[RyanNicholson]

Originally Posted by ChrisNoF4i

The bottom line is: you are 22. No matter how much you think you know, you don't know shit. You are quite mature for even realizing that this "kid" could become an issue in the not-so-distant future. But again, you don't know shit. And while this issue has sparked some interesting discussion, I highly doubt you will let a bunch of keyboard psychologists decide the fate of your future (especially when said future includes banging a hot chick.) I vote that you should just continue living your life and see what happens. Then try to learn from your mistakes. There are millions of hot chicks in this world. Some of them have kids, and some of them are virgins, but all of them are fucking crazy and they will all drive you nuts in the end.

can I nominate this for post of the year? haha

but yea, that pretty much sums it up I guess.

[MissTwisties]

Originally Posted by ChrisNoF4i

The bottom line is: you are 22. No matter how much you think you know, you don't know shit. You are quite mature for even realizing that this "kid" could become an issue in the not-so-distant future. But again, you don't know shit. And while this issue has sparked some interesting discussion, I highly doubt you will let a bunch of keyboard psychologists decide the fate of your future (especially when said future includes banging a hot chick.) I vote that you should just continue living your life and see what happens. Then try to learn from your mistakes. There are millions of hot chicks in this world. Some of them have kids, and some of them are virgins, but all of them are fucking crazy and they will all drive you nuts in the end.

Haha!! Awsome post.

[imkindafkedup]

i date a milf sometimes, she's hot and 26. her son is 7, but me and him get along great. we play with action figures and stuff (me an her son).

[RandyO]

milfs are kinda young for me, but gilfs are more fun anyway

[Nix]

Originally Posted by ChrisNoF4i

The bottom line is: you are 22. No matter how much you think you know, you don't know shit. You are quite mature for even realizing that this "kid" could become an issue in the not-so-distant future. But again, you don't know shit. And while this issue has sparked some interesting discussion, I highly doubt you will let a bunch of keyboard psychologists decide the fate of your future (especially when said future includes banging a hot chick.) I vote that you should just continue living your life and see what happens. Then try to learn from your mistakes. There are millions of hot chicks in this world. Some of them have kids, and some of them are virgins, but all of them are fucking crazy and they will all drive you nuts in the end.

AMEN. Listen to the Doctor.

[mzdagrl]

Originally Posted by ChrisNoF4i

The bottom line is: you are 22. No matter how much you think you know, you don't know shit.

While I do find most of your post rings true, I take issue with this one statement. At 22, I was graduated from college and living with my now-husband, getting engaged and buying a home. Not everyone is path-less in their 20s. That may be rare, but remember: "not all who wander are lost."

Ryan, I have met you and you seem you have a good head on your shoulders, and no matter what we tell you, I do think you will do what is right by you. If you heed any advice, listen to those who tell you to tread softly. Grown-up hearts can be and have been broken, but that kid's world has already been crushed once (by dad leaving), and it shouldn't have to happen twice (by getting attached to you quickly and then you leaving). Keep taking it slow and get to know where your relationship with her is going before you develop much with the kid.

As for the "don't do it you'll lose your bike rights" thing.....there are plenty of parents who ride, male and female. Maybe motorcycles are a good way for the two of you to get to know each other without becoming too close with her kid while you figure out if this is something you want to take to the next level.

[stevecbr900rr]

Originally Posted by bigred875

i think you need to sit down and really think about what you want out of your relationship with her and her son. Anything other then the "fairy tale" isnt fair for her son, regardless of what she says.

the baggage comment is more then just because she has a kid...

From what you have said in your posts this girl doesnt have a habit of making the best choices in life.....kid at a young age, ex is a pyscho..... those are 2 warning flags that should pop up...not "deal breakers" but not issues that should be ignored..

now we all make bad choices in life...but the smart ones learn from them and do not repeat them....she could be a smart one...but it's likey she is a repeat offender..so be careful...did you sleep with her on the first date? did you meet her kid fairly soon? Is she "all in" in the relationship...a little too soon(but it's cool cuz you like her)...

proceed with caution my friend...she could turn out to be "the one"...but she could also be a shitload of trouble...

my money's on the latter but i'm a cynic

+1 +1 +1 These are all the things you need to think about and more! Your young, do you really want to step into this role...You've got allot of livin to do brother. If it's something you feel strong about than knowone in here should sway you from doing what you feel is right. But you wouldn't have posted this thread if you were one hundred percent sure, so you should really think about this. Good luck with what ever you decide to do bud. Just for the record i'm one hundred percent with Red on this one...

