[Wishbone]

FIRST PERSON/OPINION

Via e-mail:

The squid (motorcyclown squidus) is found for the most part in the northern hemisphere and tends to be most active during the warmer months in temperate climates. Although he comes in all shapes and colors, he can generally be identified by certain specific behaviors that we have been able to map out after studying him for about 15 years.

The squid has a very high opinion of himself. "Modesty" is generally not part of his vocabulary and he often believes that his skills, knowledge and experience level make him something to be admired or at the very least, respected.

The squid generally has a fascination with horsepower. In many instances, the obsession is inversely proportional to his actual skill level. However, in the depths of the ocean, skill seems to be measured by the ability to twist the throttle in sixth gear on the interstate. So obviously, the squid can feel his skills grow as he buys increasingly faster motorcycles.

The squid is often the best friend of the sales manager, and the worst nightmare of the service department. The parts guy generally has mixed feelings. Indeed, the squid often needs the most expensive accessories to match his awesome skill level. However, the squid also says things like "I need a piston for a blue Yamaha" which signal to the parts guy that the next 15 minutes are not going to be fun.

The squid has rituals, generally weekly, which are repeated throughout the riding season and become a major part of his life. They often involve cruising and hanging out on two or three crowded streets on weekends. Like South Street, in Philadelphia. Very little happens during those gatherings which for the most part have an excitement level that ranks somewhere between that of watching paint dry and watching golf on TV. The squid generally stands next to his motorcycle and answers questions from curious passersby. Generally, "how fast can it go?"

The squid loves the Internet. It is generally the best place for him to spread his knowledge and tell people how ignorant they are. He can often be identified early by specific items in his signature line. Buzzwords such as "fender eliminator kit" or "flush mounted turn signals." Indeed, those are considered essential modifications to any self-respecting squid and must be mentioned as part of his signature line.

The only people a squid shows any kind of respect for are racers of the Isle of Man TT. On occasion, the squid allows himself to be impressed with some Superbike or Grand Prix racers, even though going through the same corners over and over is not very manly and must be, to the squid's thinking, rather boring even though he has actually never been on a racetrack himself. But not those pussies on the little 125cc and 250cc bikes with the foreign-sounding names. The squid often seems to have information coming directly from the major factories involved in racing. His statements are to be considered factual and anything else will be met with a healthy dose of aggressiveness (and e-gangsta threats on motorcycle forums).

It should be noted, for the sake of accuracy, that not all street riders are squids. Far from it, actually. But the vast majority of squids are street riders, although some squids have been known to purchase a racing license for the sole purpose of increasing their credibility on the street.

Papa A. Thiam, Director
Monaco Oceanographic Institute
Paris, France



Papa Thiam is a former motorcycle racer with first-hand experience why Airfence and other soft barriers are a good thing to have in front of an embankment outside a fast corner. He is also a former resident of, and street rider in, Philadelphia, and his writing has been previously published in Roadracing World as well as in Sport Rider magazine..Editor.




And now some reader reaction:

FIRST PERSON/OPINION

Via e-mail:

As a continuation……..

Squids also invariably ride with jeans and t-shirts or tank tops only.

Jackets are never optional. Full leathers are expensive, so they are deemed not necessary.

Squids usually never have a clue about which rider is involved in what series: Max Biaggi is now in AMA, Mat Mladin is in MotoGP, Dani Pedrosa is in BSB. (British Superbike). Knowledge is POWER!! (Sarcastic)

Squids believe that because they can do a good or excellent wheelie that this translates to “knowing how to ride”

Squids usually conduct lanesplitting at an incredibly ridiculous pace thinking they will NEVER get hit.

Squids will usually buy the best liter bike available then either wreck it or run it into the ground before putting on some decent mileage.

When said squid buys the latest and greatest why do they spend $100 on the cheapest helmet with the “coolest” graphics?

Could it be that they don’t believe an Arai, Suomy, Shoei, etc. is necessary because it’s expensive?

Just my 2 cents, but hey what do I know? I’m just a guy who has been riding for a number of years, been involved in an accident before and respects the road, the track and racers who make the sport what it is.

Squids respect “Biker Boyz” and “Torque”

Maurice Thune
Anaheim, California




FIRST PERSON/OPINION

Via e-mail:

I love it, finally someone writes a commentary on the nature and behavior of Street Squids, who happen to be a big pet peeve of mine. Living 2 blocks behind MMI in Phoenix, I am surrounded by them. Papa nailed it head on but lets not forget that the Street Squid also thinks that they are invincible and thus, does not need any protective gear such as a helmet, long sleeve shirt or pants. Or if they own a helmet, it's attached to the passenger seat (assumably because it offers them more protection there than on their head) Around here, especially in the summer, you can find them with no helmet, tank tops, shorts and often time, flip flops. And I've also found that Street Squids that own Suzuki GSXR models all call them Gixxers. I don't know why but I've never like the way that sounds. Calling a Ducati a Duc I can handle but Gixxer? It's a GSXR, not a Gixxer. Here's hoping that Suzuki never coins that nickname in any of their advertising for any of the GSXR models.

