[CQ7String]

Hi folks. I haven't posted here in ages, but I hope everyone's doing great and keepin' the shiny side up. I hope Mick's still crazy, Brent is still gay, and Stoneman still has the best nipples this side of the pond.

I found this while sorting some old crap, and think I posted it around the first week or two NESR was actually started, when Josh and I just started the site and needed crap for the articles section. I giggled, hopefully you will too.

Have a safe summer everyone.

- CQ



CQ's Guide To Making a Harley Davidson Brainbucket

Tools required: Salad Serving Bowl, Tin Foil, Playing Card, Electrical Tape, Dry-Erase Marker, Screw, Naked-Chick Lighter, Pack of Smokes, Nothing Better To Do.



Once you've gathered your materials, lay them out so that you can easily access everything. I prefer the streamline effect of the Corning series serving bowl, because it has the pour-spout that doubles as an aerodymanic aid.



So that you can still serve salad on the weekends, grab the electrical tape and tape the screw to the bottom of the bowl. Get it tight enough around the edges so that it can widthstand the high winds generated by driving a cruiser at speeds in excess of 10mph.



Wrap your tin foil around the edges, leaving a little room on the sides to show the cool blue trim underneath. Chrome is essential to a good cruiser helmet, but you don't want to overdo it. Affix a Harley Davidson logo, or just make your own using the electrical tape. Both look equally good.



Attach a playing card to the side of your helmet to give it that "Gambler" look. Some may prefer the Ace of Spades, but in this case we'll use the Ten of Hearts to show our sensive side. The better with which to lure all the women who will find this absolutely irresistable.

You'll also notice that in true bad-boy style, we've added an additional lenghtening rod to our already cool spire. This will ensure that we stand out from those other posers with their generic brainbuckets.



Don't forget to adorn your helmet with the mantra of Harley owners everywhere. "If you can read this, the bitch fell off". Women adore this.



A USA logo is imperative. Let everyone know where your cool new custom brainbucket was made.

The final touch: Give your lighter friend a name and attach it to the front of your sweet new lid. This way you'll always be able to light your Marlboros, and will give you something to do while waiting for the tow truck each and every time your Harley brakes down.



You're ready to take your new domepiece out on the town. As a bonus, your neighbors won't fuck with you after you show off your masterpiece, because they'll think you're absolutely insane. If you have a tattoo, make sure that it's in full view at all times.



nfortunately for our display, we didn't have a cruiser handy. John's Monster 900 would have to do. (He wasn't exactly pleased about the concept...)



Get yourself ready to be the coolest guy on the block. (Note John walking away from me in this picture, no doubt looking for a place to hide..)



Let 'em know that you're a badass. If you see a camera - immediately give the finger. Note the sleek aerodynamics of the custom headpiece.



Hmm... Our design seems to have a slight flaw, but it's of no consequence. You'll be so mobbed by women when you wear this sweet custom job, you won't have any room to ride anyways. (I'm not laughing here.)



Doesn't it look good? Why dangle a crappy generic brainbucket from your mirror, when you can have this sweet piece of your own design!



BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! You think we'd leave you hanging with just the cruising helmet? How about this custom RACING helmet! Hardened Alloy Steel + Teflon = a helmet that will resist dents, and your brain won't stick to it when the paramedics peel you off of the side of the road!



Feel the power and security this sucker gives you! With this thing on your melon, you're invincible!



That's it! All you need for TWO custom Harley Davidson brainbuckets!

[KillBill]

Awesome story dude

[97BladeRider]

[OreoGitorio]

Originally Posted by CQ7String

I hope Mick's still crazy, Brent is still gay, and Stoneman still has the best nipples this side of the pond.

I've been around a few years, but not long enough to have met this guy... but I like him already

[beet]

LOL do da Danvers NH thing to bro.

[beet]

Quiggs for president

[mikeb]

thats just awesome!

[Honclfibr]

I remember this post. Classic NESR.

[Wishbone]

now thats good stuff

[Supah Dave]

No Brainbucket would be complete without "If you can read this, the bitch fell off" painted on the side!

[oreo_n2]

wait... did i miss something? did Quigs stop by recently?

[beet]

Originally Posted by oreo_n2

wait... did i miss something? did Quigs stop by recently?

yep he did

[CQ7String]

Hi guys. I'm even shopping for a bike right now. The end is nigh!

(It's only been like 4 years since I sold Mick my Gixxer, about freakin' time, eh?)

[beet]

good to see ya crazzy bastige