[nhroketboy]

If you can't ride a wheelie out of first gear, does that make you a squid?

If you ride in shorts, no shirt and gloves, does that make you a squid?

If you have trouble finding where to put the gas in, squid?

If you bought a bike because you thought the color scheme was cool... squid?

If your most impressive mod is the key chain..?

Rich
929rr
Honda Keychain

LOL!!! Ok...here goes....

If you can't ride a wheelie out of first gear, does that make you a squid?

No...just not eager to hurt yourself, or not crazy. They kinda go hand in hand tho.

If you ride in shorts, no shirt and gloves, does that make you a squid?

Errrmph....no shirt and gloves (as in, wearing gloves with no shirt?). Yah.

If you have trouble finding where to put the gas in, squid?

Uhm, prolly not...but if someone doesn't know how to put gas in it they should get some more education regarding their ride.

If you bought a bike because you thought the color scheme was cool... squid?

Yes/no? I say, if you bought it for the colors, but are interested in becoming (or already are) a skilled rider...then no. If you bought it for the soul purpose of appearing 'better' to the general public and opposite sex, then definately yes.

If your most impressive mod is the key chain..?

LOL! Isn't that the mod of all mods?

Rich
929rr
Honda Keychain

Alright...I gotta follow up on myself here. I have one basic definition of a squid.

Squid: one who does not respect the bike, who does not respect or know his/her own limits, who does not respect the safety of others, or lack thereof, caused by his/her actions on said bike.

I think if someone can ride well, and makes good decisions on the street...then their gear or choice of bike colors hold no significant meaning. Not wearing gear doesn't put anyone else at risk, right? I like to wear gear (though sometimes I don't if it's fuckin' THAT hot)...but I don't care if anyone else does.

Now, the jackass at the beach with 3" of virgin rubber (and we all know how to tell the difference between true virgin rubber, and the rubber that just hasn't been touched today...cuz people get confused about that) on the sides of his tires, wearing shorts and flip flops (and oakleys, of course), telling me how he was running from the cops last weekend and had it leaned over so far it was chattering the tires and dragging parts...but he got away..... No THAT FUCKING GUY IS A SQUID!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, and did I mention that's a true story? Guy rode a TLR too...hehe.

[Edited on 7/26/01 by JC]

[nhroketboy]

Thanks JC. You had me laughing and crying. I had written my own obituary to post as a joke but realized that might be pushing the "tolerance" envelope.

I was only kidding about being a squid. I was a little bored this morning.

My big thing is that I haven't been on a sportbike in awhile. My last one was an '88 Katana, if you count that as a sportbike. I've been on Intruders and Vulcans since the early 90's. I came back to sportbikes to make myself feel younger? Turned 31 this year and the grays are starting to come in. I realize that the 929 is more bike than I can handle now and I probably will never be able to handle it. My learning curve is probably going to be pretty big. I am just very thankful I didn't get this bike when I was 20, or else they would really be posting my obit.

PS- I'd still like to figure out how to ride a wheelie into 2nd, 3rd, 4TH... 5TH... 6TH... 7TH!!! Wait, I only have four speeds right?

LOL! I didn't think you were even talking about yourself really...but that had me laughing my ass off replying to your questions...lol!

[Stoneman]

Oh, and did I mention that's a true story? Guy rode a TLR too...hehe.

You PROMISED you wouldn't tell!!

[nhroketboy]

I can't claim this as mine, as some of you squids probably already seen this.....


"Here is guide on how to be the ultimate squid."


