[RSVMILLE661]

In recent days on this forum and in my daily interaction with people I have found that all too often we as humans have a tendancy to speak our minds even if not entirely appropriate. Going beyond all need for drama or trolling, I've decided to share a recent experience with all of you in the hopes that may enlighten you to not only think before speaking but take into consideration those around you and those who may be listening.

It was Saturday night and I had just made my way home from the track. It was late and I was very hungry. Not wanting to cook for myself I stopped at the local Applebee's and found myself a cozy seat at the bar. The bartender greated me with a smile and asked what I would like to drink. I ordered and blankly stared across the bar at a woman nervously flicking her cigarette in a very learned, pattern like motion. As my mind wandered I found myself thinking of different racing lines, braking points and knee down anticipation locations on the track. My blissful thoughts were broken up by small giggles and laughter coming from my left.

A few seats down 2 young men were laughing and drinking. Not wanting to miss out on something that has the potential to be fun I tuned my ear to their conversation. I quickly realized what they were joking about. To my dismay they were making fun of a woman who clearly has undergone chemo therapy. Wanting to be sure I heard what I thought I did, I gave it a few minutes and sure enough they were joking about her loss of body hair and very pale complexion. This is where I got extremely sensitive to the situation. My grandfather, and 2 great uncles have all passed from Cancer. Not many of you know this and this is the first time I have publicly mentioned this but I too survived cancer last year. It was not a courageous fight like I am sure this young woman has endured, but I have over come nonseminoma through surgical removal of 1 of my testicles. (insert jokes about slow lap times here-->) I got up and politely asked the two men what was so funny and brazenly one said "the cue ball in the corner" shocked, I asked what was funny about cancer? Neither could come up with a good answer. Short of getting into fisticuffs right there I made it clear that any further comments would not be welcome and that if they had a problem we could discuss it further in the parking lot. Both being very uncomfortable at this point backed down and appologized. Soon after they both left.

In light of recent events on this board, I challenge all of you to be more cognisant of those around you. Be it a complete stranger or friends you have known for years, if it might be offensive, shut the fuck up and keep it to yourself. If it might be interpreted as off color or mis-understood due to language barriers, shut the fuck up and keep it to yourself. I have very thick skin and will make fun of myself all day long. Be that as it may, and in this era of overly politcal correctness it does not make it right for me to completely speak my mind unless I have thought out the most articulate way to do so.

Simply put: If you have nothing constructive to add to the conversation. SHUT THE FUCK UP!

[Nikon]

thank you scott and a high5 for beating the shit outta the cancer.

[mikeb]

i must be getting old but it seems to me that there's no longer any respect for other people anymore.

i glad to see you chose to get those assholes to shut up.

[highsider]

RSVMille - I'm glad you told those fucktards in the bar to shut up. My mother looked like that for a while when she had breast cancer, and it sucked watching her go through it. You seem to have a lot of balls, and I admire that.

But, this forum is just that - an internet forum. This particular site has developed into more of a community, but at the end of the day, its just a bunch of people typing onto a computer screen.

My point - if something someone else says pisses you off on an internet forum, you are taking the entire thing too seriously. There is really no reason to get upset over something says on a site like this; ignore it, or tell them why they are wrong/stupid/an asshole, and leave your emotions in your pocket.

At least, thats my two cents.

[xvrider]

Scott..I think its awesome that you stood up for that women. I totally agree that people need to be more sensitive to others feelings..As you know my mom is undergoing Chemo right now and I would be mortified if anyone ever talked about her that way...

[Kham]

but but... Highsider got a point. of course anybody w/ enough common sense knows it's not polite to talk about handy cap. what you said their may discourage people w/ little confident to speak up or ask question. few years ago i was like should i ask this? should i ask that? and now i don't give a shit too much. at least on the internet.

[Sidewinder]

AMEN BROTHER!

[Degsy]

Originally posted by highsider
..... You seem to have a lot of balls, and I admire that.

Am I the only one who spotted that one-liner???????





Seriously, nice one Scotty. I can just see you doing that.


degs

[beet]

last year i had a tumer removed from my neck i was in a bad way
it turned out ok but i lost my mother inlaw & father so i almost know how ya feel scotty
its a privilege 2 call you friend
i aways figured some one forgot 2 salt your pop corn

[Half Squid]

Horray Scotty!! Spoken from the minds of.... well most of us..

Great job in the bar with those two asshats... Some people in this world young and old are way too disrespectfull and have no common decency.

I have a friend who's wife went through cancer and lost her hair due to Kemo, she accually cut her hair off prior to the Kemo and donated it so someone one else would have a wig. she just wore bandana's and hats. She is such a strong person and survived such a terrible dissease with her head held high. She is now recovered and doing extremely well with a beautifull head of hair again. If I ever hear anyone talking like those two assholes at the bar I would have done the same thing!

Kudos Scotty! I always did like you! Your a stand up guy!

[beet]

i alway stuck for the picked on
i hate that shit ........................

[katana0215]

nice work with the two cowards in the bar. I wish more people would stick up for people in need

[MissTwisties]

It was indeed a good thing to stand up for her, because when someone talk/laugh about you behind your back and you don't know it, you can't stand up for yourself.

