<3 Senior Citizens

[gadget]

A college student at a recent football game challenged a senior citizen sitting next to him, saying it was impossible for their generation to understand his.

"You grew up in a different world," the student said loud enough for the whole crowd to hear. "Today we have television, jet planes, space travel, man has walked on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars, we even have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing ... and uh...."

Taking advantage of a pause in the student's litany, the old geezer said, "You're right. We didn't have those things when we were young; so we invented them, you little twit! What are YOU doing for the next generation?"

(I love senior citizens!)

[Garandman]

An elegantly dressed elderly woman is sitting at a hotel bar when a well-dressed elderly man walks in. He sits down next to her at the bar and asks if he can order her a drink.

"Why, yes" she replies. "Tell me: do I come here often?"

[Duffy]

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"

The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?"
The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, "Stella Findlay, Room 302..."
The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room."
After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and ...said, "I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Stella is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."
The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good news."
The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Stella your daughter?"
The grandmother said, "No, I'm Stella Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me shit."

[gregp]

A man brings his disabled elderly father to visit a prospective Assisted Living facility. They have arranged for a tour to see if the father likes the place and would consider it for future living arrangements.
As the man wheels his father’s wheelchair through the front door, the automatic door opens smoothly and quietly. They proceed up to the receptionist’s desk, and the man leaves his father a few feet behind him to speak with the receptionist about the prearranged tour. The father starts fidgeting about in his wheelchair, and he starts leaning over to the left. A pretty young nurse sees this, and she walks up to him and props him up straight and wedges a soft pillow into the chair on his left side.
Soon, the father starts fidgeting again, and he starts to fall over to the right. The nurse quickly returns and wedges another pillow into the chair on the right side.
The man at the receptionist’s desk is watching this, and is quite impressed with the prompt, attentive service his father is receiving.
The father soon starts fidgeting again, this time he is starting to fall forward in his wheelchair. The same nurse quickly responds by gently pushing him back into his chair, and putting on the seat belt.
His son is quite impressed.
As he finishes his business with the receptionist, the man turns to his father and says “We’re all set, Dad. How do you like it so far?”
His father responds “I like it just fine, except they won’t let me fart!”