Crying mom syndrome........

[JeffL]

Well, finally informed my family today that I want/am going to be buying a bike. I got the response I figured from my dad which was "All I know is that your mom is going to say no." So I get around to telling her my plans, and as soon as I do, she breaks down in tears.

It just figures, shes so upset because a friend of hers in HS died RIGHT DOWN THE ROAD from where we live now when they were both just out of high school. It just figures, I mean, the spot where it happened was on Route 5 no more than .2 of a mile down the road, she said there was a truck turning right into a business, and instead of waiting, he pulled out into the left lane to overtake the truck and hit an oncoming car that he never saw head-on. I wasnt going to play the asshole card and tell her it was his fault he died, but she said she'll think about it. I even said "the group of people I've talked with online from a local forum have rules for riding with them, no stupid stuff allowed."

I just have to educate her, because pretty much what I expected was her expecting me to be speeding around and stunting the thing. :| Oh well, it was what I expected. "No, and if so, not while you live here." I know she cares and all, but everything I've done has always been influenced by HER fears all my life, cant live my life not doing things because my mom is afraid of them. I mean for god sakes, she hides in the basement when we have a thunderstorm.

[OreoGaborio]

Well... i just got my bike last year, so not much time has passed since i was in your situation. I know when i was about 18 (i'm 25 now) I told my dad I wanted a motorcycle & his response was "NOT WHILE YOU'RE LIVIN IN MY FUCKIN HOUSE"...... and he was right.... for a while

then I went off to college, got my permit, took the MSF, waited a while & started saving up my money... 3 years later I finally tell my dad (I had moved back home after graduating college) that I was 100% planning on buying one & wanted to make sure he was ok with it... he said "well... it's your money"... so waiting paid off. I got what I wanted & didn't piss them off. Sure my mom was aprehensive, but what mom wouldn't be?

All I did was give em time... ALOT of time... to get their trust. Best way to do it is keep them informed of the safety precautions you're taking. Educate them about MSF, take it if you haven't already, show them you're buying gear & wear it etc.

The more you say (in words or your actions) "FUCK YOU, I'M GETTIN A BIKE" the more they'll fight back... if you sit em down (separately, so they can't gang up on ya ) and ask for a few minutes of their time before they react & explain to em the situation, the more they'll understand & not reject the idea as much.

oh.... and when you finally get your bike & pull out of their driveway... pull out slow & wait till you turn the corner to pin the throttle... it helps alot more than you think

[JeffL]

Yeah, my dad had gone in to work for a bit this morning, and when he came home, he played it off like no big deal. He had 4 other brothers, and they all had motorcycles as teens/early 20's, and lo and behold, they are all still with us to this very day and fully functional adults. My dad will rationalize with her, and she lightened up about it alot even after letting it stew for a few hours. I immediately mentioned full riding gear, and wearing it ALL the time, and the MSF, as well as not progressing till I'm ready. (Baby steps......parking lots to local roads to taking longer rides, etc etc)

I'm not disrespectful, its not going to come down to FUCK YOU IM GETTING ONE!! Its just about rationalizing. I'm going to print out a bunch of those statistics I find online like "92% of all motorcycle accidents involve untrained riders" and "1 in 5 accidents are caused by riders without a valid license" etc etc. And leave them out on the floor for her to find and read.

Regardless I'm driving to RI next weekend and buying one. Should I have to store it in self storage for a bit, so be it. I dont want it to be a point of strain in my family, but I also cant keep living under the shadow of my mothers founded/unfounded fears about everything in life.

[mikem317]

Regardless I'm driving to RI next weekend and buying one. Should I have to store it in self storage for a bit, so be it.

You know you could always leave it with me...

Back to topic: Yeah, use the safety speeches and with time it will happen. I first mentioned it to the parental units when I was 18, finally won them over 6 years later.

MSF, wear gear, do research, ToTW videos, etc. Show them that you're interested in your personal safety as much as the sport and you'll better your odds.

[ZX-12R]

I was lucky when it came to getting a motorcycle. I was about 9 when I got my first dirtbike and I rode that thing religously. Almost every day after school, I would get home, change my clothes and go riding in the field. I even rode quite a bit in the winter as well. As I got older, I progressed to larger dirtbikes and kept up the same routine. Even before I turned 16 I expressed my desire to get a motorcycle. My father was 100% for it because it was his excuse to get back into motorcycling. My concern was with my mother because she worked at a hostpital for a number of years and got to see the downside of motorcycling. I was prepared though because she used to ride all the time with my father when they were both younger. When I brought up the subject with her, she expressed her concerns but then said if this is something I really wanted to do, then go for it. My jaw dropped because I didn't expect it to be so easy. Only a few weeks later I bought my first motorcycle; an '82 Kawasaki KZ-1000 LTD which I still have. My father did lay down the rules though. I had to have a full face helmet, leather jacket, good boots, and good gloves.

[JeffL]

Originally posted by ZX-12R
I had to have a full face helmet, leather jacket, good boots, and good gloves.

Personally I dont find any of that to be an option. I like my skin right where it is.......

[ZX-12R]

Originally posted by JeffL
Personally I dont find any of that to be an option. I like my skin right where it is.......

At the time I was certainly naieve to the dangers of the road and thought the full face helmet was uncomfortable and restricting. Over time I got used to it and it hasn't bothered me for years. Unfortunately I have whitnessed first hand several motorcycling accidents including one fatality. Those experiences alone were enough to keep me wearing the right gear. So far I have been lucky and have not gone down on the road but I have had my share of close calls that could have gone either way.

[SVRACER01]

For some reason when people play the "i had a friend that died on a bike" i get a little annoyed. You know youve met someone who sold theyre bike because their buddy died on one, i knew people that died in cars when i was in HS but i still drive a car, so whats the difference?
If she knew someone in HS that slipped in the shower and broke their neck and died...would you stop showering..NO. a little extreme i know but sometimes you have to simplfy it for some people.
The average life of a MC rider in Phoenix is like 2 years............i did it for 8 straight years riding 350 days a year and its obvious that im still here.
If you know that driving is a big responsability then you should understand that riding is a HUGE responsability. Good times can go bad FAST out there on 2 wheels and everyone here knows it. take it slow, take classes and dont ride over your head

[HBerry]

Well you could always play it the way I do also. I bought a bike a week or two after I turned 18. I didn't tell my parents about it because they both didn't like the idea of me having a bike and I didn't keep it at my house. My mom now knows about it and my dad doesnt, because he would freak if he found out, but I'm an adult, and therefore I get to chose what I do and do not tell my parents, so my dad will find out after I graduate. I live at school year round so he doesn't have to find out about it.