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D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

  1. #1
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    D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity


    We all do dumb things. Share your motorcycle related bonehead moves here. I'll start -

    Trailered my bike home from the shop the other day. Trailer can be loaded by a single person but the mechanic was pretty cool and walked it up the trailer for me. I usually just push it (note, this will be important later)

    When i got it home I could not roll it off! It seemed like the piece that flips forward to lock the front wheel into the chock would not flip back to let the bike out. Bad times - the trailer was blocking my driveway. I live in Somerville, narrow one way street with parking on both sides so there was no way I was going to back the trailer out so I could access my commuter vehicle. This could turn into a real s-show

    I got a friend and my neighbor and we were trying to roll the bike back and it just would not move. Finally, I took that little locking piece out and still the bike would not roll backward. WTF! Oh wait, the mechanic walked the bike up the trailer. Yeah, its still in gear. No wonder it wouldn't roll back. Take it out of gear and the bike rolls off without a problem

    I was smh at my stupidity for days

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  2. #2
    Super Adventurer SRTie4k's Avatar
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    Re: D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

    I once tried to check the oil level through the sight window of a Honda Grom I was about to buy. I stared at it for a good 3 minutes trying to figure out how much oil was in it, only to come to the conclusion that either the oil level was too low or there was no oil in it.

    Turns out the Honda Grom has no oil sight window.

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    2015 KTM 1290 Super Adventure

  3. #3
    Awesomeness, Inc. MattR302's Avatar
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    Re: D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

    I’m pretty sure I win this competition, but I’ll wait to hear what you guys have first.

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    -Matt

  4. #4
    Senior Member jimmycapp's Avatar
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    Re: D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

    Thought I typed this somewhere on here already, but can't find it.

    First motorcycle. 1990 GSXR750. It was pretty rough all around and I loved it. Wire harness was a rats nest of previous owner(S) hack jobs. Bike ran great until about 1-1.5 hours of heat soak, then it felt really down on power. I didn't really know what was going on, but figured I could clean the carbs first, since it's free and I was a broke college kid. First time touching more than a single carb on my lawn mower, I pulled the 4 off fully disassembled, cleaned and reassembled, twice, just in case. Not fixed. Replaced both coils, wires, and plugs for about $250. Not fixed. Threw up my hands and brought it to Chaplin motorsports in CT, that I heard was good. They had the bike for two weeks, said they fixed it. Found some magic hidden gunk in the carb. Good to go for $450. Halfway riding home, bike is losing power, because they pinched one of the fuel lines under the tank, and lost the rubber mounts for the tank, so it was vibrating like crazy, and it started to rain. Corrected those issues when I got home, and it still wasn't fixed....Fuck. Rode around near my house for 2 hours until it started acting up. Parked in the garage at idle and started pulling spark plug wires one at a time and listen to the Idle. 4th one I pulled didn't change the idle. I rotated it slightly and saw the spark jumping through a little tear in one of the boots. The rubber sleeves I didn't order when I replaced the coils, because they looked fine. One wrap of electrical tape and it was finally running great. The rubber sleeve was like $1.50. Spent $650+ to fix it. Good learning experience.


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  5. #5
    I miss doing trackdays tbonehedge's Avatar
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    Re: D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

    Changed the oil and forgot to put the fill cap back on..... twice, about 15 years apart. Came to my first stop sign about 10 miles from home and it looked like a smoke bomb went off under my seat. I'm lucky I didn't crash, there was oil ALL over my back tire.

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  6. #6
    Soul Rider Paul_E_D's Avatar
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    Re: D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

    I could write a list...

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    Paul_E_D


  7. #7
    Senior Member capitalcrew's Avatar
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    Re: D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

    Buying one and then another ten or so after not learning my lesson the first time.

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  8. #8
    Lifer LuvDog's Avatar
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    Re: D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

    Took my new to me 916 for an inspection sticker. Tech said the rear brake light wasn't working - I knew I had checked it before I left. But with a handful of brake lever and my foot on the brake, I turned to try and look at the tail light. Well... since I can barely put my toes down when on the bike... and the bars cranked over.... me and the bike went tumbling down. Ended up breaking the turn signal when I dropped it. LOL. No sticker for me that day.

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    2003 ZX7R
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  9. #9
    Lifer
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    Re: D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

    Got on the bike and folded the kick stand up. Realize I need to get something out of my bag. Lean bike over on to kickstand and step off in one quick combined movement. I'd forgotten to put the kickstand down.
    Quote Originally Posted by tbonehedge View Post
    Changed the oil and forgot to put the fill cap back on..... twice, about 15 years apart. Came to my first stop sign about 10 miles from home and it looked like a smoke bomb went off under my seat. I'm lucky I didn't crash, there was oil ALL over my back tire.
    I did that one with a car. Driving down the highway, I look up in the mirror and see a smoke screen behind me. Fortunately the cap was still under the hood.

