[rjh200]

This story takes a little background: Ian works in a coffee, bagels and sandwiches trailer on the campus of UNH. Vinnie is his boss and the owner of the truck, and this actually happened. Ian is telling the story.
This declaration of the stupid award goes to a customer today. Below is an approximate conversation with her.


Her: Yes, I’d like a milk with some coffee in it.

Me: So, that’s just a splash of coffee in a milk?

Her: No, a regular amount of milk, but not coffee.

Me: Is there more milk or coffee?

Her: Oh, definitely more coffee.

Me: So that’s a coffee with some extra milk.

Her: Just the usual amount of milk.

Me: A coffee with milk.

Her: Yes.

Me: Anything else?

Her: A little extra milk, and do you have coffee with no caffeine?

Me: We do have decaf.

Her: No, I don’t want decaf, just some coffee without the caffeine.

Me: Ma’am, that’s what decaf means—no caffeine.

Her: Oh...then do you have milk with no caffeine?

Me: Milk doesn’t come with caffeine.

Her: Yes it does.

Me: Not that I know of—where do you get your milk?

Her: It doesn’t say caffeine-free on the milk, so it must have caffeine.

Me: Oh, you’re right. My mistake—I forgot that we only get the decaf milk. No problem, we have only decaf milk. Anything else?

Her: Do you have any bagels?

Vinnie (who has been listening all along): I’m sorry, ma’am, we’re all out of decaf bagels.

Her: Oh, well, then I’ll have one of those with sesame seeds.

Vinnie: We’re all out, ma’am.

Her: Well, what are those [pointing at sesame bagels]?

Vinnie: Those are sesame donuts with extra caffeine added.

Her: I guess I’ll just have the coffee. Do you take credit cards?

Me: No, ma’am; cash only.

Her: What about Visa?

Me: Is that a credit card?

Her: Well, yes.

Vinnie: Is it cash?

Her: No.

Vinnie: Then, no, we can’t take it.

Her: What about checks?

Me: Cash, ma’am; nothing else.

Her: OK. How much is that?

Vinnie: Eleven dollars and 45 cents.

Her: Really?

Vinnie: New war in Alaska is ruining the coffee business. Plus you wanted the coffee with no caffeine; that’s hard to find now—had to grow it myself.

Her: OK. [proceeds to write a check]

Vinnie: Please leave.

Her: Why?

Vinnie: You’re raising my blood pressure. Leave now.

Her: But what about my coffee?

Vinnie: Leave and never return.

She leaves, but pays the $11.45 first. I’m serious.

[Nikon]

[bigred875]

[highsider]

Thats great.

[CagedInside]

That can't be real.

[odduc]

[hessogood]

HA! I would have toyed with her much more. Should have had her make the check out to you for $200. Service fees and all...

[Degsy]

I read that one a couple of years ago.

[Punjistick]

what's her name and number? she might be a fun date

[Skrizzle]

Too much reading....

Originally posted by Degsy
I read that one a couple of years ago.

It must be one of the "this happened to my brothers sister boyfirends uncles cousin.... and I swear he never lies" stories...but it is humerous.
Lee