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I don't know how to control it any more. Sometimes the urge is so overwhelming, I SCHEME to score. Today, I folded. I caved, I gave in. I hear some say once you've gotten the bug, there's no real way to get ridda the taste. It was almost 20 years for me, I thought I was free. I thought I had it licked. Sure, there were times when I talked openly about it. I've even done it casually and recreationally recently, but it's taken me again - and this time by the ballz. It started as innocently as it always does, about a year ago. Little here, little there 'til you crave it again. I told myself last year that it served some purpose, then used that as an excuse to do it again. And again. When that wasn't cutting it anymore, I moved on to something a little more 'cutting edge'. This past week, it's taken over. The desire for that big score was driving me. And today I did it. I set foot in a place I rarely see and scored what I never thought I'd score again. I folded...