[Nikon]

For all of those that remember one of the best ongoing skits ever on SNL, I have a question. If you recall they used to idolize one guy in some of the skits. They would say his name and talk about how he was 7 feet tall, he'd done this and that - indestructable type. What the hell was the guys name? THey would tell stories about him and such. I can't of any other way to describe it but I know someone has to know what I am talking about. In one fo the skits they were talking about this guy, toasting to him and he got up from the bar and totally overshadowed them - like he was 7' tall and like 400 lbs.

Anyone?

[pinkchik71]

Andre the giant? The WWF wrestler?

[Nikon]

Originally posted by pinkchik71
Andre the giant? The WWF wrestler?

nah - it's a football player I think. I have the name on the tip of my tongue I just can't get it out....

[Degsy]

william 'refrigerator' perry?

[OreoGitorio]

"HERE'S TO BILLLLLL BRAAAAASKY!!!"

too bad that's from another skit, not the "DAAA BEARS" skit, but it's still funny shit & maybe it's what you're thinkin of.


"Bill Brasky is a son of a bitch!"

"Bill Brasky is the father of every kid in this town!"

"Bill Brasky once showed me a video of him making love to my wife, and it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw!"

"One time I was with Brasky in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Brasky goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm Bill Brasky! SAY IT!' Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'Billbrasky' ... It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!'"

"He'd eat a homeless person if you dared him!"

"His poop is used as currency in Argentina."

"He sweats Gatorade"

"He once breast-fed a flamingo back to health."

"He hated Mexicans! And he was half Mexican! .......And he hated irony!"

"I once saw him scissor kick Angela Landsbury."

"He sheds his skin once a year."

"He makes brooms somewhere in Georgia."

"He did 3 tours in 'Nam...... I was in Corpus Christi on business a month ago. I had this eight foot tall Asian waiter, which made me curious. I asked him his name. Sure enough it's Ho Tran Brasky!"

"I once saw him eat a whole live chicken."

"His favorite movie is 'One on One' with Robby Benson."

"He sleeps eight hours a night! ........ well, he was pretty normal when it came to that."

"Bill Brasky was a two ton man-mountain who could palm a medicine ball!"

"Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Brasky takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Brasky yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!'"

"Bill Brasky had a four day heart attack...a day for each chamber. At the autopsy, they said his heart looked like a basketball filled with riccotta cheese."

"He once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road."

"He taught me how to make love to a woman, and how to scold a child."

"They found $60 in change in his stomach."

"He did all the makeup on the 'Planet of the Apes' movie."

"He grew a 3rd arm and kept it in a vault."

"Brasky drank a full glass of liquid LSD with his eggs. Then he slept for 8 months straight. When he woke he rubbed his eyes and said, 'All in all, I prefer gin.'"

"They say Gene Roddenbery got the idea for Star Trek from listening to Brasky talk in his sleep."

"He date raped David Bowie."

"He once inhaled a seagull."

"The Pope told him it was ok to have a mistress."

"It was the sight of Brasky's naked body that drove Brian Wilson insane."

"He once had sex with a cigarette machine."

"He killed Wolfman Jack with a trident."

"He uses the Shroud of Turin as a golf towel."

"He once ate the Bible while water skiing."

"He drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls."

"He sired a baseball team.. an orchestra if you count the bastards!"

"You know, he would shoot whiskey into his neck with a syringe!"

"He has dandruff the size of mice!"

"He jogged with a fridge on his back!"

"Bill Brasky was a 10 foot monster who slept with all our wives! And punched us all in the face! And we loved him for it!"

"His first name is Bill! ....... I'm drunk."

"He's a ten foot tall beastman who showers in vodka and feeds his baby shrimp scampi."

"He orchestrated the merger between Unicef and Smith & Wessen."

"He went public with his own buttocks and made $7 million."

"Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky went hunting? Brasky decides he's going to hunt down all four of the Banana Splits. He stalks and kills every one of them with a machette. They all begged for their lives...except Fleagle."

"We once had a bachelor party for Brasky. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it."

"Brasky once hosted the Grammys and gave every award to Corey Hart."

"He has a toenail on the end of his penis."

"Brasky once got his wife pregnant and gave birth to a delicious 16 ounce steak. The after birth was sauteed mushrooms."

"Brasky's family crest is a picture of a baracudda eating Neil Armstrong."

"Brasky ranked 18th in the AP College Football Pool."

"Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky was in a production of, 'The King & I?' On opening night, Brasky chloroforms the entire cast and slowly eats them in front of the audience for two hours. The production got pretty good reviews."

"He breastfeeds John Madden."

"Brasky named the group Sha-Na-Na. They did NOT want to be called that."

"If you drop a phonograph needle on Brasky's nipple, it plays the Beach Boys' 'Pet Sounds.'"

"They use Brasky's foreskin as a tarp when it rains at Yankee stadium."

"Brasky directed that commercial where the women play basketball in high heels."

"All the 'Yes' album covers are Brasky family photos."

