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  #1  
Old 07-07-08, 09:20 PM
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Super Swamp-Ass! I'm not alone or am I?


So I have been getting some "Super Swamp Ass" (this isn't the normal sweaty balls, I'm talking soaked ass look!) from riding and its not like I'm out riding for 4 hours or anything just like a 30min ride will do it. Is this normal? (as gay as that question is I had to ask). And its not like I'm a fat ass that sweats of obesity (5'11" 175lbs).

I'm sure I'm not alone so what is everyone else do to combat this? I have already learned my lesson not to wear tan colored pants!

any tips would be appreciated!
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  #2  
Old 07-07-08, 09:23 PM
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Re: Super Swamp-Ass! I'm not alone or am I?


oh fer Christ's sake.....






Anti Monkey Butt Powder
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  #3  
Old 07-07-08, 09:24 PM
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Re: Super Swamp-Ass! I'm not alone or am I?




+ YouTube Video
ERROR: If you can see this, then YouTube is down or you don't have Flash installed.
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  #4  
Old 07-07-08, 09:25 PM
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Re: Super Swamp-Ass! I'm not alone or am I?


anti-perspirant...hit that shit will the Old Spice...
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  #5  
Old 07-07-08, 09:35 PM
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Re: Super Swamp-Ass! I'm not alone or am I?


I figured my post would warrant some humorious comments. but nonthless I'm for real in my quest for a dry ride!

Anti-monkey butt, huh! similar stuff as goldbahms (sp) body powder?

thanks for the quick responses
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  #6  
Old 07-07-08, 09:35 PM
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Re: Super Swamp-Ass! I'm not alone or am I?


seriously, dusting your nuts/crack/taint (nifkin, gooch, whatever you wanna call it) with gold bond powder will literally make you think you found jesus




Nut powder and Gold Bond - NASIOC


i always enjoy a box of chocolates or some flowers and a thank you letter, FYI




oh, and the yellow bottle or the green bottle are fine (if you're a beginner, use yellow)... FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST, STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM THE BLUE BOTTLE

that stuff is literally nuclear junk-melting toxic in terms of making your nuts freeze off
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  #7  
Old 07-07-08, 09:36 PM
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Re: Super Swamp-Ass! I'm not alone or am I?


Quote:
Originally Posted by MotoFreak View Post
anti-perspirant...hit that shit will the Old Spice...
Haha, does this realy work?
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  #8  
Old 07-07-08, 09:46 PM
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Re: Super Swamp-Ass! I'm not alone or am I?


Quote:
Originally Posted by spicy View Post
seriously, dusting your nuts/crack/taint (nifkin, gooch, whatever you wanna call it) with gold bond powder will literally make you think you found jesus




Nut powder and Gold Bond - NASIOC


i always enjoy a box of chocolates or some flowers and a thank you letter, FYI




oh, and the yellow bottle or the green bottle are fine (if you're a beginner, use yellow)... FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST, STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM THE BLUE BOTTLE

that stuff is literally nuclear junk-melting toxic in terms of making your nuts freeze off
... Did you use the blue on Friday? Is that why you kept standing up to air your crotch out? ... or were you just showing me your ass?
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  #9  
Old 07-07-08, 09:47 PM
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Re: Super Swamp-Ass! I'm not alone or am I?


Quote:
Originally Posted by spicy View Post
seriously, dusting your nuts/crack/taint (nifkin, gooch, whatever you wanna call it) with gold bond powder will literally make you think you found jesus




Nut powder and Gold Bond - NASIOC


i always enjoy a box of chocolates or some flowers and a thank you letter, FYI




oh, and the yellow bottle or the green bottle are fine (if you're a beginner, use yellow)... FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST, STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM THE BLUE BOTTLE

that stuff is literally nuclear junk-melting toxic in terms of making your nuts freeze off

I have been using the yellow bottle since 2000. it was introduced to me at boot camp it is the shit! but that blue bottle is not for granular use I will attest to that!
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  #10  
Old 07-07-08, 09:49 PM
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Re: Super Swamp-Ass! I'm not alone or am I?


change your underwear

I wear these
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  #11  
Old 07-07-08, 09:57 PM
drop's Avatar
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Re: Super Swamp-Ass! I'm not alone or am I?


