[FNG]

Limited Edition NH Barbie

Mattel recently announced the release of Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for
the New Hampshire Market:

Bedford Barbie
This princess Barbie is only sold at exclusive Bedford stores. She comes
with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.

Concord Barbie
This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or
secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.


Manchester Barbie
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only
available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

Amherst Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer h3. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You
won't be able to afford any of them.

Laconia Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six pack of Coors light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she's drunk. Purchase her pickup truck
separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Loon Barbie
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print ski outfit
and drinks Cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the lodge. Optional
Percocet prescription available.

Claremont Barbie
This tobacco chewing, brassy haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gutted Ken out of Newport Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low rise acid washed jeans,
fake finger nails, and a see through halter top. Also available with a mobile
home and 8-track tape player.

Peterborough Barbie
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Montpelier Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.

Hanover Barbie
This Barbie comes with her own mountain bike. Available with SUV, complete
with Kayak on the roof and dog in the back. Optional Ken doll also comes with his own mountain bike and dog.

Franklin Barbie
This Barbie is only 14 and comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional
accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.


Litchfield Barbie: age 14 , knocked up and unsure of who the daddy is, has
sorry ass overbite and works at the farmers market on Sundays
accessories include the ABC flashcards she never mastered, two hollowed out Gremlins/pacers for parking on front lawn and a years supply
of spam for those special family reunion/find a mate get together at the
Elks lodge.

[ancosta]

Loon Barbie
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print ski outfit
and drinks Cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the lodge. Optional
Percocet prescription available.

ROFL...so true

Percocet is to tune out bratty teenage children after they come back from snow park. Best taken after eating at Gordi's but before going to back to the $300k luxury slopeside condominum fabricated out of 1/2" particleboard circa 1985. (I remember those developments going up by the WEEK)

[Stoneman]

Barnstead Barbie...

This Barbie is in her mid-30's and comes with an assortment of 80's only clothes (leg warmers, torn jeans, puffy sweaters that expose cMan God belly). Her hair changes colors every 3 months, is extrememly tall and is brittle from all the colorings. Teeth are optional, highly desirable Barnstead Barbies come without. Also included are rusted out washer, dryer & refridgerator for front yard. Limited editions also include stripped IROC Z28 on cinder blocks. Often sporting a black eye and fat lip...

[dhuze]

The Laconia and Franklin Barbies are spot on.

[Stoneman]

Originally posted by dhuze
The Laconia and Franklin Barbies are spot on.

Growing up in Bedford, I can say that one's pretty close too...

[Dianne]

Originally posted by Stoneman
Growing up in Bedford, I can say that one's pretty close too...

So wheres my Kate Spade handbag and my Lexus SUV?

[Stoneman]

Originally posted by ilcl75
So wheres my Kate Spade handbag and my Lexus SUV?

Ha! Ask my sister. I never subscribed to the typical 'Bedford lifestyle' while she embraced it as my parents still do...

[Dianne]

I know what you mean there. Moved to Liberty Hill Road (right next to McKelvie School) from Strafford as a teenager. Man was that an adjustment! The other girls just didnt wanna go ride 4 wheelers and dirtbikes! Nor did they want to play basketball in the elementary school b-ball court right next to my house. They wanted to go get their hair done instead. Geesh.

[Stoneman]

Originally posted by ilcl75
I know what you mean there. Moved to Liberty Hill Road (right next to McKelvie School) from Strafford as a teenager. Man was that an adjustment! The other girls just didnt wanna go ride 4 wheelers and dirtbikes! Nor did they want to play basketball in the elementary school b-ball court right next to my house. They wanted to go get their hair done instead. Geesh.

You've got PM...

[Doc]

What about
Loudon Barbie
The sportbikers wet dream Barbie is only sold at NHIS. Early 20's, owns a 2007 GSXR 750 streetbike, a Honda Hawk GT (). Has a down payment on the new Ducati 1098. Drives a New Toyota Pacoma Doublecab. Comes with Race Leathers, helmet race trailer and a Bikini.
Works as a Sportbike Mechanic and Race's Amateur at NHIS on Race weekends. (Quickly advancing) Previous winner of Good Housekeepings best Homemaker award and Plaboy Bunny August 06.

[mikeb]

Originally posted by ilcl75
I know what you mean there. Moved to Liberty Hill Road (right next to McKelvie School) from Strafford as a teenager. Man was that an adjustment! The other girls just didnt wanna go ride 4 wheelers and dirtbikes! Nor did they want to play basketball in the elementary school b-ball court right next to my house. They wanted to go get their hair done instead. Geesh.

ha thats nothing! i moved from sanford maine to fucking rye. i show up first day to school with my ripped jeans and black sabbath t-shirt. you would have thought i was from another planet( well i was from maine). good thing i liked to fight and spoiled rich kids are pussies.

that remark about peterborough is true aswell. lots of hippie keene is the same way.

[jwm2k3]

Seabrook Barbie??......