ow... my neck....
I am going to have to contact the Law Offices of D'Olivera & Morgan
Some People Are Just That Good:
Lawyer 1: "It's an open and shut case. The plaintiff claims that our client maliciously rammed into her car, causing undo duress, medical bills totaling one million dollars, and her dog's arthritis."
Partner: "What's our defense?"
Lawyer 1: (laughs) "Well, the plaintiff hit her brakes in the middle of the free-way, causing our client to collide with her. It wasn't our client's fault. We have sixteen witnesses to that fact, all of whom signed an affidavit that he had no chance to avoid the plaintiff's car, which was stopped dead in the fast lane. Also, after the accident, the plaintiff mocked our client, who by the way suffered a concussion and had to have his right arm amputated. She laughed when he asked why she stopped, and said she did it for the insurance money. That she was going to sue him for every penny he had and there wasn't a thing he could do because HE hit HER from behind. The best part is that one of our witnesses is a television camera man, who took out his camera to shoot the accident and got the entire confession on film. I've already talked to the judge, and she'll accept it as evidence in our defense. Finally, the plaintiff had no license and shouldn't have been driving. She's legally blind and had escaped from a local hospital for the criminally insane only three hours before the incident."
Partner (looking happy): "Well, that's wonderful. Who's representing the plaintiff?"
Lawyer 1 (looking suddenly UNhappy): "D'Olivera and Morgan" (Sound of a cymbal clanging in the background)
Partner (a tear rolling from one eye, speaking reluctantly): "...settle..."
05-15-03, 08:20 AM
Sorry 'bout that.
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