[R1slowflyer]

So saturday i went to Maine. Havent been to ME since i was like 14 and dont remember shit about the trip other than the fact that i was wicked stoned....

so 4 people know i am gone for the day 5 if you count my parents but they had no idea where we went.

so everything goes fine get up there meet up with Devil1 pick up my new dirtbike that i had been drooling over for the past couple months cuz it was just sitting in my garage, another story for another time,

so we leave after spending a few hours shooting the shit making sure we have everything and we are headed home, btw i wouldnt speed in Maine if i were you them cops are sneaky sneaky sir, my phone rings......

I pick it up and its a lady from ***** Old Orchard Beach inn saying she is returning my call from about 45 minutes earlier asking about reservations for the 3rd and the 4th of july.

WTF I made no phone calls to no Inn

So i ask the lady

did my phone number come up on caller id or did I leave a message, she says I left a message with this number,

so i ask her what number i gave her and it was *** *** ****, holy shit thats my number, ok i said....

what did I say in the message i asked her, she said I was looking for reservations for those dates WTF

I asked her did i leave a name (thinking someones playing a joke on me at this point) and she said no

so just as i am about to pass the next exit i look at the sign and it says Old Orchard Beach.

This was fucking weird. like i said i havent been in Maine in 10 years almost and the only reason i was there was for that one day.

so i start thinking who the fuck knows i am in Maine and who the fuck has my number, and is this a funny joke. I mean wheres the humor if someone did play a joke on me. whos gonna laugh and how the hell are you gonna even know if i got the call, unless it was one of the 3 people that knew i was gone on saturday, knew i was in Maine, could be reading this exact post and laughing hysterically. and if it is one of you 3



the other suspect is way to dumb to pull this kinda stunt off. honestly i have know the kid for almost 20 years and he would not even think of something like this.

WTF ANSWERS PLEASE!

[DucDave]

I would have asked if the caller had left a credit card number. If they had, and it wasn't mine, maybe I would have taken the room....at least until someone showed up...

[loridin64]

copied number incorrectly. honest mistake? If it were a joke, i would think that they would have left your name

[Honclfibr]

This may be the worst story ever.

[ChrisNoF4i]

Big Brother is watching you.

[Crash Dummy Denno]

Originally Posted by Honclfibr

This may be the worst story ever.

+1

i feel like R1 slowflyer is at the stage just before he goes all britney spears on NESR and shaves his head and flashes his scarred cooter

wtf man!

[hammadown]

So the other day I was at my house and my phone rings and the guy says "hey where are you". I said "Im in waltham at my house" and he said "no way, Im in waltham too, Im coming over" and he did. It was my friend nick...very strange.

[OreoGitorio]

Denno has herpes. I know because DBconz gave them to him.


.... I know because I gave them to DBconz.



Not a true story. (except for the part about DBconz giving Denno herpes.)

[bergs]

So, this one time at band camp...



I've got a strange story for ya:




Alrighty, then ... picture this if you will.

10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes,
in my "need to know" pose, just outside of Area 51
contemplating the whole "chosen people" thing
when a flaming stealth banana split the sky
like one would hope but never really expect
to see in a place like this.
Cutting right angle donuts on a dime
and stopping right at my Birkenstocks,
and me yelping...

Holy fucking shit!

Then the X-Files being,
Looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan
with Isabella Rossellini lips, and breath that reeked of
vanilla Chig Champa
Did a slow-mo Matrix descent
Outta the butt end of the banana vessel
And hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw,
and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip,
and all I could think was:
"I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice
that I pissed my fuckin' pants."

So light in his way,
Like an apparition that
had me crying out,
"Fuck me
It's gotta be
the Deadhead Chemistry
The blotter got right on top of me
Got me seein' E-motherfuckin'-T!"

And after calming me down
with some orange slices
and some fetal spooning,
E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose.
He said, "You are the Chosen One,
the One who will deliver the message.
A message of hope for those who choose to hear it
and a warning for those who do not."
Me. The Chosen One?
They chose me!!!
And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school.

You'd better listen.

Then he looked right through me
With somniferous almond eyes
Don't even know what that means
Must remember to write it down
This is so real
Like the time Dave floated away
See, my heart is pounding
'Cause this shit never happens to me

I can't breathe right now!

It was so real,
Like I woke up in Wonderland.
All sorta terrifying
I don't wanna be all alone
While I tell this story.
And can anyone tell me why
Y'all sound like Peanuts parents?
Will I ever be coming down?
This is so real
Finally, it's my lucky day
See, my heart is racing
'Cause this shit never happens to me

I can't breathe right now!

You believe me, don't you?
Please believe what I've just said!
See the Dead ain't touring
And this wasn't all in my head.
See, they took me by the hand
And invited me right in.
Then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin.

Strapped down to my bed
Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Can't remember what they said
God damn, shit the bed.

Hey ...

Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position.
Such a heavy burden now to be the One
Born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending,
To write it down for all the world to see.

But I forgot my pen
Shit the bed again ...
Typical.

[jnm988]

Originally Posted by bergs

So, this one time at band camp...



I've got a strange story for ya:




Alrighty, then ... picture this if you will.
But I forgot my pen
Shit the bed again ...
Typical.

Holy fucking Tool reference... I've never actually seen that all written out, but I've gotten not low many a night and tried to decipher it myself.

[R1slowflyer]

that is the first time i actually understood the lyrics to that song!



thanx paul

Dave good idea too bad i didnt think of it

CDD/Honclflibber yes it is the worst story!



when i peed this morning my toilet told me i couldnt have anymore bacon

[bergs]

Originally Posted by jnm988

Holy fucking Tool reference...

Originally Posted by R1slowflyer

that is the first time i actually understood the lyrics to that song!

True story....really.


This should keep you guys busy for the next 3 or 4 days--> The Tool Page

Pllllllleeeeeeennnnnnttttttttyyyyy of reading.

Enjoy!

[Crash Dummy Denno]

Originally Posted by OreoGitorio

Denno has herpes. I know because DBconz gave them to him.


.... I know because I gave them to DBconz.



Not a true story. (except for the part about DBconz giving Denno herpes.)

dude that's slander...

[ChrisNoF4i]

Originally Posted by Crash Dummy Denno

dude that's slander...

Actually, it's libel.

[jnm988]

Originally Posted by ChrisNoF4i

Actually, it's libel.

Ooooo look at the brains on him :

[ZX-12R]

Originally Posted by ChrisNoF4i

Actually, it's libel.

Not if it's true!

[Crash Dummy Denno]

Originally Posted by ZX-12R

Not if it's true!

haha chris your wrong and stupid

[jnm988]

Originally Posted by Crash Dummy Denno

haha chris your wrong and stupid

[TheIglu]

Oh god. Just shut the fuck up already.

[ChrisNoF4i]

Originally Posted by jnm988

Ooooo look at the brains on him :

If brains were balls, I'd be Tony Montana.

Originally Posted by Crash Dummy Denno

haha chris your wrong and stupid

HBD! [herpes boy denno]

[ceo012384]

And I thought the smiley was appropriate the last time Keith posted a long-ass monologue of verbal diarrhea...