[Crash Dummy Denno]

Originally Posted by mzdagrl

While I do find most of your post rings true, I take issue with this one statement. At 22, I was graduated from college and living with my now-husband, getting engaged and buying a home. Not everyone is path-less in their 20s. That may be rare, but remember: "not all who wander are lost."

god chris' post is even better now! validation!!!

[CMG241]

Does she have money? a dowry? real estate? 401K?

fuggit - any mildly attractive friends she could bring to the track?? (of course they need to like old married guys..)

[mzdagrl]

Originally Posted by Denno

god chris' post is even better now! validation!!!

Uhm....are you agreeing with me or calling me an idiot? Either way, the point was, a person is perfectly capable of making good decisions at a young age, and to not jump too quickly to conclusions based on someone's chronological number.

[Trackday Guru]

Originally Posted by ChrisNoF4i

The bottom line is: you are 22. No matter how much you think you know, you don't know shit. You are quite mature for even realizing that this "kid" could become an issue in the not-so-distant future. But again, you don't know shit. And while this issue has sparked some interesting discussion, I highly doubt you will let a bunch of keyboard psychologists decide the fate of your future (especially when said future includes banging a hot chick.) I vote that you should just continue living your life and see what happens. Then try to learn from your mistakes. There are millions of hot chicks in this world. Some of them have kids, and some of them are virgins, but all of them are fucking crazy and they will all drive you nuts in the end.

Oh My GOD! Truer words have never been spoken...
Amen brother, you have a believer.
If only I had realized this way back when...

[Stoneman]

Originally Posted by SSearchVT

Actually it's a MILFA... Mother I'd Like to F**k Again...

I was sort of in a similar situation (a little older, two boys, etc). The kid already has a father, so you're not going to fill that position. You can however be a positive model for him.

You're not the diciplinarian - that's the parents role. You are allowed to get mad if - for example he breaks something of yours. Let his mother know what he did. Let her be the one to hand out the punishments, etc. Be prepared to have dates cut short/cancelled at the drop of a hat. Things happen with kids.

Is she on good terms with her ex? If not, and he doesn't want her dating, he can make it real tough, real fast.

I was in a very similar situation to what you & Ryan are both saying, and that there is great advice. Not saying it's what you're into Ryan, but I've been with the same MILFA for 14 years now and married to her for 10 of those. Besides having a hand in raising her then 3 year old (she's 17 now-YIKES!), we also have 2 children of our own together. Nothing in a million years woulda led me to believe I'd be where I am now-NOTHING. But I couldn't be happier. If you're thinking a split is inevitible and it'll be hard cuzza the kid, think of this - the only thing that'll really matter at that point is that for some amount of time you have a positive impact on the kid. In his eyes, you'll be the good guy no matter what for many years to come...

Holy fuck! Did I just say all that???

[Stoneman]

Originally Posted by RandyO

milfs are kinda young for me, but gilfs are more fun anyway

Ewwwww...I think I just puked a little in my mouth. Aren't those called 'cougars' now?

[BostonSVkid]

I forgot that people here actually take me serious. I am married (been with my wife for 7 years). I love riding and so does she. I was joking

Originally Posted by MissTwisties

I'm sorry..but that's a little ignorant...LOL I have two children, and I'm obviously into bikes, so is my husband. Oh and I was that "Milf" once...now I'm married to "that guy" who took a chance on me. We have another child, have a very nice place, and have a normal life...with problems like everyone else. Imagines...he could be single, partying and have all the money for himself that he works his ass off for...what an idiot he was!!

[brendanp]

She looks like just a "kid" to me.. But I'm an old fuck!

[trickphoto]

Originally Posted by ChrisNoF4i

My motto in life (one of them anyway) is: Never get so attached to something that may be difficult to leave at the drop of a hat. This includes kids and dogs. Think about that.

Isn't that a line from Heat?

[RyanNicholson]

Originally Posted by brendanp

She looks like just a "kid" to me.. But I'm an old fuck!

well you are old enough to be her dad

Originally Posted by mzdagrl

While I do find most of your post rings true, I take issue with this one statement. At 22, I was graduated from college and living with my now-husband, getting engaged and buying a home. Not everyone is path-less in their 20s. That may be rare, but remember: "not all who wander are lost."

Ryan, I have met you and you seem you have a good head on your shoulders, and no matter what we tell you, I do think you will do what is right by you. If you heed any advice, listen to those who tell you to tread softly. Grown-up hearts can be and have been broken, but that kid's world has already been crushed once (by dad leaving), and it shouldn't have to happen twice (by getting attached to you quickly and then you leaving). Keep taking it slow and get to know where your relationship with her is going before you develop much with the kid.

