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Funny post from the SV list

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Bedford, MA

    Funny post from the SV list

    Subject: Warning - Synthetic oil.

    Beware of synthetic oil, it can do terrible things to you and your
    beloved motorcycle. It will not only leak out of your engine faster
    than you can put it in, but it will also cause your oil filter to
    clog and implode, dumping debris and dirt into your lubrication
    system. It also will make every part of your bike permanently
    slippery because of its linear molecular chain dispersion action.
    Then it will leak onto your kickstand causing it to retract
    automatically, dropping your bike on the ground! But that's not all...
    Synthetic oil will round off your gears and spin your bearings. It
    will also splatter onto your seat causing your girlfriend to fall off
    in the apex of a turn and she'll never ride with you again. Synthetic
    oil coats your sight window and your timing window with a whitish
    pro-emulsification additive that is both non-removable and highly
    corrosive. Synthetic oil will completely leak onto the ground overnight
    and your dog will drink it and die.

    Synthetic oil will wear out your tires and make your battery leak. It
    will give you the desperate need to urinate after you put your full
    leathers on and then jam your zippers shut. It will contaminate your
    gasoline causing your bike to stall on railroad tracks and accelerate
    uncontrollably near police cars. It will make it rain during rallies
    and on weekends. It will lubricate your timing belts causing them to
    jump teeth and break your valves to bits. Synthetic oil chemically
    weakens desmodromic valves and causes the clearances to change every
    six miles. Then it melts the black soles of your riding boots right
    before you walk across your new carpeting.

    While riding past groups of attractive women it will cause both of
    your handlebar grips to slip off at the same time so you smash your
    windscreen with the bridge of your nose. It also causes your swingarm
    to crack, your studs to break, and your rotors to warp, and then it
    voids your warranty by changing your odometer reading to 55,555. It
    also dries out your wetclutch and wets your dryclutch. It makes your
    clutch slave cylinder seal fail in the heaviest traffic on the hottest
    day of the year while putting an angry wasp in your helmet for good

    Synthetic oil hides your 13mm socket and puts superglue on your
    earplugs. Synthetic oil will scratch your faceshield and make your
    gloves shrink two sizes night before trackday. Synthetic oil stole
    your neutral and sold it to the Chinese for $1.25. Synthetic oil
    will make you grow a tail. Synthetic oil will write long crazy
    e-mails to your Internet friends and then sign your name at the


    Disclaimer - as far as I know, none of the above is true.

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!

  2. #2
    Angry Gumball RandyO's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Farmington, NH

    Funny post from the SV list

    I almost posted that here last night, I know that synthohol is the root of all my problems

    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!
    A man with a gun is a citizen
    A man without a gun is a subject LETS GO BRANDON

  3. #3
    Lifer oreo_n2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Amherst, NH

    Funny post from the SV list

    what if you want a mullet rather than a tail....


    0 Not allowed! Not allowed!
    Brent LRRS #772
    2006 KTM 560 SMR

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