...but I'm bored.

An executive was in a quandary. He had to layoff some of his staff; business was very slow. He had narrowed it down in one department to two people, Debra or Jack, one of which would have to go. It was a hard decision as they were both excellent employees and equally qualified. He finally decided that he would do the equivalent of a coin toss: Tomorrow morning whoever used the water cooler first would have to go.

Debra came in the next morning very hung over from the party she had attended the night before. She headed for the water cooler with an aspirin in her hand. The executive approached her and said "Debra, I'm very sorry and I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or jack off." Debra replied "Could you jack off? I feel like shit."