[oreo_n2]

Idiot # 1 I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in
very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I
quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be
no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at
the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her
daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her
that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

Idiot # 2 Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield
decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful
in getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float
on the river, a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised
them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency
locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no
longer employed at Boeing. Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet;
the paint might run.

Idiot # 3 - A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a
downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a
stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line,
waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone
had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached
the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the
street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed
his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his
spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbour, told
him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on
a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out
a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking
omewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few
minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. Don't
bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

Idiot # 4 A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap
that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead
of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several
days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another
picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
Another sign (though this guy might be onto something worth thinking
about)!

Idiot # 5 Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and
demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put
the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted
behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the
bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe
you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused
to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the
robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the
clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact
over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the
store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave
the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They
arrested the robber two hours later. Remind me to have more signs
printed up. Give this guy his!

Idiot # 6 A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously
waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his
partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't
need a sign; he probably figured it out himself.

Idiot # 7 Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He
decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store
window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and
heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back
and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems
the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was
caught on videotape. Oh, that smarts. Give him his sign!

Idiot # 8 Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man
walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A.M., flashed
a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man
ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. (Please note that these
people are allowed to vote!)

[twrayinma]

haaaaaaaaaaahahhahaa

nice.
-t

[abbeth]

Thanks for providing me with some entertainment, I needed that

[GadgettR1]

Now if only the asshole who stole my powerwasher and chainsaw did something that stupid! Like perhaps trying to pet my Rotty...lol