"He wears a live rattlesnake as a condom."

"Did I ever tell you about the time he taught his son how to drive? He did it by entering him in the Indy 500. The kid wrecked and died. Brasky said it would've happened sometime."

"Brasky's semen can form into a liquid human - like the guy from 'Terminator 2'"

"Brasky still believes in Santa Claus, and he wants to put him in porno films."

"He thinks then iron man is gay."

"He framed Roger Rabbit."

"The character of Johnny Appleseed was based on Brasky - except for the apple tree planting and not raping men."

"He gave a handjob to a manta ray."

[Nikon]

Thanks Petey - you are useful for something.

[Little John]

Mike Ditka, I believe.

[odduc]

Definitely Ditka !

[slaps76]

The Brasky skits are some of my favorites...awesome.

[Nikon]

Originally posted by slaps76
The Brasky skits are some of my favorites...awesome.

it's the one I was looking for - I was WAY off with the whole Da Bears thing though...

[OreoGitorio]

oh man... i just read that whole list i posted.... holy funny hell

here's some transcripts

http://ubersite.com/m/11885

[OreoGitorio]

First Friend of Brasky: Bill Brasky is a son of a bitch! Do you fellas know Bill Brasky?

Second Friend of Brasky: Hell yeah, I know Bill Brasky! He's a big fella, goes about 6'4", 280. He loves his Scotch!

Third Friend of Brasky: He does! He's a hell of a salesman!

Fourth Friend of Brasky: To Bill Brasky!

Together: Bill Brasky!!

Third: Did you know Bill Brasky is the godfather of my son?

Fourth: Bill Brasky?

First: He's a big fella!

Second: Oh yeah, he's a big guy! Goes about 6'7", 385.

Third: Well, anyway.. he shows up at the church in his golf pants, caked in mud. Well, ol' Bill Brasky pushes the priest aside and says, "I'll baptize that piece of calamari!" Then he pours Scotch all over my baby son and says, "There! You're baptized!"

Fourth: And your son is blind to this day!

First: Yeah, he makes brooms somewhere in Georgia, doesn't he?

Third: I have no idea. [ pause ] To Bill Brasky!

Together: Bill Brasky!!

Second: Did I ever tell you about the time Bill Brasky sold me into slavery?

First: Well, if you're talking about Bill Brasky, I believe it!

Second: Oh, yeah! He puts me on a ship to Thailand, right? And I'm chained to a pipe. Meanwhile, ol' Brasky, he's back in the States siring three beautiful children with my wife!

First: I hate Bill Brasky.. but I respect him!

Guy At Bar: Are you talking about Bill Brasky? I know Bill Brasky!

First: Then let me buy you a round!

Third: Hey, easy, Hank, easy.. To Bill Brasky!

Together: Bill Brasky!!

Fourth: Did I ever tell you about the time Bill Brasky showed up at my daughter's wedding? You know my daughter; she's a beautiful girl.

First: I tell you, I'd like to have sex with her!

Fourth: Well, Brasky shows up.. and you know he's a big fella.

Third: Goes about 7'8", 530.

Fourth: Well, he's standing right between me and my daughter at the ceremony. He's got no right to be there, but he's drunk and he's Brasky! Well, long story short: the priest accidentally marries Brasky and me! [ the guys laugh ] Off! Off! Off! We spend the weekend in the Pocono's - he loves me like I've never been loved before!

Second: Best damn salesman in the office!

Together: Bill Brasky!!

Third: You know how Brasky served three tours in 'Nam?

Fourth: Uh-huh!

Third: Well, I'm in Corpus Christi on business a month ago, and I had this eight-foot tall Asian waiter.. which made me a little curious, so I asked him his name, and sure enough it's Ho Tran Brasky!

First: To William Robert Brasky!

Second: Oh, yeah!

Fourth: Hey, you ever go camping with Brasky?

Third: Many times.

First: I went camping with Brasky, his wife, and his daughter Debbie!

Third: Debbie Brasky?

First: Debbie Brasky. She's 7-years-old, goes about 3'5", 55 pounds. So, I'm in the back of a pickup with Bill Brasky and a live deer! Well, Brasky, he grabs the deer by the antlers, looks at it and says, "I'm Bill Brasky! Say it!" Then he squeezes the deer in such a way that a sound comes out of its mouth - "Billbrasky!" It wasn't exactly it, but it was pretty good for a deer!

Third: That's Bill Brasky!

Together: Bill Brasky!!

Fourth: I once saw him eat a whole live chicken.

First: His favorite movie is "One on One" with Robby Benson.

Fourth: Bill Brasky once gave me a videotape of him having sex with my wife, and it was the most beautiful damn thing I ever saw!

Second: I have that tape!

Guy At Bar: [ turning around ] So do I!

Third: To Bill Brasky! A ten-foot-tall, two-ton son of a bitch who could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing!

Together: Bill Brasky!!

Big Booming Voice: [ from extremely tall figure in upper camera angle ] Did someone say Bill Brasky?

Together: BILL BRASKY!!