I have a sister with autism, and once a girl in school laugh about her mental illness so bad, I couldn't believe how heartless it was..the only thing my head and my heart told me to do is slap her across the face, and I did..hard. Now I slapped her because she insulted someone I love, a member of my family. I think it was the only time I let my emotions get me physical. People making fun of handicaps, or sick persons (mental or physical) make me sick. I would come to anyone's defense if I heard someone laughing at them, it's not right. kuddos for doing it for this lady.

[sahd03]

Although RSV's point was well made by the personal nature of the story, I don't think it was intended as a "tootin' my own horn" kind of thing... Although it was certainly a stand-up kind of thing to do.

All too often we type away in emails and forums and things get misconstrued left and right - there is so much more than words that can make or break a disccussion: tone of voice, body language, eye contact, an embarrassing blush when you take a nice bite of a foot-sandwich... all of these things which totally get lost in the black and white of typed verbiage. And ya know, some people just don't express themselves well with the written word and that, too, plays a huge part in the flame wars. It's not just here, it's a societal issue as we all become so reliant upon that silly little send button.

Now, before someone jumps all over me, there are certainly times when insisitivity is blatant and not at all a gray area (see story starting thread). But more often than not, it's something that in person would never go as far as it does here. That being said, I've never been a big forum person and I post now and then, lurking more often than not. But over the last few days I have decided that this particular forum is not for me... there's just too much animosity for such insignificant things, and it's becoming more common as time goes by and the threads start to become redunant or just rehashing of old, beaten to death topics.

Personally, I've got a beautiful boy, a husband who couldn't be more devoted, a tight knit family and a circle of friends who stand behind me every step of the way. I live in a beautiful little corner of the world and I enjoy LIVING life. I just might swear off the computer all together, aside from work related topics, and get back to letter writing and phone calls as my means of keeping in touch. So... thanks for helping me make that decision, enjoy the forum.

[Kham]

well then i suggest you keep things simple cause i dont even understand your point.

[s a x m a n]

probably one of the best posts I have ever read, should be a letter to the editor

very well said ...

[RSVMILLE661]

While I agree that arguing on the internet is useless, the weight of my message should resinate louder in a forum than in real conversation. People can not see, hear, or record a tone, inflection or gesture through a simple key stroke.

No, this is not about me standing up for what I believe is right. I know all of you would do the same thing if in my shoes.

Thank you all for the kind words. If there is one thing I have learned in the past year it's: When I choose to stare death in the face by racing it is of my own free will. When that choice is taken from you and your life is threatened by an out side force or condition it makes you realize how important everyone's feelings and impact to your daily life is.

If I can pass on some simple advice it would be; Never take any day for granted. Enjoy every detail of life to its smallest point. And above all else. LIVE.. While you are here LIVE!

[dhuze]

It never ends

Today I went to the Wrentham outlets to deliver some maniquin bases to a store. I parked at the curb and as I was ketting out of my van a lady in her late 60's tripped on a speed bump and fell in the street. There were two couples right there and were helping her get up and pick up her packages. This fucking asshole driving down the road stops and hits his horn because they were in his way. I didn't have time to do anything because they were far enough away I wouldn't have got there in time to help, but this big bastard was and he went right up to the car and gave him hell. I think he was going to kick his ass but the guy in the car sped away with the quickness after. He was a little bastard too. I hope his shit his pants. Kudo's to the ones who helped the lady up.

And Kudo's to you to Scott. Respect is not taught anymore and it makes me sick.

[Kham]

i'll bet some of you wouldn't have much of a patience if you lived in the city for the rest of your life. im not giving much thought to this then i forget to live. right?

[Uncle Snake]

Hey Aprilia guy, nice work!

Kham, doesn't make any difference where you live, a prick is a prick.

Everyone, Do what YOU think is right. Take your own path.

I too am a "survivor". I finished 2 1/2 years of chemo in April of this year. The last 2 years was weekly and yes, I had my "bad hair" days as well so I get it. Most people suck and I want to punch them, although I don't, usually. Regards, Snake

[Dianne]

Nice job Scottie, both with the men at the restraunt and your post here. Also, many congrats on kicking the cancer.

I always knew you were one of the good guys.

[Kham]

Originally posted by Uncle Snake
Hey Aprilia guy, nice work!

Kham, doesn't make any difference where you live, a prick is a prick.

Everyone, Do what YOU think is right. Take your own path.

I too am a "survivor". I finished 2 1/2 years of chemo in April of this year. The last 2 years was weekly and yes, I had my "bad hair" days as well so I get it. Most people suck and I want to punch them, although I don't, usually. Regards, Snake

yea it does. you live under the pressure everyday and we'll see.

[Kham]

im gonna waste few minutes here again of my life and im pretty sure this isn't gonna offend anybody. if it does, well too bad. :

budha tells me if you make fun of handycap, you will become handcap someday. so no need to stand up cause if you do you only want to showoff how bad ass you are. what if the other guy is twice your size or or a group of gangster. you still gonna showoff? it's not worth it right? cause nobody gets hurt.

in the case of somone getting beat up then by all means help the guy.

that's all. simple.

[Honclfibr]

Someone didn't read the title of this thread

[Kham]

damn!

ok im offended. could someone standup for me?

ah .. fuck it! :