RIP Friend

[csmutty]

BREAKING: Friend Who Just Got Motorcycle Already Dead



BRIDGEPORT, CT—Moments after purchasing a new Kawasaki Ninja 250R, your friend Pete has already been killed, bystanders outside the motorcycle dealership have just confirmed. "Boy, that didn't last long," said bike salesman Chris Varrick, adding that “no more than 10 seconds” after becoming a bike owner, Pete lost control of his motorcycle, collided with an 18-wheeler, was flung approximately 30 yards, and died upon impact with the pavement. "He handed over the check, thanked me, and took off down Jackson Road. And then he died." At press time, Pete's younger brother, who inherited the bike, has also already died.


http://www.theonion.com/articles/bre...eady-de,29685/

[Brendin87]

That thing is cursed!! What a shitty story!

[Evadd]

I've been a fan of the Onion since the early 90's when it was in print form, but that story is sounds like a very realistic one that probably happens with some frequency. They're slipping.

[TheIglu]

He crashed so hard his Ninja 250 turned into a VFR.

[Chippertheripper]

His death means nothing to me. I like, didn't even know him.

[Evadd]

His death means nothing to me. I like, didn't even know him.

I was going to say the same thing til I saw he was just posting a joke.

[Pittenger5]

Was he wearing a helmet?

[JettaJayGLS]

Must not have had his hi-viz.

[SRTie4k]

Bike in picture is not a Ninja 250.

[Evadd]

Bike in picture is not a Ninja 250.

That's also not my friend Pete.

[TheIglu]

He crashed so hard his Ninja 250 turned into a VFR.

Bike in picture is not a Ninja 250.

Win!

[Manik]

Was he wearing a helmet?

With his hair still gelled up after? Nah.

[shortbus]

If he had a liter bike to start off with he could have power wheelied right out of the trucks path... wrong choice for a beginner bike.

[Uncle Snake]

Pete looks gayer than a rainbow painted unicorn dipped in AIDS......