborhood? It’s just George taking his Ducati for a stroll! Strap a dead hooker over your Givi top case? No worries, you’re one of the “good guys!” Don’t ever let anyone forget; you pulled yourself up by the bootstraps and you’ve paid your dues.
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99 + 02 SV650 ex-race - 91 FJ1200 street - 03 KDX220R woods - 12 WR450F motard/ice
Originally Posted by jwm2k3
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