[chr|s sedition]

Mom works at a convent. She isn't a nun. She isn't even Catholic. Many of the nuns are CRAZY (i.e. have some serious mental health / mood disorders). Some of you have heard the stories. Mom called yesterday and reminded me of a story from last summer:


Finding and keeping a job is never easy when your married to Jesus, have issues with your temper, and could "go off" at any moment. Enter Sister Darcy. Part of her old job was taking nuns to the grocery store in the convent van. This was good for Darcy, because it allowed her to "get out into the community, but not too much." Perhaps it was a bit too much.

After losing her driving license for drag-racing the Convent van (caught twice, and causing several minor accidents on public roads), Sister Darcy was sent to help out at the book fairs. Mother Superior thought this would be a great new job for her. It didn't work out. She ended up in jail.

At her first book fair, someone questioned her on the price of a book. This was enough to make her "go off." She "hault-off and belted the man" (Mom's exact words). Knocked him out. Police were called. She was still "going-off" when law enforcement arrived. She then hit a cop, too. She was arrested for assault.

Now, Sister Darcy has a new, safe, contained job. She sorts the mail for the Convent. She is also not allowed to attend large gatherings anymore, as they are afraid she will hit someone else.

[Tricky Mike]

Sounds like she just needs some good old fashioned mosh-pitting. Ah, if only she had found Slayer instead of Jesus.

[ChrisNoF4i]

Originally posted by Banky
All every woman really wants, be it mother, senator, nun, is some serious deep-dickin'.

[Fatman]

Too bad I'm Asian, no deep dicking possible...

[chr|s sedition]

Originally posted by trickphoto
If only she had found Slayer instead of Jesus.

Best quote, ever.

[highsider]

Sedition, that is a funny mothafuckin story.

I want to drag race a nun.

[TheIglu]

I've drag raced a clown.

[Tricky Mike]

Originally posted by TheIglu
I've drag raced a clown.

Ha.
Is that a literal or figurative statement?
I mean, was he a "clown" or was he really dressed up as a clown?

[mikeb]

two questions:
did she win those drag races?
can nuns fight in the ufc?

[JeffL]

I totally believe this story. Where else do you think they came up with the fighting nun punching dolls?

[chr|s sedition]

Mom has worked there for awhile. There are many, many stories.

http://nunhouse.blogspot.com

[OreoGitorio]

Originally posted by TheIglu
I've drag raced a clown.

Hey, i'm not a clown.... and i whooped your ass w/ a trailer & a bike in tow

... unless you're talkin bout a different clown?

[MissTwisties]

Originally posted by Fatman
Too bad I'm Asian, no deep dicking possible...

hahahaha!!!!

[beet]

Come on nun fucker lets fight

[Jank]

Great plan! Now she'll just "Go Postal"!!!!

[TheIglu]

Yes, a clown.

Driving a minivan.

Full suit, with nose and everything.

We won.

[Tricky Mike]

Originally posted by TheIglu
Yes, a clown.

Driving a minivan.

Full suit, with nose and everything.

We won.

That image just made my day...

[TheIglu]

Originally posted by trickphoto
That image just made my day...

It was better than you could ever imagine.

Picture this:

5 geeky college freshmen in a light blue '92 Olds Cutlass Cierra (his mom's car)

11:00pm on a weeknight

hot as hell out

We had just traveled three towns over to get Dairy Queen. Rest assured we were all sugared up and antsy in the pantsy.

Stop light, two lane, merging to a single lane 200 yards up in the middle of the college campus.

We pull up to the light next to a green Caravan. Driver side window is open.

Kid sitting in the passenger seat up front turns his head while we are all carrying on about trucks and computers.

Suddenly the car is quiet and we hear him say "Hello Clown."

We all look over and there is a fully dressed clown driving the minivan. My buddy Rich yells from the backseat "HEY CLOWN, WANNA RACE!!!!??? WOOOOO!!!!!".

Clown replies "It's not funny to beat a clown."

To which we all reply "YEAH IT IS!!!"

Just then the light goes green and Paul pins it. So does the clown. We ended up taking him while leaning out the windows yelling and shaking our fists.

Right after we get in front of him it goes to single lane. We then have to lock up the tires to slow down enough to take a right into our dorm parking lot. Clown almost rear ends us.

Nobody belived us for the longest time that we beat a clown.

Funny thing is that Paul is coming up tonight to visit from Maryland and we're going out for Indian food. YUM. I'll have to let him know that I have spoken of that magical night to others. He later totaled the car head on into a telephone pole while trying to keep up with me in my '85 Golf loaded with 5 kids on a snowy road with bald tires. He was alone in his car, had traction control and abs. All of the sudden my roomie shouts to me "Uh Clay? Paul isn't behind us anymore....". I ebrake it, whip it around and see headlights down the road. We get closer to see Paul trying to put it in reverse to back off of the telephone pole. Mind you, the pole was a good 4 feet into the hood of the car in the dead center.

What a fun start to New Years Eve. I remember him calling his mom. The exact words he used were "So I put a dent in the hood of the car. It's not bad though."

[Punjistick]

Originally posted by TheIglu
"So I put a dent in the hood of the car. It's not bad though."

[Tricky Mike]

Originally posted by TheIglu
Clown almost rear ends us.

Haaaaa.
I can just picture the clown white-knuckling it in the rear-view mirror. Fucking priceless!

[Fatman]

Originally posted by TheIglu
He later totaled the car head on into a telephone pole while trying to keep up with me in my '85 Golf loaded with 5 kids on a snowy road with bald tires. He was alone in his car, had traction control and abs. All of the sudden my roomie shouts to me "Uh Clay? Paul isn't behind us anymore....". I ebrake it, whip it around and see headlights down the road. We get closer to see Paul trying to put it in reverse to back off of the telephone pole. Mind you, the pole was a good 4 feet into the hood of the car in the dead center.

What a fun start to New Years Eve. I remember him calling his mom. The exact words he used were "So I put a dent in the hood of the car. It's not bad though."

That was quite an interesting night. Was that the New Year's we were playing CS?

[TheIglu]

Originally posted by Fatman
That was quite an interesting night. Was that the New Year's we were playing CS?

Sure was. We also bought them retarded sized steaks that didn't even fit on the grill!

YUM. I want steak right NOW.

[beet]

I just finished a sirloin tip & home frys was good