MissTwisties

[DucDave]

So....didja take your trip? Did it change your outlook?

Come on kiddo....need to hear your Arlo Guthrie rendition.

[DucDave]

Guess you didn't go....

...pity...would have been good for ya...

[MissTwisties]

Dave, I was transfering the only 2 pics I took from my trip just now...on my cell phone, to post them on here. I forgot to bring my camera, and when I realized it, I was already way too far from home.

Disclaimer: Don't read if you don't care for sappy pathetic stories, because this one is one of them.

So a few people asked how it went over the past few days. Frankly, I didn't really want to talk about it, but since you've been insisting...I will. Just don't know how to say it without sounding too depressing but oh well, I'll just say it like it is.

I didn't go as far as I thought I would, first of all. Took backroads (Rte 10 amongst others) and got all the way to Newbury NH (Sunapee Lake), where I stayed the night. The ride started good...but when I got far enough, it just felt completly different than what I had expected. Loneliness settled in. Alone with my thoughts, I was going over everything I've been thru over the past few months (loosing a baby, being hospitalized for hemorraging weeks later, marriage going downhill...some of you know some of it, but only one or two know the full extent of what happend). I just started loosing my concentration on the road, thinking too much, tears filling my eyes at any moment and couldn't see shit where I was going. Had to stop many times to get a hold of my damn self. I f*ckin hate having emotions get the best of me.

The evening suddenly couldn't come fast enough for me to stop and get some rest. In my room, it all came out. I felt so empty, cried for a long time, trying to get it all out (this shit is HARD for me to type), thinking "tomorrow will be better". Well morning came, got up, feeling exhausted, drained. But I had to hop back on my bike and get going. Feeling the way I did I decided it would be wise to just go home and not try to go any further. The ride home, after all, would be just as long. Took some beautiful roads when I crossed over in VT. 131 to 100, slowly coming back in MA on the roads I know. I didn't want to go home...I was hoping this trip would bring some hapiness, some feeling of well being. It didn't, it only made me feel even more sad. As if the fact that I was left alone with myself was allowing me to think too much about my life and everything that's been going on in it lately. I wanted to "find myself" again. The person I really am who LOVE to laugh and be happy, who wants to enjoy what life is all about, discover new things and jump head first into new adventures. This trip didn't do it...but I'm hoping to try again. Altho, it would be nicer with a partner to share it all with.

So I know this is probably not what you expected to read, I'm sorry. This is why I didn't want to talk about it. I'm not sure if anything good came out of this trip? I've seen beautiful roads, beautiful scenery, the trip went fairly well with no real obstacles, but I don't think I got what I wanted out of it. I'm a trooper tho, I'll get over it, and pig head like I am, this is not the last that the roads have seen of me.

[MissTwisties]

Only pics I got...somewhere in NH, VT border.

[bigred875]

you should try it again..this time stop thinking and just ride......

[Sheppo]

If you look at the positives... you tried and realized you weren't ready, BUT YOU WENT! Good for you. Little steps

[DucDave]

Thanks for the update....
...and I'll bet, (from personel experience), that, as hard as it was to describe, you felt better after. There's an old expression...'A problem shared is a problem halved.' And you know that the folks here are caring and sympathetic...

Dave

[QuarterGig]

sounds like you needed the time to process and work on stuff. it may not have been the fun exlierating ride you planned on but, it may have been what you needed.

many of us go for rides to "clear our heads" and sometimes that meens garbage and baggage comes out. that is the way of the road. roll with it and keep on going. the next turn my bring an ice cream stand just for you..

[SoxPrincess83]

Hey Twisties. I'm sorry to hear your road trip didn't pan out like you were hoping it would. I can kind of relate to your situation, I'm kind of in a bad spot right now too, but I'm trying to pull myself out of it. Good luck! I know I don't know you too well, but if you need a friend don't hesitate to look me up!

[2v2Ducati]

yeah all that time riding and thinking can be kind of overwhelming. I drove out to Ohio and back by myself over summer, 1800 miles total. End up thinking alottttttt on the slab sections, 200 mile stretches of nothing highway but after the first few hundred miles when you are just away from everyone and everything it can become great, least it was for me, you get to just concentrate on the present and the adventure, loosen up and forget about all the crap that's kicking around back home. Think about what kinda food you'll get for dinner, how long before you need gas, simple easy stuff. I don't know ya but hope everything turns out the better for ya, give it another shot after you've had some time. im sure you'll have a blast, plus the friends you make riding solo make the trips.