Craigslist Translation Guide

[klp]

Like many here I spend a lot of time on CL and would like to share my accrued wisdom. Please feel free to add on and fix what I may have misinterpreted.

"Runs great" – runs

"Fresh top end" – someone put a piston in this thing

"Oil changed every ride" – right

"Tons of compression" – I never checked it

"Well maintained" – washed once

"Vintage" – I want more than it is worth

"No Price Listed" – I want more than it is worth

"Really nice shape" – nothing has fallen off yet

"Rare" – see vintage

"All Caps" – the last time I typed was on a typewriter in 76

"Custom" – really ugly – used to be a good looking bike

"Ran great last season" – your turn to get it going

"Blurry/dark photos" - you don't want to buy this

[slowkermit]

"This bike rips" - I beat the shit outta the thing in front of my "boyz" every chance I get.

[tsorfas]

"Never abused / adult ridden" - burnouts in every stop light and revving it to the limiter for no reason

- - - Updated - - -

"Selling because I am moving in the city" - I bought this piece of shit and can't afford to fix it. Mom/dad/wife didn't approve this purchase

[nhbubba]

"Priced to move" - My wife is making me sell

[Slyder]

"No title" - But some other guy has it, cash only

[dontpanic]

"Carbs need to be cleaned" - It doesn't run and I don't know why.

[carsick]

"Carbs need to be cleaned"

After which you will discover horrible noises coming from the motor, which is why the thing was left for dead.

How about "race bike"? pipe and airbox have been removed with sawzall. Or every body panel and electrical component are FUBAR so it could never see the street again.

[LXnastynotch93]

"Might need fill in the blank" it definitely needs this part before you can ride it.

[Petorius]

"Female owned" - Never maintained, stunted by boyfriend

"Female NESR member owned" - Nicer bike than mine

[Rambunctous]

Replaced the speedometer. The old one wore out. TLC Tons of Loot & Cash

[breakdirt916]

I dunno...in my experience:

"Fresh top end" = I never did the top end, maybe someone did before (isn't that what the previous owner told me?)

"Vintage" – I want more than this old POS is worth

"Custom streefighter" – I lowsided the bike, trashed the lower fairings, so I took them off (because it was cheap to do), and am doing my best to make it sound cool, so I call it a streetfighter

"Ran great last season" – it doesn't run and I can't figure out why

[hdscarbro]

"Mint" - Believe this and you'll also want to buy the old bridge I have in NYC.

[SRTie4k]

"Or best offer" - I got 3 calls just before you called offering me 100% asking price.

[Stoneman]

Let's not forget these gems:

'Over $x,xxx in upgrades alone' - I put a bunch of shit on it that *I* like and even though it doesn't mean shit to you, I'm asking that much more...

'This thing cost over $xx,xxx new' - I financed the shit outta this thing and I need to get out from it, but would very much like to prison-rape YOU on the price...

'Not for beginners' - This is the first streetbike I've ever owned...I'll never own another...

'Must sell today' - My momz is gonna kick me out if I don't get rid of this...

[GixerJockey]

VERY FAST - I scared the shit out of myself and never rode it again

[Stoneman]

'race bike' - sport bike...

[LXnastynotch93]

"Needs nothing" - I don't really know what it needs because I haven't kept up with the maintenance, or its needs tires, chain and sprocket, and new brake pads, but I want you to come look at it in person and tell you once you're there.

[SRTie4k]

"Lightly used" - it still has the original oil the dealership put in
"Don't have time to ride" - don't have time to fix/maintain it properly
"Getting a bigger bike" - because the clutch slips and I want to power wheelie anyways
"Excellent shape" - on the side you see in the photo
"Runs great" - because all the safety switches are bypassed

[curiouser]

"Owned by a mechanic" = I changed the oil myself a couple of times.
"Lots of extras!" = You're gonna love the 120 db straight pipe, extended swingarm, and chrome frame, bro.

[Falko]

"Price will go up in the Spring" - It's going to sit in the snow all winter unless you buy it and be an even bigger POS.

[Imbeek]

"Over xxxxx INVESTED"=you won't believe how much I wasted on this POS but I hope you will reimburse me.

"First to see will buy"=no one has even bothered to look at it because of delusional asking price, but I'm not budging.

"Shoot me a text"= shoot me

"Never seen rain"=I am a poser who shouldn't be allowed to own a motorcycle

[tsorfas]

"Owned by a mechanic" = I changed the oil myself a couple of times.
"Lots of extras!" = You're gonna love the 120 db straight pipe, extended swingarm, and chrome frame, bro.

Most accurate post!

[tsorfas]

"Last time I checked" - I have never checked
"Pictures upon request" - if I post pics it ll never sell
"Girl owner" - I got this for my girl she crashed it 50 times
"Forgot to put kickstand down and dropped it stopped in the driveway" - I hit a wall dead on at 120 mph and then it was run over but an 18wheeler
"Light scratches" - the fairings are destroyed
"Might need paint job" - it will need new fairings
"I have extra helmet and gear to sell with it" - $29 eBay helmet made out of recycled condoms and walmart hoodie with Suzuki printed on

[01xj]

Previous owner dropped it- I dropped it a bunch of fucking times but for some reason think it sounds better if I blame it on the previous owner.

[Imbeek]

"Last time I checked" - I have never checked
"Pictures upon request" - if I post pics it ll never sell
"Girl owner" - I got this for my girl she crashed it 50 times
"Forgot to put kickstand down and dropped it stopped in the driveway" - I hit a wall dead on at 120 mph and then it was run over but an 18wheeler
"Light scratches" - the fairings are destroyed
"Might need paint job" - it will need new fairings
"I have extra helmet and gear to sell with it" - $29 eBay helmet made out of recycled condoms and walmart hoodie with Suzuki printed on