DEPEND - Product Information - DEPEND Belted Shields - Elastic Leg Button Straps
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  #12  
Old 07-07-08, 10:18 PM
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Re: Super Swamp-Ass! I'm not alone or am I?


shave you ass.
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  #13  
Old 07-07-08, 10:24 PM
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Re: Super Swamp-Ass! I'm not alone or am I?


seriously, don't knock GBP until you try it. the stuff is literally the only thing that enabled me to work last summer in it's entirety, full time at a NAPA regional distribution warehouse (which included twice a week stocking (lifting) 6000lbs worth of rotors and calipers onto shelves in 4 hours -- basically rotors weigh between 20-30lbs each, 2-3 per minute, nonstop for 4 hours) in 115-120* humid heat.

fuck that sucked.



but now i have Veronica.



and no, jackie, i didn't dust the fellas before the ride, which is precisely the reason that i had to stand up and air them out periodically.
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  #14  
Old 07-07-08, 10:40 PM
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Re: Super Swamp-Ass! I'm not alone or am I?


You want some really bad swass? Try riding my bike. Under tail exhaust and it feels like all the heat goes right through the front seat. The rear seems to stay pretty cool though, lucky whores.
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  #15  
Old 07-07-08, 11:00 PM
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Re: Super Swamp-Ass! I'm not alone or am I?


Quote:
Originally Posted by BCT748 View Post
You want some really bad swass? Try riding my bike. Under tail exhaust and it feels like all the heat goes right through the front seat. The rear seems to stay pretty cool though, lucky Brian675.
Fixed
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  #16  
Old 07-07-08, 11:17 PM
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Re: Super Swamp-Ass! I'm not alone or am I?


Quote:
Originally Posted by spicy View Post
but now i have Veronica.

I know hun...I can't live without you either...
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  #17  
Old 07-07-08, 11:40 PM
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Re: Super Swamp-Ass! I'm not alone or am I?


even the green GBP can be a bit too cold if you use too much, so use a good bit of the yellow, a little bit of the green, but no blue!!
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  #18  
Old 07-07-08, 11:53 PM
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Re: Super Swamp-Ass! I'm not alone or am I?


Quote:
Originally Posted by RandyO View Post
change your underwear

I wear these
Yhea i'm gonna order pair see if it helps!



Adult diapers! fantastic idea then I won't even have to stop to go to the bathroom. I hear bathrooms in vermont really stink!



Quote:
Originally Posted by l3uddha View Post
shave you ass.
I really don't know what to say!
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  #19  
Old 07-08-08, 06:20 AM
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Re: Super Swamp-Ass! I'm not alone or am I?


GBP si where its at. I had a friend describe it as "the cool breathe of 1000 midgets".

that was one of the tricks I learned from FTX's. This is what saved my ass:

GBP, Babywipes, and going commando.
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  #20  
Old 07-08-08, 06:30 AM
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Re: Super Swamp-Ass! I'm not alone or am I?


Quote:
Originally Posted by MotoFreak View Post
anti-perspirant...hit that shit will the Old Spice...
Baby Powder FTMFW!
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  #21  
Old 07-08-08, 07:11 AM
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Re: Super Swamp-Ass! I'm not alone or am I?


"It's like a 1,000 little gnomes with icy hands massaging your boys." - Author Unknown

Anyone who doesn't Bond their boys is seriously missing out on one of life's great experiences.

gold for gentle cooling
green for a minty fresh sensation
blue to experience a 1000 little gnomes with icy hands pounding the living daylights out of your boys
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  #22  
Old 07-08-08, 07:48 AM
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Re: Super Swamp-Ass! I'm not alone or am I?


Another vote for Gold Bond. It's magic, seriously.
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  #23  
Old 07-08-08, 08:28 AM
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Re: Super Swamp-Ass! I'm not alone or am I?


Quote:
Originally Posted by spicy View Post
FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST, STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM THE BLUE BOTTLE

that stuff is literally nuclear junk-melting toxic in terms of making your nuts freeze off
Hahaha, reminds me when my buddy was over my place and looking to do a little touch up. He didn't know not to use the blue... He ran home clutchin his crotch to take a shower. I nearly died laughing.

Here's another solution: BeadRider - Beaded Motorcycle Seats.
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  #24  
Old 07-08-08, 03:15 PM
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Re: Super Swamp-Ass! I'm not alone or am I?


Quote:
Originally Posted by MissTwisties View Post
I know hun...I can't live without you either...
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  #25  
Old 07-08-08, 04:12 PM
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Re: Super Swamp-Ass! I'm not alone or am I?


Speaking of putting stuff on your nuts... In college I had a really really bad quad injury (took a direct "spearing" from a soccer cleat) it put me on the sidelines for about a week with a serious contusion.

My first game back I got my quad ALLLLLLLLL Icey Hot-ed up.... well, as the game went on & my undies rode up the Icey Hot got on my sack.... I've never run so fast & so hard for 90 minutes in my life. It was like my balls were in a walk-in freezer filled with tobasco sauce. Weirdest sensation ever. I couldn't tell if I was in heaven or hell.... of course I was still drunk from the night before which made it even weirder.
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