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    02 Aprilia Futura
    86 GPz900R

  10. #10
    Senior Member MHenry600's Avatar
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    Re: D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

    Quote Originally Posted by aldend123 View Post
    Got on the bike and folded the kick stand up. Realize I need to get something out of my bag. Lean bike over on to kickstand and step off in one quick combined movement. I'd forgotten to put the kickstand down.
    Yup, guilty of that one. By the time the bike was leaning over, it was a "nope". Not going to catch it, and not worth blowing out the back to try. It tumbled, picked it up, couple minor scratches and good to go. It had already laid over at that point, so no big deal.

    Like others, could right a laundry list, but this one's fresh (from last night).

    Finally replacing wheel bearings on the CBR that have 66k miles on them. Stoved in the seal on one bearing putting it in because I used a socket that was too small. I knew I should have used the old bearing and turn down the OD a little (on my mini lathe), but was just lazy. Did that with the bearing on the other side, and it worked great. Now I've got to grab a new bearing to replace the brand new one I destroyed.

    Did a similar thing with the KTM swingarm bearings over the winter. Drive all the new bearings in, fine. Get the seals all in place, all good. Then realize the spacer washers for the left side of the swingarm on sitting on the bench. Doh! Can't get those seals out without tearing them up. Had to get two new seals for that.

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  11. #11
    Kosher Assassin Stoneman's Avatar
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    Re: D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

    I've done something similar with the kickstand. Thought I had the kickstand down and got off the bike to go about my business. I heard someone yell, but just figured it was something off in the distance. It took a couple seconds, but then I heard that undeniable crunch sound. The mighty GPZ had taken a tumble.

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    Did you grit your teeth and try to look like Clint Fuckin' Eastwood?
    Or did you lisp it all hangfisted like a fuckin' flower?

  12. #12
    Senior Member MHenry600's Avatar
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    Re: D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

    Quote Originally Posted by MHenry600 View Post
    Now I've got to grab a new bearing to replace the brand new one I destroyed.
    And while talking to the parts counter at Freedom, it just dawned on me that I have a set of KTM wheel bearings sitting at home. Those are also 6005, same as the Honda one I jacked up. Could have finished it up last night. Doh!

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  13. #13
    TWINS! xrocket21's Avatar
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    Re: D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

    Took a 3 day weekend and all at once on my STI did the following:

    -Headers
    -Up-pipe
    -Downpipe
    -intake manifold
    -intake
    -injectors
    -new turbo
    -front mount intercooler
    -external wastegate
    -fuel pump

    basically a full rotated mount turbo kit and supporting mods.

    It took like 40 man hours total. It was a real whore.

    did it all perfect except for ONE thing

    On the dyno the boost spiked to well over 35 psi (I was making 450 to the wheels at 27 psi...)

    Turns out when you go from internal wastegate to external wastegate, you move the wastegate line one nipple over on the 3 port boost solenoid.

    cracked a piston, smoked the motor.

    Not moving a 1/8" vac line, 1 nipple over, 0.5" away, cost me $10k+


    ouchies.

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  14. #14
    Kosher Assassin Stoneman's Avatar
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    Re: D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

    Quote Originally Posted by xrocket21 View Post
    Took a 3 day weekend and all at once on my STI did the following:

    -Headers
    -Up-pipe
    -Downpipe
    -intake manifold
    -intake
    -injectors
    -new turbo
    -front mount intercooler
    -external wastegate
    -fuel pump

    basically a full rotated mount turbo kit and supporting mods.

    It took like 40 man hours total. It was a real whore.

    did it all perfect except for ONE thing

    On the dyno the boost spiked to well over 35 psi (I was making 450 to the wheels at 27 psi...)

    Turns out when you go from internal wastegate to external wastegate, you move the wastegate line one nipple over on the 3 port boost solenoid.

    cracked a piston, smoked the motor.

    Not moving a 1/8" vac line, 1 nipple over, 0.5" away, cost me $10k+


    ouchies.
    Should we just close the thread now?

    5 Not allowed! Not allowed!
    Did you grit your teeth and try to look like Clint Fuckin' Eastwood?
    Or did you lisp it all hangfisted like a fuckin' flower?

