[Uncle Snake]

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN: Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.? If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower.? Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.? Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.

[Half Squid]

[Jaynnus]

Woo-Woo!!!!

[hessogood]

HAHAHA

[ducatiwheelie]

too funny.....made my day

[OreoGitorio]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

To the fucking T!

(cept I don't leave butthairs on the bar of soap (liquid soap) I don't throw my towel on the bed (hang it up & walk around nekid), I don't pee in the shower and I don't have a woman to shake my willy at, otherwise i would )

[Bhavesh]

Hahahahaha


Although some of the guy stuff is an exaggeration, some of it is also true.

[ChrisNoF4i]

Troof = funny

[Legion1440]

WOO-WOO.....thanks alot, i'm gonna be doing that for the next few weeks now. the gf is gonna chop it off, lol.

[MissTwisties]

Originally posted by Bhavesh
Although some of the guy stuff is an exaggeration, some of it is also true.

You think?? Not exagerated AT ALL...(except for the Mohawk thingy, 'cause Man God doesn't have one hair on his head).thank God if YOU'RE different, what's your name?

[neuthunder]

you forgot to carry the beer into the shower with you and to drink in between the cleaning of each body part

[JeffL]

If you dont pee in the shower, you truly arent a man.

[OreoGitorio]

Originally posted by JeffL
If you dont pee in the shower, you truly arent a man.

I only pee in public showers and public pools

[JeffL]

I pee pretty much everywhere!!

I'd be taking the male ability for granted if I didnt just pee anywhere I wanted any time I needed to. Its a god given skill and you'd be a fool not to use it!! I pee on trees, rocks, grass, machinery all day at work!

Good fun, you should try it.

[Dianne]

Funny shit...

[chr|s sedition]

once again...i'm left wondering...is that shit for REAL? Cucumber-mint pumice face conditioner? are you kidding me?

[Dianne]

Just so Chris knows it is pretty real, ladies post up yer shower contents. I think even the married men might be surprised. My Man God doesnt even know what half the crap in there is.

In my shower: vanilla-plum shampoo, vanilla-plum conditioner, awapuhi shampoo and conditioner (for when I'm feeling fruity), cocoa and shea butter body wash, butterscotch creme body wash, lavender shaving gel and razor, apricot facial scrub, Noxzema face wash, Irish spring soap, pumice stone and a few other unmentionables. Thats not counting the rest of the junk in the bathroom that isnt in the shower.

[OreoGitorio]

Originally posted by ilcl75
awapuhi shampoo and conditioner (for when I'm feeling fruity)

I'll be suprised if Chris isn't already familiar w/ that one

[chr|s sedition]

Originally posted by ilcl75
vanilla-plum....vanilla-plum...awapuhi... cocoa...butter...butterscotch...apricot

damn. so you go to the produce section of the grocery story to take a shower? that's messed up. hah. the things I learn on this site...I dont think I've ever even used 'conditioner'. I'm sure the Fab Five would kill me for asking this, but what is a 'pumice'?

[chr|s sedition]

Originally posted by OreoGaborio
I'll be suprised if Chris isn't already familiar w/ that one

naw, when I'm feeling fruity, it's all about Starbursts...mmm...but I dont think i can use those as "shower accesory", can I?

[mostly.lurking]

Originally posted by chr|s sedition
... I'm sure the Fab Five would kill me for asking this, but what is a 'pumice'?

Volcanic rock used to exfoliate. It's actually the gritty stuff in Lava soap, IIRC.

Works in place of a file on soft metals, too.

[Teez]

That is too funny! My shower contents: Oatmeal moisturizing shaving cream, Milk and Honey body wash, tea tree facial wash, replenishing shampoo and conditioner with rose hips and jojoba, oil of olay in shower moisturizer and one pink venus razor neatly hung from it's holder.


My husbands shower stuff: Pert plus, foo foo body wash that I buy him and foo facial cleanser ( that I buy him!)

[chr|s sedition]

Originally posted by mostly.lurking
Volcanic rock used to exfoliate. It's actually the gritty stuff in Lava soap, IIRC.

Works in place of a file on soft metals, too.

exfoliate?

[R7]

My shower has a bar of ivory soap in it

[Gixxer_Princess]

That's Great