D'oh - Tales of Personal Stupidity

[Garandman]

//.. the time I was swapping tires on the DL and the bike fell off the makeshift stand I had. Toppled over with both wheels removed.//

Now that must have encouraged some Army-level swearing!

And we haven't even gotten to the "Hey, Sir, watch this!"

[BSR6]

When I was in my 20's I lived in a quintessential bachelor pad. A buddy of mine bought a house shortly after college. Myself and another friend moved in with him to help soften the mortgage. Over time it became the norm for others to keep their bikes in our garage as it was a hub for group rides and social activity. As a result every summer the garage would be packed with bikes.

So one weeknight I'm returning from a solo evening ride. I roll into the garage and park at the very end of the long line of bikes stretching from one side of the two car garage to the other. Of course, in my long history of owning motorcycles this is the one time I don't quite get the kickstand all the way down (still not sure what happened). The bike settled on the stand fine until I walked away. At that point the bike fell over leading to a domino effect and knocking every bike in the line over. The most amazing part of the story...Only a couple of bikes suffered minor scratches and the bikes affected weren't in the best cosmetic shape to begin with.

Up to that point I was known to be the only one in the group without a story to tell regarding such mishaps. Between breaking that trend and the minimal damage it caused, everyone seemed to appreciate the entertainment value of it and showed no concern for the fact that I had knocked their bike over.

[Degsy]

1996, Maryland. My apartment complex. Brand new CBR600, oil change time. Drain bolt out, drain oil. Carefully dispose of old oil and put drain tub away. Proceed to put 4 quarts of oil through the motor and straight out the drain hole, then notice the drain plug sitting on the ground next to he bike. There was a 50 foot long stream of oil down the road. Just then a state trooper pulls up, looks at oil stream and says "I dont want to see any trace of that when I ride by tomorrow".

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There was the time stoneman and I started his vette after a year of sitting and set fire to the leaves under it.

[Petorius]

Or the time I changed the air cleaner in the DL. While I had the airbox apart I wedged a sheet of paper towel in the intake boot to keep anything from falling into the valves.. then re-assembled the bike and got all kinds of ECU errors 3 miles down the road. Only to find I'd forgotten to remove the paper towel and it was now wedged in the intake flapper.

I seem to remember something like this happening on your race bike and ending with an exceptionally hot lap.

[tls25rs]

Rode my bike to a friends miles and miles from my house. Going to leave and the bike wouldn't start. Fought with it for a while. killed the battery trying to start it. Gave up. Had friend drive me home. Friend charged the battery while I was gone. Went back up to friends house. Worked on getting bike started for much longer than I should have. Another friend came over and turned the fuel petcock from Off to On and bike fired right up........

[tucktuvak]

Just happened this past month:
Bought a 2003 Moto Guzzi V11 sport from the original owner for cheap, original tires on it (2002 date code). I'm driving it to my friend's garage basically next door to change the tires, going around a roundabout and a car stops suddenly in front of me. I grab a handful of front brake and I'm down like a bike on ice. Broke the cylinder head protector which is NLA from guzzi, and put a huge rash in the rear muffler, all at probably 10-15 mph. Picked the bike up and changed the tires, then sold it for probably $1k less than I could've if I hadn't dropped it so hard.

Another stupid thing:
Went to test drive a 1987 BMW 325IX coupe, manual, rare euro model, sport seats etc etc. When I test drive I like to push the cars hard to see if they feel tight at speeds, even if they are 30+ years old. After driving it I decide it's not worth buying, as the car will need a lot of work and is pretty rusty. I decide to take it for one last spin around the parking lot, autocross style, ringing the motor all the way out. So I'm going around a right hand corner at redline, and smoke starts billowing from the hood. Seller is like, you blew the radiator man, WTF. I'm feeling pretty bad, long story short he offers to sell me the car for $1k. I buy it, thinking I can make some money on it with a quick flip, fix the radiator, do the timing belt, and post it on bringatrailer or something.

Turns out this is a common problem with early E30 cooling systems. The upper radiator hose contacts the alternator fan, which eventually wears a hole in it. This is made worse by old/worn motor mounts. so it's an easy, $10 fix once I get the car. What's not easy? After driving the car more I decide it's worth keeping, and I want to fix the rust. Little do I know, E30's rust from the inside out, and the 325ix has a body kit that hides rust. So once I start taking it apart piece by I find rust holes in the front frame, front and rear fenders, and floors. So a 'quick flip' turns into an endless project/moneypit, just in time for track days and racing.

[nhbubba]

I seem to remember something like this happening on your race bike and ending with an exceptionally hot lap.

That was not intake related at all. That was "fixing" the coils. Totally different.
Dry compound fire extinguisher is really hard to clean off a motorbike.

[Paul_E_D]

That was not intake related at all. That was "fixing" the coils. Totally different.
Dry compound fire extinguisher is really hard to clean off a motorbike.

Impressive list none the less!

[xrocket21]

After cleaning my air filters on my RC51, I was out for a ride. Hit a bump, and kinda pinched my dick on my pants, hey, it happens. Hit another bump and it hurt again. I'm thinkin, is it rubbing directly on the zipper or what? Then a third time, I got straight up electrocuted via my dick, almost fell off the bike.