  15. #15
    Awesomeness, Inc. MattR302's Avatar
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    Re: D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

    Quote Originally Posted by Stoneman View Post
    Should we just close the thread now?
    OP asked about motorcycle-related bonehead mistakes, not car-related.
    Quote Originally Posted by MattR302 View Post
    Iím pretty sure I win this competition, but Iíll wait to hear what you guys have first.
    Two months after buying my first bike, I lost half a finger while attempting to clean the chain with the bike running in first gear on the center stand.

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    -Matt

  16. #16
    Senior Member capitalcrew's Avatar
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    Re: D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

    I almost broke my finger catching my bike on its way down. No kickstand, just washed the front out in the driveway barely moving, turning into the garage going down hill. I still can't figure out how. I hopped off on its way down and locked up the front brake to keep it from rolling away. Pinched a finger under the lever but squeezed it as hard as I could anyway. It tipped enough that the tip over sensor shut the bike down. Managed to pick it up up somehow. Finger hurt like hell but the bike escaped without a scratch.

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  17. #17
    BMW track whore e30addict's Avatar
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    Re: D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

    Bought first motorcycle ever. Showed up with flat deck car hauler. Strapped bike to steel deck by going from frame rail and over seat on kickstand side to "secure" it. First left turn, pulling out of parking lot, and brand new bike flopped over to the right and smashed down onto the trailer. Broke the windshield, mirror and cowl. Steep learning curve on how to properly secure a motorcycle

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  18. #18
    TWINS! xrocket21's Avatar
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    Re: D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

    Quote Originally Posted by MattR302 View Post
    OP asked about motorcycle-related bonehead mistakes, not car-related.

    Two months after buying my first bike, I lost half a finger while attempting to clean the chain with the bike running in first gear on the center stand.
    I apologize, I took the title of "tales of personal stupidity"

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  19. #19
    Kosher Assassin Stoneman's Avatar
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    Re: D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

    Quote Originally Posted by e30addict View Post
    Bought first motorcycle ever. Showed up with flat deck car hauler. Strapped bike to steel deck by going from frame rail and over seat on kickstand side to "secure" it. First left turn, pulling out of parking lot, and brand new bike flopped over to the right and smashed down onto the trailer. Broke the windshield, mirror and cowl. Steep learning curve on how to properly secure a motorcycle
    A little off-topic, but...I'm AMAZED at how many people I see hauling bikes with them resting on the kickstand. They have them tied down & all, but the bike's still leaned over resting on it's side stand. Needless to say, I've seen a few on their sides. Living where we do, we have a lot of opportunities to witness this. It's mind boggling.

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    Did you grit your teeth and try to look like Clint Fuckin' Eastwood?
    Or did you lisp it all hangfisted like a fuckin' flower?

  20. #20
    Kosher Assassin Stoneman's Avatar
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    Re: D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

    Quote Originally Posted by MattR302 View Post
    OP asked about motorcycle-related bonehead mistakes, not car-related
    Point taken. I was focused on the title rather than the original post.

    THREAD SHALL REMAIN OPEN!

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    Did you grit your teeth and try to look like Clint Fuckin' Eastwood?
    Or did you lisp it all hangfisted like a fuckin' flower?

  21. #21
    Senior Member jeantarrou's Avatar
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    Re: D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

    Thank you for this thread, makes me feel like less of a moron...

    But last night while trying to diagnose some problems with my bike I accidentally touched a metal piece of the ABS module to the positive terminal on the battery. Now the bike won't even crank and is error-city... WTF... I do have all 10 fingers though?

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    Hyper

  22. #22
    Bizarro Zoolander Petorius's Avatar
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    Re: D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

    A couple months before the first kid was born, I sold all the bikes.

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  23. #23
    Senior Member jimmycapp's Avatar
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    Re: D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

    That’s not good. Disconnect battery. Check all the fuses first. Maybe get lucky.

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  24. #24
    Super Adventurer SRTie4k's Avatar
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    Re: D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

    Quote Originally Posted by jeantarrou View Post
    Thank you for this thread, makes me feel like less of a moron...

    But last night while trying to diagnose some problems with my bike I accidentally touched a metal piece of the ABS module to the positive terminal on the battery. Now the bike won't even crank and is error-city... WTF... I do have all 10 fingers though?
    Most likely the main/ignition fuse.

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    2015 KTM 1290 Super Adventure

  25. #25
    Lifer LuvDog's Avatar
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    Re: D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

    Quote Originally Posted by Stoneman View Post
    A little off-topic, but...I'm AMAZED at how many people I see hauling bikes with them resting on the kickstand. They have them tied down & all, but the bike's still leaned over resting on it's side stand. Needless to say, I've seen a few on their sides. Living where we do, we have a lot of opportunities to witness this. It's mind boggling.
    It seems like I see this a lot with Harley's in the backs of trucks

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    2003 ZX7R
    1995 916

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