1-Ride an R1.
2-Brag about how fast your bike will be when you turbo it. BONUS POINT: You ride an FRZ 400.
3-Apply conflicting manufacturer stickers on your bike, meanwhile keeping the component stock. Example: Apply Yoshimura, Micron, Akrapovic, and D&D stickers while you still have the stock exhaust.
4-$1200 exhaust, $2000 aftermarket rims, Ohlins suspension, fully polished frame, $50 helmet
5-Let the air out of your tires. Ride around the block a few times. Reinflate you tires. Show your buddies your tires and brag about how fast you can corner your bike.
6-Limit riding gear to the following: sandals, shorts, Oaklies and gold rope chain.
7-Buy a new R6. It must be blue. Using aerosol paint, repaint it to match the red/white 1998 R1. Do not remove body work while painting it in your driveway. Do not remove any overspray. Apply all the necessary R1 decals. When somebody asks you about it, claim it is a 1997 prototype you bought from the Yamaha factory racing team. (This will prove you squidlyess on many different levels.)
8-When you try to pull a stoppie and fail, blame your jetting.
9-Buy full leathers. Wear them year round, even if it is 155 degrees. BONUS POINT:
10-Grind the knee sliders on your dad’s bench sander so you look like you can drag your knee.
11-Buy a Hayabusa for your first street bike because you don’t want a slow bike like the ZX12. BONUS POINT: Make your parents pay for everything. DOUBLE POINTS: You turned 16 last week.
12-Put wrecked plastic on your new bike, and brag about how you highsided it.
13-Go ahead, sit on that 916 in the corner of the parking lot. The owner won’t care. BONUS POINT: When you can’t figure out the suicide kick stand, drop it and walk away.
14-When cruising the strip, stand up. Stick your ass way up in the air and wail the throttle. BONUS POINT: Make sure the front tire never leaves the ground.
15-Go to the superbike races and talk about how Honda is going to give you a factory ride next year.
16-Put a NASCAR sticker on your bike. BONUS POINT: Make it Jeff Gordan sticker.
17-Tell everybody about all of the Harleys you have beaten.
18-Try your first wheelie in front of a crowd. BONUS POINT: Make sure there is a cop trying to break up the crowd.
19-Find the fastest, coolest guy in town and take his picture. Use this picture at your local dealer to purchase everything this guy has. IE: bike, jacket, helmet, exhaust, etc. Everything must be the same color. (The Harley guys do it.)
20-Halfway install performance components. When some body notices, make a lameass excuse. EXAMPLE: I didn’t hook up the nitrous because the muffler bearings will corrode faster. But, I had to leave the bottle on because it covers up the holes I drilled in the frame.
21-When installing your flush mount turn signals, mount them on the wind screen. Drilling two 1/8 inch holes in your plastics would be stupid. BONUS POINT: Make sure that Hellen Keller could have mounted them straighter.
22-When you can’t start your new R1, take it to the dealer. When he starts it, don’t ask him what he did. After you can’t duplicate his achievement, ask several friends for help. When your friends ask how far back do you pull the choke lever, reply, “What is the choke?”
23-Insist on running nothing but racing fuel. So what if your motor is all stock.
24-The only performance mod to your 1994 FZR: extended swing arm.
25-Buy a green Ninja. Remove all but 1 decal in order to expose all of the green. BONUS POINT: Wear nothing but a bright green. Green helmet, green jacket, green gloves, and green shoes.
26-Use a motocross helmet on the street. Refuse to purchase a street helmet on the grounds it has poor aerodynamics.
27-Memorize and quote every spec for a 1998 R1. BONUS POINT: You know all of the differences between a ‘98 and ‘01 R1.
28-Talk smack about how hard core you are. When some body asks you why your 6 year old bike has 870 miles, reply, “it is my girlfriends bike.”
29-When leaving a red light, refuse to lift your right foot off of the pavement until you are in at least 3 rd gear.
30-Replace all the factory plastic with race plastic, and never put bike on the track.
31-Dump $5000 into your motor and $0 into suspension.
32-Apply at least 5 decals to your bike for products you have no idea about. Try: Agip, Bel Ray, Motul, LBZ, and Yoyodyne.
33-You can never have enough neons. You need at least 8 bulbs.B
34-Apply Armor All to every possible surface. Include at least: seat, grips, chain guard, and tires. Comment to your self “Damn, that looks good.”
35-Never under any circumstance perform any maintence to the chain. Let that rusty thing sag to the ground.
36-Put on the darkest tinted windscreen possible. Use a tinted visor. And wear sunglasses simultaneously.


------------------
R1's are like fat chicks.
Fun to ride until your friends catch you!

Good shit!

[snowborder]

Great list Rich;

We need this as a link from the front home page. hahahahaahhah

Todd

[eug]

Yeah, let's put it up as rules and whoever can't figure that it is a joke probably should not be here.

[R7]

I've seen them thare lines posted before. They should however change the bike from a R1 to a GSXR, it's only fair!! How many GSXR's do you see on a SPORTRIDE?? enuff said

Mark (king squid/poser)
99 R7
01 R6

[GadgettR1]

FUCK.. just saw this post and realized hey is he talking about me? lol

1-Ride an R1.
2-Brag about how fast your bike will be when you turbo it.
4-$1200 exhaust, $2000 aftermarket rims
27-Memorize and quote every spec for a 1998 R1. BONUS POINT: You know all of the differences between a ‘98 and ‘01 R1

[theothersean]

wait, you can let the air out of your tires and ride around the block to get ride of those "chicken strips" on the edges of the tires?
Seems easier than sand paper
--sean--
00zx7R