Anyways, I just had to write in and say Props to Papa - it made me laugh and I'm with ya 100%!!

Dorina Groves
Phoenix, Arizona



Dorina Groves worked as the Media Manager For the AMA Superbike Series in 2002...Editor.

[Ri_De_bike]

interesting article, everyone has thier skill level. i suppose some "squids" grow up to be cyclists, some just sell the bike in the fall. i think there's some squid in us all, i'm surpressing mine.<bfg> most riders are just happy to be on two wheels and maybe feel part of a group. myself, i just like carving corners and watching the toddlers stare out the windows of the family cages. wondering if that's a rider in the future.
i just saw the movie worlds fastest indian.... that was good! drag racings not for me but i understand the obsession.

[Kham]

sounds like you John.

[97BladeRider]

Originally Posted by Kham

sounds like you John.

you beat me to it.

We're all a squid in some capacity.

[Wishbone]

i have no idea what you guys are talking about....

The squid has a very high opinion of himself. "Modesty" is generally not part of his vocabulary

....i have the most modest user name on hear

and he often believes that his skills, knowledge and experience level make him something to be admired or at the very least, respected.

all the kids at the dairy twist admire AND respect me

and it really hurts being called a squid by KHAM talk about the kettle calling the pot black

[ZuminaZX]

I don't follow motorcycle racing......am I therefore a squid? I also don't buy super expensive helmets that carry the same certifications that the cheap ones do.........crap.

[Josephd14]

Originally Posted by fasterthanu

the squid also says things like "I need a piston for a blue Yamaha" which signal to the parts guy that the next 15 minutes are not going to be fun.

Hmmm, Blue Yamaha... very Interesting..

[Luvanicebum]

Live to Ride - Ride to DIE
You think all equipment is treated equally because of a stamp?
Squid rule #4: Silly squid, you get what you pay for.

[Josephd14]

I think I'm going to get a bullet proof vest to go under my $9000 leather suit reinforced by steel, and Tittanium padding.. Man some of you Gear NAZI's are taking it to a whole new level... If those pictures and stories prove anything, its that all the gear in the world is not going to save you if you ride like an ass hat... A brain in your head is going to increase your chances on the road more then any gear will..

[Wishbone]

Originally Posted by josephd14

Hmmm, Blue Yamaha... very Interesting..

aaaa

Originally Posted by josephd14

its that all the gear in the world is not going to save you if you ride like an ass hat... A brain in your head is going to increase your chances on the road more then any gear will..

yeah your screwed

[Doc]

I hate that... Gear Nazi... Just because someone is responsiable and does the right thing in trying to educate people in the proper riding gear they are labled a gear nazi..

[Cue Ball]

I have two new injury claims at work, both bikes, both squids, each has had their bikes less then a month, thanks...Least they could do is be a man and fess up to driving like retards.

[jimaug87]

I'm not a squid, I'm just new to bikes. I'm sure I will increase my knowlege of what's going on with experience. I promise to become a real biker with time. Just bear with me

[KillBill]

Tis all good








SQUID

[Crash Dummy Denno]

I'm so sick of the "squid" talk...

[sxlova07]

Originally Posted by Smooth R6

I'm so sick of the "squid" talk...

x1000000000 seriously oh the f*** cares....lets just all enjoy our bikes as we choose fit, and select other ppl we want to associate with at our own discretion. So D couple more weeks and we hit the tracks....WOOHOO!

[Crash Dummy Denno]

Originally Posted by sxlova07

x1000000000 seriously oh the f*** cares....lets just all enjoy our bikes as we choose fit, and select other ppl we want to associate with at our own discretion. So D couple more weeks and we hit the tracks....WOOHOO!

That trackday can't come soon enough!

[Josephd14]

Originally Posted by Doc

I hate that... Gear Nazi... Just because someone is responsiable and does the right thing in trying to educate people in the proper riding gear they are labled a gear nazi..

And if you read my post you would understand my point was, it has got to the point that people are throwing around the squid word if you don't have a $1500 track suit, Or better yet if you don't go to the track your a squid, or because the padding in your leather pants is only 2 inches insteada 4 inches, OMG jeans on a motorcycle that is just sooooo squidly..
You can consider yourself responsable by wearing gear all you want, but if you ride irresponsably it really doesn't matter.. I'm just using your quote This is not directed directly at you DOC, but just the community as a whole..

[umbrellaBOY]

i heard there will be a squad of x1 ninjas up in that shit in july 17th

[umbrellaBOY]

i got a hjc helmet with my track suit...average my get up would cost around 30 bucks to 120 the most.. depending on what suit i wear...
word is 49cc

[sxlova07]

Originally Posted by umbrellaBOY

i got a hjc helmet with my track suit...average my get up would cost around 30 bucks to 120 the most.. depending on what suit i wear...
word is 49cc

dont be hating on my helmet and my red power ranger suit.....I wanna race your x1 ninja next month and see who gets the better track time