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Dear Tech Support

  1. #1
    Lifer CMG241's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Windham, NH
    Posts
    1,798

    Angry Dear Tech Support

    Dear Tech Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0.
    I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected
    child processing that took up a lot of space and
    valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed
    itself into all other programs and now monitors all
    other system activity. Applications such as Poker
    Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and
    Racing 3.6
    I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
    attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm
    thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the
    uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

    Thanks,

    A Troubled User.

    (KEEP READING)
    ______________________________________

    REPLY:
    Dear Troubled User:

    This is a very common problem that men complain about.


    Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0,
    thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment
    program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is
    designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is
    also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to
    Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or
    purge the program files from the system once
    installed.

    You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0
    is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0
    manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support I
    recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving
    the situation. I suggest installing the background
    application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software
    augmentation.

    The best course of action is to enter the command
    C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give
    the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to
    normal anyway.

    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very
    high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support
    programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and
    Do Bills 4.2.

    However, be very careful how you use these programs.
    Improper use will cause the system to launch the
    program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way
    to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase
    additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and
    Diamonds 5.0 !

    WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install
    Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is
    not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible
    damage to the operating system.

    Best of luck,
    Tech

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!

  2. #2
    Just Registered KillBill's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Southern, NH
    Age
    45
    Posts
    11,726

    Re: Dear Tech Support

    HAHA
    passed it on to a buncha people.
    thanks

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!

  3. #3
    Just Registered TLRMan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    Northshore/Beverly, MA
    Age
    67
    Posts
    2,005

    Re: Dear Tech Support

    That's a friggen hoot!
    you can always do what I did, and left wife 1.0, and bought another computer with GF 7.0!

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!
    Too old to rock and roll, too young to die.

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