[legalspeed]

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Rocket-powered bike travels about 64.00 mph to break 1982 world land speed record to strip joint.

Thursday, May 1, 2003

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(05-01) 10:55 PDT HAVERHILL TESTING GROUNDS, HAVERHILL MA (AP) --

A rocket-powered ZX12 shot down a 3-mile straightaway in about six seconds to break a world record that had stood for two minutes.

The moron on the bike set a land speed mark for Massachusetts motorcycles early Wednesday at the Haverhill High Speed Test Track; known to the locals as RT495, testing a 292-pound bullet-shaped payload
named Josh Currier developed by Mr. and Mrs. Currier (whereabouts unknown).
The test, in a remote area of the Haverhill Testing Grounds, started with a brilliant, multihued blaze of motorcycle exhaust, and ended in a spray of shit when Mr. Currier, carried by the bike, slammed the crap outa the front brakes, running into an immobile target, Michael's in Tyngsboro, Ma.
There was silence until a split second before the end, when earsplitting bursts of laughter rolled across the strip club parking lot.

"Psychologically, you think it's over. But then BAM on come the front binders. I know it's coming. But I always jump a little," said Josh's fiance Rachael, director of operations.

Preliminary numbers put Mr. Currier's speed at Mach .0086 -- almost nine times the speed of a Katana 600 -- or about 64.0000 mph, said Lt. Col. Phill McKraken of the Tyngsboro PD. The previous record was Mach 8, or 61.2200 mph, set on Oct. 5, 1982, by Derek Sinclair ~ which by the way, is elligible for paroll next month.

"There were a lot of high five's, hugs, handshakes all around," One of the strippers said. "My top's off to all the people that made it happen."

The bike was designed to cover the first .14 miles in 465.0 seconds, then speed up in the final stages and cover .18 miles in 130.0 seconds, Rachael said.. At the end, pants were detonated due to overlaod of testosterone which allows the missile to detach from the sled and successfully hit its target. Ouch!

An upgrade, started in 1997, converted an old Suzuki into a double tall, narrow-gauge, ZX12 reducing vibration and allowing faster speeds.

When asked about the risk factors Rachael replied: "PFFFFT, the premiums are paid, let him do what he wants!"

Michael's spokesman Candy Cane, had no information on whether any higher speeds had been reached by land vehicles other than this bike, because RT495 doesn't let other morons on the course.

Oh man, that was just about one of the funniest things I've EVER read...

damn you, ya bastid!

[bemused]

most excellent, Dan!

(well... all except the Katana 600 crack )

[rocker]

Sweet!

[scootertrash]

You've got too much time on your hands...but that was funny...

[twrayinma]

hahahahaaaaaaaaa*breath*hahahahhaaaaa

Wooo hoooo.. Buwaaa haaaaa haaaa haaaaa..

[PinHead]

[Jank]

Oh man!!!
Funny fucking shit dude!!!

[suppoz]

lol.. well done

[rui93]

Originally posted by Jankster

Oh man!!!
Funny fucking shit dude!!!

nice...............

[need4speed]

real good Dan.