Went home and looked into it, and one of the plug wires had slipped out of place and was pinched between the tank and the frame, chaffed through, and was electrifying the fuel tank and my metal zipper on my pants!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If that wasn't bad enough, the coil and the wire was one piece so you cant just replace the wire you need to replace the whole coil, and I just decided I would replace both coil/wires instead of just one. I ordered them, they weren't cheap. I go to install them and get one replaced easily, but the other is nearly impossible to get to. It almost seems like you need to drop the friggen motor to get the coil out. So I go in and google it and I'm looking around on speedzilla and see a post that says that the CBR1000 coil on plug setup is a direct fit, costs half as much, and works much better, and most people just abandon the impossible to get to coil in pace. FUCK.

Well, I'm married to it now since the parts are out of the package and one is installed. I eventually get the coil out and replaced, spending WAY more time and money to get an inferior setup.

edit: actual reference thread from 12 years ago!!!

Changing coils/plug wires on my rc51

[Paul_E_D]

[RandyO]

I got married once.

[jim v]

Let's go for it - all vehicular related bonehead mistakes........

I got married once.

whole different thread there.......

[Degsy]

After cleaning my air filters on my RC51, I was out for a ride. Hit a bump, and kinda pinched my dick on my pants, hey, it happens. Hit another bump and it hurt again. I'm thinkin, is it rubbing directly on the zipper or what? Then a third time, I got straight up electrocuted via my dick, almost fell off the bike.

Went home and looked into it, and one of the plug wires had slipped out of place and was pinched between the tank and the frame, chaffed through, and was electrifying the fuel tank and my metal zipper on my pants!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If that wasn't bad enough, the coil and the wire was one piece so you cant just replace the wire you need to replace the whole coil, and I just decided I would replace both coil/wires instead of just one. I ordered them, they weren't cheap. I go to install them and get one replaced easily, but the other is nearly impossible to get to. It almost seems like you need to drop the friggen motor to get the coil out. So I go in and google it and I'm looking around on speedzilla and see a post that says that the CBR1000 coil on plug setup is a direct fit, costs half as much, and works much better, and most people just abandon the impossible to get to coil in pace. FUCK.

Well, I'm married to it now since the parts are out of the package and one is installed. I eventually get the coil out and replaced, spending WAY more time and money to get an inferior setup.

That is a brilliant story. FYI, you only got 12v. If you had got the actual coil output voltage, you would have crashed the bike.

[aldend123]

This reminds me of the time I was troubleshooting a bike that wouldn't start, going over various parts of the electrical system with a multimeter. Without thinking, I checked for voltage off the ignition coil instead of just checking with a spark plug. I know the coil works because now the multimeter doesn't. Blew the fuse, but it's enough voltage to jump a small gap so......oops.

[xrocket21]

That is a brilliant story. FYI, you only got 12v. If you had got the actual coil output voltage, you would have crashed the bike.

post coil, to the plug, is NOT 12V. The wire wasn't 100% worn through, so luckily I just got a tickle.

[jimmycapp]

That is a brilliant story. FYI, you only got 12v. If you had got the actual coil output voltage, you would have crashed the bike.

He wouldn’t have felt anything if it were only 12v.

[xrocket21]

This reminds me of the time I was troubleshooting a bike that wouldn't start, going over various parts of the electrical system with a multimeter. Without thinking, I checked for voltage off the ignition coil instead of just checking with a spark plug. I know the coil works because now the multimeter doesn't. Blew the fuse, but it's enough voltage to jump a small gap so......oops.

Made me LOL IRL

[SRTie4k]

That is a brilliant story. FYI, you only got 12v. If you had got the actual coil output voltage, you would have crashed the bike.

Last year at Epping during the NHRA Nationals, one of the Nitro Harley's had a coil wire pop off and ground on the frame halfway down the track.

Everyone felt pretty bad for the guy, but it was pretty funny watching him flop around like a fish on his bike trying to get it stopped. I can't imagine getting shocked by a nitro engine coil!

[Degsy]

post coil, to the plug, is NOT 12V. The wire wasn't 100% worn through, so luckily I just got a tickle.

My mistake, I was thinking it was coil-on-stick

[Degsy]

He wouldn’t have felt anything if it were only 12v.

OK, Ill attach a bike battery to each end of a zipper and you can rest your nads on the zipper and tell me if you feel anything.

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[feralchimp]

For science.

[xrocket21]

OK, Ill attach a bike battery to each end of a zipper and you can rest your nads on the zipper and tell me if you feel anything.

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usually you have to pay extra for that...

[Stoneman]

I've posted this before, just not sure where...

I once raced a guy on the cool down lap. Yup, he took checkered and I hadn't fully realized it. I dove in low in turn 1 and pushed him out onto the NASCAR track. Get by me on the "last lap"? Forgetaboutit!

The other version I posted was more detailed though, but I thought it should belong here as well.

[Paul_E_D]

It's about time the master entered this thread!

[loudbeard]

Degsy and I were installing a set of cams on my Speed Triple, had them indexed perfectly, or so we thought. Tried to start the bike and it would just sputter and never fire. Took it apart and put it back together at least five times with the same result. FINALLY, on closer inspection of the instructions, we realized that there were two indexing marks on the cams, 1 dot at 0 degrees and 2 dots at 180 degrees. Should have had it lined up at 180 degrees, we kept setting it to 0 degrees. Thankfully, that triple is not an interference motor. She lit off, pulled 150 wheel horsepower and nearly 80 ft lbs on the dyno tune.