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WELL THEN.
Cracked into the DR and not what I expected.
No smashed valves or piston. Rockers/cams are rough. Timing chain is very loose and timing way off. Probably skipped multiple times, first killing all compression leaving me stranded, then finally opening valves enough at TDC it locked up.
Have a few spare rockers/cams so I'm feeling *slightly* optimistic I can get away with new rings/hone/cam/rockers/timing chain/cleaning & maybe valves (although they look untouched I haven't inspected the seats).
Just starting to go over things though.
The amount of carbon & sludge is insane. Not too long before it died I almost completely sunk the bike. Dumped a *lot* of mud & water from the air box and had to kick it for ages to get running again. The intake valves have "fresher" looking smears of goop built up on top of the typical carbon deposits, so it probably took a few nice gulps of dirt & water...