As for the "don't do it you'll lose your bike rights" thing.....there are plenty of parents who ride, male and female. Maybe motorcycles are a good way for the two of you to get to know each other without becoming too close with her kid while you figure out if this is something you want to take to the next level.

I hear ya on the being young and still knowing a little something about life or being on the right path. After ski jumping with the national team for years and being successfully self employed for a while I'd like to think I'm slightly more on track than the usual 22yo. As it sits right now I'm one of very few of my close friends that actually has a career. Thats one thing I like about this board and being at the track, even those of you that are close to me in age seem to have a pretty similar mentality.

Chris is still completely right though, I don't know shit haha or at least when it comes to the whole settling down, normal lifestyle. Good call on the bikes being a good way to keep my distance from her son for a while...warm weather can't come soon enough. She's also excited to come hang out at the track

Originally Posted by Stoneman

I was in a very similar situation to what you & Ryan are both saying, and that there is great advice. Not saying it's what you're into Ryan, but I've been with the same MILFA for 14 years now and married to her for 10 of those. Besides having a hand in raising her then 3 year old (she's 17 now-YIKES!), we also have 2 children of our own together. Nothing in a million years woulda led me to believe I'd be where I am now-NOTHING. But I couldn't be happier. If you're thinking a split is inevitible and it'll be hard cuzza the kid, think of this - the only thing that'll really matter at that point is that for some amount of time you have a positive impact on the kid. In his eyes, you'll be the good guy no matter what for many years to come...

Holy fuck! Did I just say all that???

Its not that I'm thinking a split is inevitable...but thus far my longest relationship is all of 4 months...and I didn't even talk to her for the last month or so haha. But like I said in a previous post my life is definitely settling down a lot so the possibility of an actual relationship is becoming more of a reality. I do like your comment about having a positive impact on the kid for at least some time and always being the "good guy" for years to come....I'd like to think that no matter what happens down the road at least this will be the case.



dammit I need to ride and stop thinking about this kind of shit

[ChrisNoF4i]

Originally Posted by Denno

god chris' post is even better now! validation!!!

I couldn't have posted it better myself.


Victory!

[Doc]

Ryan.... You can do better my friend.

[l3uddha]

Originally Posted by Doc

Ryan.... You can do better my friend.

+1

[newgixxerchic]

+1000 no offense to her, but thats a lot more than what you're probably ready for at this point... (but to each their own i guess..)

[Trackday Guru]

Originally Posted by Doc

Ryan.... You can do better my friend.

OUCH! That should make her feel awesome when she reads this. Talk about helping the guy......
And Ryan....she will eventually find out about your "little friends" here on your "little forum" if you stay with her for any real amount of time. And be prepared, 'cause when she finds this thread she's prolly gonna be pissed. How dare you or your "friends" speak about her or her kid in this way, using this medium.
See, they have a way of finding everything you love, like, enjoy, or are remotely attached to (to any degree) and stomping the shit out of it with absolutely no regard for the fact that you started this thread in the hopes of finding some guidence from the previousely mentioned "keyboard psychologists".
So be prepared my friend. Such is life with woman.
And sometimes, yes sometimes life sucks.....You will surely see this soon.
Good luck.

P.S. Call me later, I'll give you some examples if you need them.

[MissTwisties]

Ryan, if you ever choosed to, I believe since you were the instigator of the thread, that you can delete it. If not, you can always ask Stoneman to do for you? It would suck if she was to ever read this...I don't think you've said anything "bad", but some of the other guys did...lol Trust me, she won't be happy reading some of the comments.

[nilez]

Originally Posted by RyanNicholson

i think i opened up a whole new can of worms here...

thanks for all the well thought out posts. i have no intention of ditching her just because she has a kid....

the last couple years I've had this habit of dating a girl for 2 weeks then i "get really busy with work and miraculously my phone, internet, and car all die at once." I'm thinking about resolving that issue for once.... just thought it'd be interesting to see what you guys thought, especially the people that have kids or have been through something similar.

hey I have that problem too!! damned electronics ... maybe afterall there is hope for me... maybe my mif is waiting out there somewhere for me!

[RyanNicholson]

Originally Posted by MissTwisties

Ryan, if you ever choosed to, I believe since you were the instigator of the thread, that you can delete it. If not, you can always ask Stoneman to do for you? It would suck if she was to ever read this...I don't think you've said anything "bad", but some of the other guys did...lol Trust me, she won't be happy reading some of the comments.

haha yea i really didn't expect such a party for this thread. it has been entertaining though.